Am I boring at texting?

jonnyhaldane · 2015-07-27T08:00:53+00:00

Yes, you are a bit boring.

You don't want to have 'logical' conversations where you are just exchanging information about yourselves. You want to always move towards playful, flirty conversations.

Your first opportunity to move things forward was after the two texts when she thanked you for remembering her birthday. She liked you a lot in that moment, and you didn't take advantage of it. You fucked it up by saying that you don't keep track of days during summer - what is she supposed to say to that? You also didn't reply to the second text.

I would have said something like:

"You're welcome. I was planning to give you a birthday striptease later, but my leopard print thongs are all in the laundry."

A line like this is funny and sexual, but it's also pretty safe because you are being ridiculous. Plus, you can refer back to it later as you start flirting more.

Also, later on she said "which one?" - that was also an opportunity. If she is asking you a question, she is investing in the conversation and you need to say something funny, flirty, intriguing or challenging.

Also: 1. Don't draw attention to your mistakes 2. Don't apologise unnecessarily 3. DO NOT ask for her permission to text her

The three mistakes above make you look like a dickless 'nice guy', which is the last thing you want to be.

skeleto333 · 2015-07-26T23:35:27+00:00

No, you're not boring at texting. She clearly is. Either she flat out sucks at it, or she's just not interested in talking to you. Seriously the first thing you said wasn't difficult to follow; she also said nice twice in a row.

About that message you would like to send her, don't. Saying something with malintent will not help your chances. Even though it's slow, just pick up again any perhaps catch her in a better mood. When she's on a good note, then hint at hanging out with her and pull her in.

CrushHazard · 2015-07-27T07:26:52+00:00

You aren't boring, just a little needy. Use less emoticons for sure. Right now, you just sound like this enthusiastic friend. You are playing around in the top layer of conversation.

Try to take it deeper.

If she doesn't feel you, then you're already in the friend zone. Just cut her off, and forget that she exists. Maybe some day she will wonder what happened to you and hit you up. At that point, you need to be bolder. Dig into her thoughts, feelings, dreams....all that.

If she doesn't mind getting more personal, then keep getting more intimate with your conversations, but just don't talk too much. You don't want to be her bestie, you want to remain somewhat mysterious.

Spend time thinking about what you are sending her before you press send. Ask yourself, "is this text part of my plan to make her want me more?" If not, then don't send it.

theblockhouse · 2015-07-26T23:36:19+00:00

I don't think you ate boring but I do think she isn't interested.

DefaultModeNetwork · 2015-07-27T00:52:26+00:00

A lot of guys make the mistake of thinking chicks are all pro texters when clearly, some of them really suck. Granted, they'll try harder if they're interested but still, many of them just kind of blow ass on that medium. I don't think this chick is particularly interested, however, so I'd definitely dial back the communication. If you're going to text again, I'd recommend not playing it so safe and sending something more indicative of your true intentions, even at the risk of offending her. I only suggest this because you are straying into friend territory if you aren't there already.

dooblegoo · 2015-07-27T05:19:38+00:00

Stop saying sorry!!!

heretogetbetter · 2015-07-27T00:54:56+00:00

Doesn't matter. The goal of texting is to set up a time to meet. That's it. This light banter you are doing is fine if it leads to you asking her, which in your example it did not.

lasvegasfun · 2015-07-27T03:58:33+00:00

You are also messaging her on a day that literally everyone she knows and their mothers are messaging her too. Imagine how many birthday text she is getting from others who are just trying to catch up with her as well. If someone tried starting a full blown conversation with me through text on my bday it would be pretty tough to keep up with how many people I know.

TY1901 · 2015-07-27T08:41:15+00:00

The person you're texting needs a slap in the face. I hate when people text back like that. Its like they dont even give a shit. You sound interesting man. message someone else who's worth your time.

TearsofSoyyy · 2015-07-27T02:29:07+00:00

she's just not into you bud, sorry. If I ever text just " nice" or "haha nice" (unless the convo has already died down) it's because I'm not looking for a response..

aHomonym · 2015-07-27T03:32:29+00:00

She's not great, but honestly neither are you. The big one is that you kinda hit her with random anecdotes and lines that are impossible to respond to with anything. That thing about Mitch's 4th of July Party? Unless that was an inside joke, it was like you were begging her to ask about it, and it looked pretty cringy.

Was that birthday thing a genuine mistake or were you actually just coming up with a reason to text her?

trickledowntheorist · 2015-07-27T03:41:30+00:00

First of all, do not send that follow up text. Frankly she doesn't owe you anything, whether that be a follow up response or anything else. Second, giving an ultimatum to a girl you aren't dating will get you nowhere.

From the conversation, she doesn't seem that interested, but she responded to a lot of texts, so she could be bad at texting. You need to be better at making plans and solidifying your intention. "Can I text you later" could easily be "we should hang out sometime" Texting is a boring platform, you can't actually let who you are shine and too much can get misconstrued via text. Try again, but be quick to ask her out in the conversation, and regardless you'll have an answer. She'll say no or nothing and then boom, you know to move on to the next girl (there is always a next girl) or she says yes and you got your date. You aren't bad at texting, you just need to realize you're on a direct medium and you need to be direct or else live in an ether of uncertainty (which gets you no dates). Hope that helps.

firekitty29 · 2015-07-27T03:57:36+00:00

Shes the one who boring at texting, if someone is continually replying with "haha" or "nice" and not contributing to the conversation, clearly she's either not interested or not in the mood. I think you should wait for her to text you or wait a few weeks to text her again.

juanlee337 · 2015-07-27T04:26:19+00:00

yes you are , so is she. you both just not compatible . Find someone who brings out the best of you. I am like you , boring as hell but my gf always talkative and very inquisitive in what I do..which keeps us engaged with each other .

jayhovaasmywitness · 2015-07-27T04:46:51+00:00

She keeps waiting for u to get the hint and stop texting her; you can tell with all the banalities at everything you said towards the end of your picture

auveeb · 2015-07-27T05:37:31+00:00

Dude, I would just ask if she wants to come out to at xxx, or if she wants to hang out in general... texting is boring in general. Either she's down or she's not... dragging out 5-20 word responses isn't going to change her mind.

Hecticchow · 2015-07-27T11:28:54+00:00

Lots of boring small talk. You need to be flirting as much as possible.

futuremo · 2015-07-27T16:33:53+00:00

You should be texting to set up a date... keep it logistical. And you asked for permission to text her??

RecordEverything · 2015-07-27T17:14:24+00:00

Send only the second sentence, but be more specific.

I_am_Russell · 2015-07-27T18:15:02+00:00

Shes not interested.

dicklord_airplane · 2015-07-27T19:08:32+00:00

you're too needy, scared, insecure, and are not making your intentions clear. but hey, most young men have to work on that. it's obvious that you're dancing around the fact that you want to fuck her and are too scared to ask her out. simply put, you're acting like a woman would act when she's obsessed with a guy, and that's extremely unattractive. if i didn't know beforehand, i might've guessed that you were a girl and he was a male T. Swizzle fan who wasn't attracted to you but didn't want to hurt your feelings.

when it's obvious that you're putting more effort and investment into a conversation than she is (and it should be obvious here), you're in a bad place and should either stop the convo or ask for a date. if it feels forced, it is, and you're killing it. keep it short if it feels awkward and focus on setting up a date rather than making conversation.

when you ask her out, have some ideas for dates already lined up and ask her out directly. girls really appreciate when your intentions are clear and have the courage to risk rejection. i like to say it like, "i want to take you out/hang out with you some time. i'm thinking about either _____ or ______. Which would you prefer?" don't ask her for ideas for the date that you're taking her on. don't fucking look to her for advice on how to be a man, basically. quality girls are looking to you, the man, to make fun and romance happen. always.

and never fucking ask if it's ok to contact them. all of this reeks of fear and insecurity. but don't beat yourself up over it! failure and suffering is a necessary part of the process. almost every single guy has to go through this 100 times before we learn.

GFons777 · 2015-07-27T00:17:53+00:00

I like you bro because you like TOP. Keep on trucking bro.

Title	Am I boring at texting?
Author	NeedAdviceOnStuff
Upvotes	18
Comments	39
Date	July 26, 2015 10:52 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3epgg3/am_i_boring_at_texting/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/am-i-boring-at-texting.1391618 https://theredarchive.com/post/1391618

Comments