So today Ive decided that I'm going to stop being a pussy and just start talking to girls, here is the plan. Any tips?

EricDisco · 2012-10-22T16:25:45+00:00

Forget all this "just be yourself" and "just relax" bullshit because none of it applies here. That's like skydiving for the first time and someone telling you, "just do what comes naturally." Flailing like a maniac and screaming like a little girl is what comes 'naturally.'

It's good you have a plan, even though your plan sucks. And it's good you're motivated. But being too motivated can be a problem here. I'll tell you why.

Here's what's going to happen. You're going to go out with your friend. You're going to sit there at the table with your friend nervously looking at girls around the room. And you're going to brilliantly come up with a billion reasons why you shouldn't approach even one of those girls.

Maybe you'll approach one woman and it will be the hardest and most awkward thing you've ever done, so you don't even attempt it again for six more months.

Most likely, you'll walk out of there not having approached any women when you promised yourself you'd approached two. Now you're two in the hole. That's okay, I'll approach four tomorrow, you'll tell yourself.

Now you're a failure. You hate yourself. You wonder why you can't do it. You wonder what's wrong with your body that you can't simply stand up and walk over to a girl at another table and say "anything."

You'll decide that approaching isn't for you and that you'll just continue to read more, and hope that when that awesome woman comes along, that you'll have gathered enough knowledge in your head to take the right action when that situation presents itself.

But even that won't work because knowing what to do is not the same thing as having practiced with your body. Ask any martial artist. Ask any tennis player. Ask any long-distance runner.

If you're serious about getting better at meeting women, here's what you'll do.

Go to this golden spot for one week every day ALONE. Fuck going with your friend. He's not gonna be there when you actually talk to these girls and you can't rely on anyone but yourself. While you're at it, find a few other places like this so that you can vary where you practice. This will be your foundation, the field on which you practice the greatest skill you will ever learn.
After one week of getting comfortable in these places, you will start to position yourself near these women. Find a reason to sit down at her table. Find a reason to walk over to her. The most important part of this is that you immediately take action and walk over to her when you see her. Don't think. Train your body. You won't talk with any of these women, you won't even look at then when you get there, you will simply train your body to walk over to them.
After one week of positioning yourself, you will then start to speak with these women. But you will only ask them one stupid question, and then say thanks and walk away. "Where's the restrooms in here?" will do. "What's the best food on the menu?" will work also. You will not continue the conversation. And you won't do this until after youv'e positioned yoruself next to a few women. You will train your body to say one thing and walk away.
After one week of this stupidity of asking dumb questions and walking away, your body starts to get accustomed to this. Your heart rate isn't freaking out and you're not breathing as if you're about to have a panic attack. Next, you will practice staying in just a while longer. You will ask one follow-up question. Or make a statement about yourself. "My favorite food on the menu is cheesecake." At any point in time, you will end the 'conversation' by saying, "Have a great day."
Once you're comfortable with bullshit small-talk conversations about the weather, about the food, about the place, you'll start to transition into personal conversation about her. "What's you're major?" will do for your situation.

You have plenty to work on. This is the most important thing you will ever do in your life, so give yourself time. Allow your body to become accustomed to the seemingly stupid and easy task of saying "Hi" to a woman. It is the toughest thing in the world you will ever learn how to do, but also the most rewarding.

Picklelol · 2012-10-22T14:16:10+00:00

dont know where i read it but, life begins when your comfort zone ends.

kurtgodelisdead · 2012-10-22T14:28:43+00:00

Work up to it slowly & regularly, not "I'm going to talk to all of them today" mentality.

It needs to be a habit you've accumulated over several months, if not years, otherwise you won't be a PUA, you'll just go through a phase of talking to women and then "fall back" to being your regular self after you've started dating one or two of them.

2cats2hats · 2012-10-22T17:09:18+00:00

Talk to everyone...don't limit yourself to girls... Talk to women, little old ladies, other guys. Conversation skills is why.

paladin_ · 2012-10-22T12:09:27+00:00

Just relax. It doesnt really matter WHAT you say, just HOW you say. Girls can definetly smell insecurity, so try to avoid that. Also, practice and be aware of your body language.

chosonhawk · 2012-10-22T23:22:45+00:00

One thing I'd suggest is to practice. Practice in a safe environment where your goal isnt to get laid...your goal is to get comfortable talking with strangers.

Parties. Talk to everybody...how do you know so and so...what's your major? Do you have an internship? Where are you planning to move after school? etc.
Grocery store. Talk about how if you only had one less item you'd hit the Express lane. Smile at people stuck in line with you. Let people with only one item in front of you and and make small talk.
Banks. Chat up the teller. They have to talk to you and its good practice to speak professionally from time to time.
Bus. Talk to whoever about how crowded it is, how bumpy the road is, the weird advertisement, etc.
Restaurants. The waitress will almost always be friendly because they're paid to be. Its good practice and a confidence builder.

Give yourself challenges. If you can convince a waitress to bring you something that's not on the menu, its a good sign you were at least amusing or interesting. Try to talk to a few random people a day. Comment on things to "no one in particular" and if you get a chuckle...make eye contact and kind of acknowledge it. You'll be shocked the # of people just looking to have a conversation with an interesting young man.

Be interesting...do things...volunteer...get involved...exercise, be knowledgeable. These will open up doors.

Practice practice practice.

If you dont fuck up at least once a day...you're not learning anything.

Whatever you do...dont quit.

Forget about women for a little bit and work on yourself. Do this for YOU. Women will be a natural and wonderful reward for your efforts to improve yourself.

Good luck!

charmingfuckinequine · 2012-10-22T12:33:10+00:00

nike motto

Chelonia_mydas · 2012-10-22T14:53:55+00:00

I love a guy that I can just shoot the shit with. Especially if he is someone that I could have an interest in. If you just have a normal conversation with her and don't kiss the ground she walks on she will definitely continue to talk to you. And if she isn't chill and doesn't like to talk about movies she likes, or fun things to do then she's probably pretty boring anyway.

itsmehobnob · 2012-10-22T17:14:41+00:00

My favorite coffee shop line is: "It's really busy in here, mind if I join you?" Works well, when it is NOT busy.

LieBaron · 2012-10-22T12:36:39+00:00

Have fun, keep it light :)

UnapologeticalyAlive · 2012-10-22T17:27:21+00:00

What you're about to do is kinda like jumping off a cliff and figuring out how to fly on the way down. Just accept that and you'll be fine. And don't worry, a rough landing doesn't hurt nearly as much as you might think.

cozzy28 · 2012-10-22T23:18:38+00:00

I always use this opener in a cafa or canteen. It only really works if the place is fairly empty with sets all around. HB sitting at a table by herself, walk up sit down the go "sorry there was no other free sets" . Then most of the time she just looks around the laughs, then you introduce yourself or just start a conversation

2012-10-22T16:22:54+00:00

Say hi. From there, figure things out. Improvise. You do this enough and you get amazingly good at it.

philzer0 · 2012-10-22T17:05:47+00:00

Stop planning. Start doing.

drclayt0n · 2012-10-22T17:12:50+00:00

I cant remember the exact wording, but i remember someones reddit basically saying that he tricked his mind into setting out to be the failure. Maybe I am saying it wrong, but basically you tend to shy off and close yourself up due to thinking you will look dumb or say the wrong thing. Well to overcome it you can make yourself think that looking dumb or saying something wrong is a good thing. It can only hurt you - if she in fact does think you are dumb, then she is just stuck up. Plus when you do actually come across one that responds to your personality then you'll realize you in fact are not dumb in the first place.

trombadingo · 2012-10-23T02:22:33+00:00

Good luck! It won't happen over night. Hell, you may stumble a few times. Tackle small battles like EricDisco suggested.

whattomybh · 2012-10-22T17:11:18+00:00

"My goal for the day is to approach 2 girls (obviously not both from the same place, I don't want that kind of reputation)."

Just came to say this reputation is EXACTLY what you want when trying to get girls interested in you. You dont need to be a man-whore but the simple fact of girls knowing other girls like you will make them start to like you.

you know what they say, you cant fuck the prom queen until she finds out her best friend jerked you off under the bleachers.

EDIT: made the quote shorter

toysjoe · 2012-10-22T17:25:55+00:00

their* probably* girl's* probably*

Afeni02 · 2012-10-22T16:57:10+00:00

Be like "hey I had to come over and meet you because I thought you were really pretty/adorable/cute/beautiful, it took me a lot of courage to come up and talk to you so just give me 2 minutes to get your number and I'll be on my way"

Title	So today Ive decided that I'm going to stop being a pussy and just start talking to girls, here is the plan. Any tips?
Author	anewman1993
Upvotes	70
Comments	43
Date	October 22, 2012 11:21 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/11w2u6/so_today_ive_decided_that_im_going_to_stop_being/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/so-today-ive-decided-that-im-going-to-stop-being-a.1341545 https://theredarchive.com/post/1341545

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