Can you ask a girl if you're wasting your time?

i_forget_my_userids · 2016-03-14T01:02:16+00:00

No, just quit caring. Don't be so outcome dependent. It reeks of insecurity.

random_a · 2016-03-13T23:07:53+00:00

If flakes, offer a second chance to reschedual since it might be legit.

If straight up declines move on, either she is not interested or she does this to play games and that shit is not worth your time - unless you are into that of course.

If she agrees on a date but acts all not interested, or even on her phone all the time, then I'd just straight up ask if she'd rather part because she is wasting both of our times.

RobbyFeelsGood · 2016-03-14T00:51:38+00:00

Don't ask that. You'll definitely ruin it. I've done that before and it always goes down in flames... Are there any ways you can think of to turn that dynamic around on her? As in you "playing hard to get."

Also there are ways that you can (gently) show disapproval for flaking etc.

quadtodfodder · 2016-03-14T02:58:15+00:00

Once I was in bed with a gal sort of screwing around then sleeping then more fooling around till like 4 or something. Finally I said "are we going to fuck or can I just go to sleep?"

We slept together no more.

adaman360 · 2016-03-14T02:59:01+00:00

Never ask that directly. Just try to escalate the situation. If she declines a date offer or flakes out, won't kiss you good night, etc then just move on. Be more assertive. Games are for kids.

DaygameCoach · 2016-03-14T03:01:34+00:00

no, seems needy/reactive. If you can't get the girl out, move on.

Interbrett · 2016-03-14T06:06:22+00:00

First off, don't make yourself so available. Texting other than to set a date to meet up will never increase attraction. Second, actions speak louder than words. NEVER say anything that can be considered an ultimatum. Be cool. Trust your gut. When you do meet up. Be in too her, genuine and have fun. If she's not into it. Move on. No message, just move on.

Woujo · 2016-03-14T01:59:39+00:00

Ask her if she is single. You'll be able to tell where it's going from the answer to that question.

madhaxor · 2016-03-14T08:11:57+00:00

pulled this with a girl I've been seeing, resulted in me taking her home. everything is circumstantial.

Monikerss · 2016-03-14T04:09:36+00:00

lavasca · 2016-03-14T06:26:48+00:00

If you are relying on hearsay to get the status of your budding 'relationship' then you are definitely wasting your time. I hope I misinterpreted the situation. Ultimately, if you suspect you could be wasting your time then you probably are. Cease pursuit.

Redstar81 · 2016-03-14T14:24:15+00:00

Despite most of the responses here I've done that and it worked quite well. I knew she was already interested but I timed the question in a way to show her that I was as well.

erythrocyte666 · 2016-03-14T19:55:28+00:00

For this, I like Mark Manson's idea of 3 strikes and you're out. Essentially, you try to initiate something or set up a date. If she flakes 3 times (you give her 3 opportunities as a benefit of doubt in case she genuinely couldn't respond ), you say it was nice knowing you regardless and move on.

2016-03-14T22:33:29+00:00

No, that sounds like something a woman would ask.

Bodegaz · 2016-03-14T06:31:34+00:00

I text this: "If you're not interested just say so, I can take it, I'm a big boy"

Text/communicate that early in the relationship.

Judge by their response or lack thereof, and react accordingly.

SinfulLIar · 2016-03-14T02:27:53+00:00

if u can, go for it, anger is a strong motivation, make ur self better, ur life better, and if did it, and still want to rub it on their face, do it, as a reward for your hard work, but remember, they most definitely will make some effort too in their life, so...

Title	Can you ask a girl if you're wasting your time?
Author	madnus
Upvotes	43
Comments	38
Date	March 13, 2016 10:47 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/4aafiw/can_you_ask_a_girl_if_youre_wasting_your_time/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/can-you-ask-a-girl-if-youre-wasting-your-time.1403972 https://theredarchive.com/post/1403972

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