how do you become less outcome dependant?

XeroMotivation · 2013-12-13T08:49:28+00:00

Don't go out with the intention of getting numbers and practicing pick-up. Go out with the intention of having a great time. Pick-up should be the by-product of a good night, not the other way around.

IPlayUkulele · 2013-12-13T01:44:19+00:00

Your last sentence answered your question.

On another note, how much do you day game? I recommend a nice mix of day and night game for finding your outcome independence. Go out and get rejected everywhere. Rejection is not a bad thing - it's actually great! It stops you from wasting your time and lets you move on to a better prospect. Once you realize that rejection isn't personal and you stop worrying about it, I find game in itself just comes so much more easily.

adventuretimeXD · 2013-12-13T06:22:07+00:00

Maybe it's your attitude, cocksucker.

Calling women "bitchy" or "slutty" because of your own failure is not going to help you....

exhibitionistcouplez · 2013-12-13T13:57:17+00:00

Ha, cause you're focused on the wrong outcomes.

You're selfish, basically. It's all in your post, short as it was. You're focused on your outcomes, you should be focused on theirs. Women aren't pieces of ass. They're people who you can have a hell of alot of fun with. And with the right mentality, they see you as someone they can have a hell of alot of fun with and they flock to you.

I could explain how the girls I want flock to me, but I don't want to get off into "yeah my life is awesome what's up!" so I'll just say I'm lining up a foursome in the next few weeks with my girlfriend of not quite five months.

How did that happen?

PUA has alot of stupid terms for concepts but one they get somewhat right is the whole "add value" schtick. See, I'm the master of adding value. People are awesome. Well, some people. Most, to me, are boring as shit. But a few are people who I can really give a damn about. People I want around, who I have fun providing fun to. Parties, hanging out and back yard bbq, foursomes after a trip to a strip club together, you know, whatever.

My outcome dependency is "am I helping other people have a great fucking time?"

If the answer is yes, I'm having a great fucking time too. My friends are the same type of people. One of my best friends? His wedding involved costumes, a five gallon bottle of whiskey, and a cake with two ounces of weed baked into it which I got a piece of right behind the mother of the bride. Is that shit ridiculous? Hell yeah. Was it fun? Hell yeah. I don't go as far as he does, but then that's because he likes being the center of attention more than I do, and a ton of people who are friends with both of us had a great time and some great memories because he's an awesome dude who gets off on providing other people with a good time.

How does that apply to you?

You called women pieces of ass. They're not pieces of ass, dude. They're people who are out for a good time same as you. And when you incorporate that idea into your interactions with them, you draw people in. If you're all about making sure everyone around you has a good time, if you're the guy who takes care of other people first, you'll get yours. Fucking believe me, you'll get yours.

You're focusing on details like text game and wondering how to be less outcome dependent. The answer there is invest in other people's happiness. It really is that simple. Get to know people and find out what's fun for them, then hand it to them on a silver platter. Girls can't get out of their panties (if they're wearing any) fast enough when you're a guy they think is fuckable who meets them and treats them like a person who deserves a good time.

Doesn't everyone deserve a good time?

You're out to get some, and you're trying to focus more on having a good time. How do you do that? Focus on other people having a good time. You don't have to be some limp dick nice dude who is nonthreatening and sacrifices himself for the sake of others. You have to figure out how to make yourself be someone who gives a shit about whether or not other people around you are having a good time.

You know, one of the things I've found that girls fucking love is a guy who can interact with strangers in a positive way. Instead of focusing on her and getting laid, they focus on having fun and include her in the fun they are having, share the fucking wealth.

If you don't have wealth, go back to square one and learn how to be a fun person and have fun with friends, then bring girls into that circle of friends or something. Dudes think the point of the wingman is to handle the friend of the chick you want to get with. The point of the wingman is to provide someone who can showcase your positive bits by being there to have fun with you, and make other people think "hey, if I hang out with this guy I'll have fun too!"

Stop talking about knowing it's going to be an epic night. Have you made it an epic night yet? No, you haven't. You're sitting here anticipating that, and when you expect an epic night you get disappointed.

Go make it a great night yourself. The sex will come once you learn how to do that.

:Edit:

Did I say "good time" enough? I'm drunk as shit, sorry.

Scoolscks · 2013-12-13T05:53:37+00:00

I feel like a big part of your game needs to be focused on your inner game. Be content with being alone. Be content with being yourself. Fulfill your own life before you try to bring girls into the mix. Start working out, be the best you you can be. Dress nice. Look like a stud. Be genuine. Be direct. And most importantly be confident. The best way to be confident is to love yourself. IT ALL RELATES BACK TO YOUR INNER GAME. Working out and going out by myself is what is helping me conquer some of that. Try it for yourself.

2013-12-13T11:39:47+00:00

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joshsway · 2013-12-13T13:51:34+00:00

I hate the term outcome independence. Why would you become "outcome independent?" Do you really not care about the outcome? That makes no sense. Why shouldn't you have a goal? Again, it makes no fucking sense. You SHOULD care about the outcome; you SHOULD have goals. What you shouldn't do is allow fear of a negative outcome impact your game.

bob4job · 2013-12-13T14:40:09+00:00

Stop thinking of it as game. Girls are real people. They can be fun to hang out with. Just have fun, and if you like a girl, move things forward with her. Seduction is a tool, not a goal.

Spadeninja · 2013-12-13T05:17:05+00:00

I'm no expert however I feel like it's just about almost "desensitizing" yourself. Get rejected time and time again till you don't care about what way it goes! I'm still a rookie but working my way to the top.

Best of luck my friend!

rmbarnes · 2013-12-13T17:35:55+00:00

No, you should be thinking about getting some. If you're not the type of guy getting regular lays from cold approach you do have to really focus on getting the lay. The whole don't be worried about getting laid thing only works regularly for guys who are already good.

It takes time to develop outcome independence. It usually comes from knowing you're good enough to get consistent results. It means you won't let any one set bother you too much because you know you'll end up getting the win sooner rather than later.

So you'll have to wait until you get some results before you start to develop this. This is why once you reach a certain level of competence with women results can snowball as things like outcome independance click into place. It's really hard to get there just by thinking about it.

Joker_Robinson · 2013-12-13T18:07:27+00:00

Simple just tell yourself this one phase "I'm going to have fun no matter what. " once you see yourself deviating from that plan tell it to yourself again. If you have fun she'll have fun, and then imo youll be able to kino and k close much easier because "I'm already having fun what's there to lose? ."

RagaTanha · 2013-12-13T20:22:33+00:00

How many times per week do you go out? How many approaches do you do per time you go out?

ThePUA_Baddie · 2013-12-14T05:03:33+00:00

I believe that there is nothing wrong with having sexual desires for women and just that, but what you need to realize is that it doesn't work that way. These girls don't owe you shit, the world doesn't owe you shit. They have every right to be bitchy and ignore you and your texts because they don't owe you anything. Now in order to become less outcome dependent, well it's really tricky. I've been in that situation, putting in a lot of effort and then getting disappointed and frustrated when your not getting results. The way you should look at it is that you can't stay frustrated forever you know.

If you go out 3 nights a week and each night become frustrated with not getting a girl why even go out? Eventually you're going to have to learn to go out and just enjoy the night unless you want to come home 3 nights a week and be frustrated because you couldn't pull...

Title	how do you become less outcome dependant?
Author	Luckyluke23
Upvotes	14
Comments	38
Date	December 13, 2013 1:32 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1srh72/how_do_you_become_less_outcome_dependant/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-become-less-outcome-dependant.1363030 https://theredarchive.com/post/1363030

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