A friend of mine found out I do pickup and laughed at me. Why do I feel so ashamed? How do I stop being so anxious about stuff like this?

luckystrike1212 · 2015-07-20T14:41:31+00:00

My friends used to laugh at me when they found out I read books and other stuff on pick up artists. Now I have a hot fiance, and they're stuck with their ugly gfs. Just brush it off.

TheXXL · 2015-07-20T13:33:14+00:00

By getting used to it. At best by getting positive or neutral reactions to such things. Or just get more cinfident, that also helps a lot.

zomgitsduke · 2015-07-20T20:37:07+00:00

My friends laughed at me for line dancing. One week later I sent them a picture of two insanely hot blondes kissing me on the cheek. For some reason they've given it a try and love it now. Whenever I see them talking up a cutie I walk over and remind the. Of how "gay" they thought it was. I've cockblocked them a few times now just out of spite.

Do your own passions, who gives a fuck what others think.

CauseImBatman · 2015-07-20T18:17:08+00:00

You need to understand, that people do things like that constantly. If we see someone who takes on a path, that can lead him to outgrow us in any part of life, we become scared. Scared of change - we're too lazy to change ourselves, we want to keep things as they are! Anything that brings change, or even worse, change that will devaluate the perception of ourselves, is a threat. So we attack, to protect our own ego.

I will leave you with this beautifull quote, by Marianne Williamson:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. "

dcthebrohan · 2015-07-20T17:40:42+00:00

Your friend sucks.

2015-07-20T14:51:46+00:00

When you really wanna get better at something, let how much you want to get better inspire you to drop the ego. Like do you wanna be seen as good 100% of the time...or falter and not seem good sometimes, and thus eventually become great?

BigBootyBear · 2015-07-20T16:50:38+00:00

Do what i do. Visualize going out with your friends to a bar, and 30 minutes later leaving with the hottest chick in the bar. You can add a part where they all say to each other "how did he do that?"

Visualization is how you manufacture motivation out of nothing. Practice it as a skill, and your life will improve in every way possible. Allow yourself to dream, and allow yourself to claim those dreams as real life goals.

jodeljunky · 2015-07-20T18:02:15+00:00

How can you be "ashamed" and do "pickup" ?

I mean, my Rule Number 1 is : If i think i'm done something stupid it's okay to think about it, but when i know i haven't done a mistake or something i'm fine with it. I mean you have to have confidence with yourself or your pickup is worthless. Sorry for my bad english...

EndOfTheUniverse · 2015-07-20T18:29:34+00:00

Unless you have the kind of relationship where you and your friends laugh at each other for the weird stuff you do, in which case, you should just brush it off, you've laughed at him enough times.

Otherwise....you're friend is laughing at you to try and make himself feel better. Which is a dick move. What you do with that knowledge....is up to you.

FriedLizard · 2015-07-20T18:58:53+00:00

Stop caring so much about the haters. You've spent more time in this thread replying to the one troll than to all the helpful commentators combined. Seriously need to redistribute your mental energy.

FitMeBaby1MoreTime · 2015-07-20T20:09:33+00:00

People are afraid of what they don't understand.

What are we all learning here? Attraction psychology and self improvement.

People don't like to be told that their feelings CAN be boiled down to a level of predictability, but lets face it, we here know that true practice you can get with practically any average person. People never like to think of themselves as the average person, but lets face it, most people have to be average.

PUA scares unreasonable people. PUA teaches people to be reasonable, it's what's great about it.

Dyablo66 · 2015-07-20T20:41:35+00:00

It's always like this - only guys who also studied game will understand you. Naturals usually think it's stupid to learn theory instead of just "being confident", chodes think it's creepy ("OMG, approaching random girls YOU DON'T KNOW?! YOU'RE MAD")/useless/even mysogynic if they went white knights. Even if they have GFs they're not happy with (but won't leave them cause they won't find new ones) or no sex at all. Altough I've got two friends I've got into game, most would probably shun me as well, so I don't tell anyone, only my close friends who eventually ask me how I'm good with girls. If someone finds out - there's really no other way than not to give a fuck and let them see you with a stunner, that always shuts them up.

2015-07-20T22:15:24+00:00

Success justifies itself. As you start to date attractive women that they only jerk off to they'll start asking for advice and apologize, lol.

2015-07-20T22:24:09+00:00

RSD Tyler talks about this in one of his vids. Your equals are threatened when you pursue self improvement. "Why you going to the gym, stay and smoke weed with us, what you think you're fat?" In American Sniper: "why you trying to be a seal sniper, the doorkicker seal teams ain't good enough for you?"

Next time they laugh, tell them to stop bringing you down. Alternatively, it's also how guys normally bullshit. I give my friends shit for everything and they do too. Specifically concerning pickup, go out with friends and talk to a bunch of girls like you normally would. Keep in mind that your friends are just huddled like a bunch f losers and approach no one. Fuck em, you've come a long way by pursuing it, and they sit idly in their comfort.

Cookiest · 2015-07-21T00:21:09+00:00

You're trying to improve yourself and some people don't like that because it shows that they too could improve but are not motivated enough to go through withy it.

By shaming you they stop you from improving and thereby prevent themselves from feeling shame for not improving themselves.

Same reason if you suddenly find success in business and your now poorer friends make fun of you for being rich.

They're jealous and afraid at their self perceived shortcomings.

Keep doing you. Keep improving. Soldier on.

recyclablebantha · 2015-07-21T04:27:13+00:00

I know it's not something to be ashamed of, and I'm pretty sure this thick feeling in my gut right now is anxiety that comes from ego -- how do you get to the point where shit like this doesn't bother you anymore?

"Pickup," "seduction," all of this..... it's nothing more than being social and developing confidence. That's really it.

Your friend laughed at you because he's insecure about himself and would rather put you down than improve himself when faced with something he could improve. He might even be jealous. If he continues to take the road of putting you down, then he's no friend and you might want to reconsider your involvement with him. Friends should elevate you, not put you down.

You felt ashamed because you're still working on your confidence and maybe because you still think of "seduction" as something where slimy guys are all, "Heeeyyyyy gurl....," wrapping their arms around some girl that doesn't want it, and tricking them into bed.

You must dispense with this incorrect myth. Seduction is merely being social. That's it. It's a teamsport: nothing really happens without the girl contributing. Any guy who tells you it's about a guy being smooth, isn't getting it.

2015-07-21T04:44:55+00:00

I never understood the idea of shaming or laughing at someone learning seduction. Women in particular think things like PUA material is just some "cheat" to get into a woman's pants, when it's really a skill learning how to converse with others. If a woman starts working out to lose weight in order to attract men, is that somehow laughable? Rather hypocritical if you ask me.

There's nothing shameful with recognizing you currently lack a skill and honing it. If you suck at basketball, what do you do? You take the time practicing how to dribble and shoot. Is that shameful? Absolutely not. Learning how to talk to people is a skill like any other, and practice makes perfect.

2015-07-20T16:12:28+00:00

Just know that either he's pathetic, jealous or just being an ass. Either of which you shouldn't care about. Do your own thing and be confident in it. Who gives a shit what other people think...life is too short and what 70 yr old pua do you see out there? Zero.

Not2original · 2015-07-20T18:30:59+00:00

Don't call it pick-up, or seduction. I call it socializing, because that's really what you're doing.

And get some new friends, friends don't make fun of each other for trying to be sociable with people.

apollo_ape · 2015-07-20T17:37:59+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	A friend of mine found out I do pickup and laughed at me. Why do I feel so ashamed? How do I stop being so anxious about stuff like this?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	34
Comments	50
Date	July 20, 2015 1:19 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3dxy7p/a_friend_of_mine_found_out_i_do_pickup_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/a-friend-of-mine-found-out-i-do-pickup-and-laughed.1391292 https://theredarchive.com/post/1391292

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