Being present in the moment?

TimHatesChoosingName · 2016-06-21T16:17:49+00:00

Being 'present in the moment' just means that you shouldn't worry about the past and future.

Let's say that you see a girl and you want to approach her, your mind is going to fabricate all sorts of excuses for why you shouldn't approach her. If you're present in the moment, you're basically like "I'm just going to approach her, and the outcome be damned!".

CrownChief · 2016-06-21T17:51:21+00:00

A New Earth and The Power of Now by Eckart Tolle are the best books on this subject.

cajunspice · 2016-06-21T21:14:03+00:00

An easy way to train yourself to do this is to think about what your experiencing through your senses instead of what your mind is telling you.

What does the environment smell like?

What kind music is playing?

What is the vibe like where you are?

How much fun is everyone having?

What colour dress is she wearing?

Just try to FEEL where you are in that moment and appreciate it. I'd usually do a "reset" like this whenever I was getting too into my head. I'd just focus on my senses, look around, smile and think about how much fun everyone is having and how im young and healthy and how anything could happen and I will one day look back on these nights and wish I didn't overthink everything and just had fun. Then when you feel that calm, go talk to someone.

TheyCallMeNatty · 2016-06-21T17:06:59+00:00

Listen to Nick Sparks fantastic talk with 21 convention "How to hold a conversation like a man" or read his book "Come As You Are". Nick Sparks is fantastic at being present and holding space

sebK1 · 2016-06-21T17:17:32+00:00

Dude, being "present in the moment" is being in the exact same way you are when you are sitting in the toilet trying to squeeze out a really fat turd out of your ass. YES. It is the most obvious and simplest way to be for a human being. If you somehow "try" to be in the moment, you will never be in it. Period. The first step to become present is stop trying to do things inside your head/body.

Big_TX · 2016-06-21T16:41:19+00:00

It means not lost in thoughts or thinking about he past or future or chores. When you meditate you can strengthen your presence. A cool effect of that is it lets you feel more chemistry with girl.

There is also a slightly woowoo feeling that is a component of being present. I don't think that part can be described or explained. It's subtle.

There are different degrees of being present.

pearsonpd · 2016-06-21T21:12:18+00:00

In my experience being present is a matter of being consumed by what is happening in the moment. Let's say you are going to ask a girl out or even mid intercourse if your mind is elsewhere how intimate can the experience be? Full immersion is the name of the game. Eye contact is crucial, think about what is happening not what could happen, when you and another are entirely consumed by eachother there is no room for distracting thoughts and allows you to be almost hypnotized. Achieving this will give you both an escape from reality to euphoria, a truly memorable moment.

Tyrion69Lannister · 2016-06-22T07:31:08+00:00

Also, it manifests itself biologically by having high testosterone and low cortisol. This gives you that overly chilled out and leaning back vibe like nothing can go wrong because you obviously won't die and anything else besides that is ok. It has been shown that having this biological makeup allows you to naturally emulate characteristics of leaders. "alpha males", guys with a lot of friends and/or with a woman, leaders, and people of high authority have been shown to have high testosterone and low cortisol. Also having this makeup will make you less reactive and less anxious, you won't be as jumpy in scary movies, your attention attention is more focused and you become less inside your own head, your movements slow down, etc. You just become "cool" and not worried about anything. i don't know how to explain it.

I'm no doctor but i suggest a good diet and working on your mindsets and confidence as cortisol is directly related to your stress level. Get enough sleep and familiarize yourself with a place or situation so you aren't nervous (or rationalize or give less shits). Also be really good at something and replicate the feeling you have when you are in a position of leadership.To increase your testosterone, work out and masturbate less. Also be around women. If you have a lady friend with you, your testosterone levels naturally increase.

YeahNahfuckOptus · 2016-06-23T13:38:46+00:00

The Power of Now is probably one of the most transformational books I've read. Alot of it sounds hippy-ish but once you understand the concepts, it's amazing how receptive you become to everything around you because your head isn't in "what did I do just then" or "what will I do next" phase, just "what is happening now".

As far as girls go, I suppose it will help because it will help you get rid of negative thoughts. Say you see a bangin girl, dressed immaculate and looks sophisticated. Not being "in the moment" would be thinking "shit she's probably gonna look down on me, she's hot af she gets so many guys hit on her, she's probably snobby as a result". Being in the moment would be "she's hot, I like her, I'm going to say hi". If she turns negative, then you go "oh shit this isn't going well, how do I react to this?". That's just my understanding. I'm piss poor with girls yet but that's more due to not having confidence, not because of lack of social skills. I need to get more in the moment as well. I do understand the concept but doing it is a bit harder lol. Anyhoo idk how much of that made sense, hopefully someone can add to it or fix it up and hope it helps you.

bbgrill99 · 2016-06-21T17:33:54+00:00

It's about focusing on what is happening around you, right now.

Most of us are thinking about something else. We're walking to the grocery store, but thinking about what we're going to buy, or what we're going to do tomorrow, etc, not all noticing anything around us as we walk to the grocery store. What color is the house you just walked by? Probably didn't notice. You're not in the present moment, you're thinking about something else.

Present in the moment means thinking purely about what is directly around you, right now. So for example I hear the sound of my fan, I see the sunlight coming in through the window, and if I were talking to someone I'd be watching their lips move, their eyes, focusing on every word as they say it. The opposite would be to be partially listening while the other half of my brain is wondering whether I should go to Subway or make something at home for lunch.

Cantloginhere · 2016-06-21T21:51:43+00:00

It's also about trust in yourself and your continuity. Trusting that you need no effort to cope with what the future will bring, near or far. The same way you are coping with now, because it is and always will, only be now.

Also letting go of the concept that the you is a construct of past, and as mentioned, future illusions.

Cowboyup65 · 2016-06-21T21:59:34+00:00

Watch After Earth by Will Smith. Its a great movie with that in it. It'll boost your confidence immensly.

CrushHazard · 2016-06-22T16:58:31+00:00

I prefer the term "awareness" because I think it's more accurate/useful and it doesn't have all those connotations of new-agey bullshit.

You are surrounded by people, places and things in your daily life. To me, awareness just means that you feel yourself in a kind of communion with the world around you, and you're not living in your head or shutting things out that displease you. A big part of it is a positive mental attitude, but it's also about not fearing the potential of something out of the ordinary happening.

Sade put it well in "Smooth Operator":

He moves in space with minimum waste [and] maximum joy.

s0undwave · 2016-06-23T20:12:21+00:00

Be an experience.

Woujo · 2016-06-21T18:36:26+00:00

I wrote a thing about this: https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/4nruhg/living_in_the_moment/

It basically means don't worry about what's going to happen and don't come into the interaction with any specific goals or worries. Just enjoy whatever is happening. If you are laughing at a joke with the girl, laugh at the joke; don't think "I better laugh right so she fucks me later."

Title	Being present in the moment?
Author	wakeel55
Upvotes	34
Comments	21
Date	June 21, 2016 4:00 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/4p5bsv/being_present_in_the_moment/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/being-present-in-the-moment.1408501 https://theredarchive.com/post/1408501

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