On Thursday night I was at a nice cocktail bar after work and saw a really beautiful HB 7.5/8. She was on her own, sitting on her phone. This is the type of place you either go to relax, or if you're on a date, and by the look of her she was out for a date.

I kept enjoying my drink and flicked her a couple of glances each time I generally noticed her looking over in my direction. She smiled at me a few times and I took it as a call to go over, so I did. She was waiting for a guy who had stood her up, she didn't seem too phased. I jokingly asked if she had other plans, to which she said no, and then told her she had them now and invited her to come and sit with me.

We chatted about life, our jobs, etc., and had a few more drinks.

I escalated kino quite quickly, pretty much right from when we talked and I told her we were hanging out now. I told her my name and gave her a hug when we started sitting together, touched her shoulders plenty, took an opportunity to play with her hair (she had a really, really beautiful dyed platinum colour), and pretty much took every opportunity I could. She responded positively, was reciprocating too (I have an intricate tattoo on my forearm she regularly caressed, etc.).

I had work the next day and I didn't want to stay out too late so I just turned to her and frankly said, "I like you, and I want to stay out, but my job is my priority. Give me your number and we're going to go out tomorrow night." I handed her my phone and she put it in. I walked her outside and looked her in the eye as we were parting and said to her, "I'm going to kiss you now."

I got this from Seddit, and it's honestly a surefire thing IF you have put the work in beforehand. You need to have escalated the contact enough that you would kiss regardless, but the delivery of the "I'm going to kiss you now." really gives off an air of confidence and infallible "self worth". I'm not asking permission, I'm not putting it to chance, I'm telling you I am going to do it. It puts the ball in her court ("Oh, I'm not comfortable with that..."), but also gives you dictation of how things will advance in the future.

Shortly after we parted ways she texted me and said it was her 21st the next night and I should come along (I’m 22). I fired back a simple "Sure!" and said I'd see her tomorrow. Woke up the next day and went to work, then headed home (I have a nice apartment in the CBD) and went to gym, then had a couple of mates over for a few drinks before I went to her event.

I arrived about 15 minutes late, a little buzzed, and said hello to her, gave her a hug and the card I bought (just said Happy Birthday, and a little pleasantry)... and then pretty much ignored her. She had plenty of guests around and it turned out we had a couple of mutual female friends who I chatted to for a bit. I was plenty outgoing (something she noted the following day) in talking to the complete strangers I didn’t know, and had a couple of girls ask me for my number, which I happily provided. At one point her mother introduced herself to me and asked how I knew her, to which I mentioned we’d been chatting for a little bit and she asked me to come along. All of her family were quite friendly, and I had a few drinks with her cousins and her brother. It was a fun and refreshing night.

I talked with her a bit throughout the night, but she was understandably busy. At one point we were standing together drinking some wine and the AMOG came in. He had no game, and tried to rely on obnoxiousness to get in with her. He tried changing the subject to something about his day but I reached out and put my hand on his shoulder and said, “Hey man, we can chat later, but I’m talking with her at the moment. Sorry dude!” and turned my shoulder on him and put my hand on her arm. Later that night I did talk to him and he apologised, said it was rude of him, and I bought us a round of shots. I got the technique of shutting them out in a polite way from one of the PUA videos. I recommend them.

It was pushing midnight and things were dying down, so I asked her friends what their plans were, to which they responded they weren’t sure. They asked her, and it turned out they were heading to another bar outside the city and she wanted me to go. We all jumped into a couple of cars (there were DDs) and headed to the next place. I was starting to feel a little worse for wear and decided to not drink more. Note, I think it’s incredibly important to recognise your threshold. I see A LOT of FRs where the Sedditor mentions they had too much to drink, etc., and if you catch it early it will help you not fuck up your game.

We got to the first bar and danced, and had some drinks. I was in a really great mood and I think it showed. I’m usually not a dancer but I just didn’t give a fuck and had fun. She was laughing and having a great time, and I think all of the social proof did a great job for me. I had tried to avoid indulgent physical contact because of the setting and her friends/family being around, but as we were in a much smaller group of her friends (~10 people) I pulled her in close and danced with her. There was a lot of seductive kissing, playing, but no overly full on PDAs.

Her friends would regularly come in and chat to us, join us in dancing, and one of them (our mutual friend) said to me that the birthday girl was glad I had came, and she had been telling her friends about me. Sweet.

The bar we were at closed so we moved onto another place. When we got there she met another friend of hers, AFC. AFC was following her around all night, constantly hitting on her, and making a fool of himself. I felt a little thrown off simply because he was a nice dude, so I pulled her over to me on the dance floor and really kissed her, making sure he saw. One of her friends went off and danced with him and later blew him, so I guess he had an okay night...

The second bar closed and we moved to the final one. It was about 4:30 am at this point and I was honestly fucked, but I wasn’t going to let it show and it was her night and I wanted to keep it that way. At the final bar I recognised a friend of mine and brought him into our little group. He immediately hit it off with the friend who had talked to me earlier in the night about birthday girl liking me, and I winged for him as well as I could. An AMOG tried moving on her, but I did the same thing as earlier and put my arms around both my friend and the girl and said I was glad everyone was having a good time. AMOG wasn’t offended and walked off. My friend later had sex with her, so I was really happy for him.

Birthday Girl’s brother was at the final bar, and I had another drink with him (I’d drank about a liter of water since I stopped drinking), plus danced with his sister some more. He was having a good time, and thanked me for being super social. I think a lot of social proof in this situation was by chance, but I took as much advantage as I could.

Birthday Girl came up to me and kissed me and said she was tired, and they were going to go back to a friend’s house, and asked me to come. About 8 of us took a couple of cabs back to the house and chilled in the lounge. Most of them dispersed to different rooms and left us in the lounge on a large couch. We immediately began making out, and we were all over each other. She let me access all of her body and only said, “I’m usually not this easy...” when I was in her panties.

I realised just after this that I was interested in more than just fucking her and said, “Look, I’ll be frank. I like you and I am attracted to you, I WANT to fuck you, but you deserve better than a couch.” I made sure to communicate this is a choice of respect, and not that I was tired (which I was), and we made out for another 30 minutes or so, chatted about life and random shit, and then passed out. I woke up with her asleep on my chest still, holding my hand. We went home separately that morning, but I texted her and thanked her for the opportunity to meet her family and friends, and said I wanted to see her again this weekend.

She responded positively, said she'd love to and said she really appreciated how social I was with her family and friends - her Mum had actually commented on this to her in private, too. So did her brother. Woo.

I think I like this girl and I am glad I didn’t rush into the sex.

Things I learned/refined:

  • Don't overdo the alcohol: know your limit

  • Social proof is important, but YOU should be the catch, not those around you

  • Be confident and smart about your actions, but also be genuine

  • AMOGs can be regular people, too, but don't damage their egos... too much

  • Look after your friends.