Being rich can be a problem! How do I explain a complicated career and significant wealth?

BFoskett · 2016-08-20T15:48:00+00:00

[deleted]

What is this?

letsindulge · 2016-08-20T15:28:39+00:00

[permanently deleted]

onemorething2112 · 2016-08-20T14:37:24+00:00

I don't want to take without giving, so here is collection of tips.

Essential Facts

A rejection feels better than an aborted approach.
Do fun things
Start, or restart text game by sending a girl a photo of a fun thing, and an update from you that needs no reply.
She will MAKE TIME in her life for you if you demonstrate value.
Speak slower and from the chest.
Laser eye contact makes women melt, and men respect you.

On Tinder

Be different. She has 200 other guys with erections bombarding her, make sure you stand out.
Best opener for getting laid "Would you rather give up eating pizza, or having your pussy eaten...forever"
Best opener for a conversation "Would you rather have no knees or no elbows"
It is possible to get a date using only GIPHY. (Open with a funny gif of an awkward moment and say "This could be us") and then search for taco or sushi or pizza, and a day and time.

On Looks

There three kinds of guys, models, normal looking guys that girls will fuck, and freaks that girls won't touch.
2% of guys are models, if you look that good, you are probably fucking a hot girl with no self esteem not here.
The ONLY thing separating normal guys from freaks, is grooming, effort and confidence.
Doing those things is easy, but takes time
My face is lopsided, my hair is thinning, my body is riddled with scars from obesity, and still I have done pretty well this year.
I grew a beard, got a haircut, bought nice clothes and made sure they are washed and ironed.
Always make sure your room is clean and date ready. Even slovenly women are put off by someone elses mess.

On Sex

If you were raised in America, just accept your natural views on gender roles and sex are fucked up, and will take a lot of time to re-align to something healthy.
Every person loves having sex.
Women are people.
Forget the hollywood sex scene fairytale.
Always be aware of body language, especially during sex.
90% of the time...when in doubt. Kiss her a lot, warm her up slowly, go down on her until she cums, slide your dick into her, and then pin her down and fuck her with the goal of breaking her bed. A few women only want the first part. Most fantasise regularly about the last part only.

On You

You are the only person that matters in your world, be the best you can and actually MATTER.

IANAPUA_Yet · 2016-08-20T15:52:29+00:00

I immediately default to the corporate description I give to other people in business to convey my status in their language, which is downright boring.

So... don't do that.

Are you passionate about what you do? If so, forget about what it says on your business card and just launch into a story about the that part of the job that inspires you to get up in the morning.

If you're not that passionate, just give a quick "I work in manufacturing" and then pivot to a different subject.

How else would you avoid being put into the provider box by women?

That's a like a super model strutting around in a bikini, wondering how she can keep guys from thinking about her body. She should take off her makeup and put on some baggy clothes.

Or she should accept that her body is an important advantage and focus her efforts on finding someone who is attracted to her body and her personality.

apharickine · 2016-08-20T18:02:10+00:00

I have the same problem. To those of you who say it's about your presentation style and your ability to tell a story this can certainly be a factor. It sounds like OP has a mild case of humblebrag.

Once you get past that there are long term problems that come up and cause problems. At first she'll see my house and be amazed. It's when she has time to really see my house. Home theatre, gym, wine cellar, and the garage. It's the shit that you show instead of tell that really starts their wheels turning. I've had more people comment on the size of my TV than anything else.

After the material things become boring then it's about taste. Selection of restaurants, wine, etc. Travel and schedule flexibility. Shopping preferences. It's a bunch of lifestyle differences that compound together.

I am way more attracted to a successful woman who maintains herself well over naive beauty. The best combination: successful and fit. Women like this get it. And they can appreciate the technicalities of your success if you choose to share. I think the core principle is self discipline. This can result in success in areas that require long term dedication, like being rich as fuck.

peachesandcreame · 2016-08-20T16:37:44+00:00

"Contrary to popular belief, aside from the very clear gold-diggers, wealth is not the golden bullet." This is only popular belief among the sheep. Real seducers know money means jack shit.

Stop talking about jobs in general. I fucked a girl for a year and she had no idea what I did. The focus should be on her. Deflect with a joke as you've been doing then ask her a question about herself.

Or just keep it simple, "I'm in manufacturing/construction." Then move on to a different conversation topic. Don't explain in depth.

Maybe get an unfancy car or start ubering? Try to not show too much wealth to girls, especially early on.

Conversely, if you have a mansion start throwing huge parties then just fuck the girls at your place.

Ultimately, you're projecting the wrong frame. You need to project more of the I'm a guy who will fuck you not date you vibe regardless of your wealth.

Conversely, you can just give me all your money ;)

DaygameCoach · 2016-08-20T17:11:28+00:00

The resentful reactions is a red flag about how you tell your story.

Stop defaulting to the boring corporate description, preferably about a business or aspect that you are passionate about. Come up with a story...can you focus on the fashion business? You can start small, by saying you are in fashion and introduce the business itself a little farther along. From there...introduce the other businesses but...but by then you are past gold diggers.

You are casual, right? Not looking for a Gf or wife? Screening for serious vs casual in women (so you get the right women) and sub-communicating whether you are serious or casual is important and I wrote about it here: http://www.daygamer.net/2012/07/06/how-to-get-the-right-girlguy-communication-skills-101/

Challenger25 · 2016-08-20T17:50:38+00:00

I've got a similar problem, I'm still looking for best way to deal way to deal with, but I haven't posted anything because I was afraid it would come across as humble bragging. I can tell you what's worked and what hasn't.

I'm an airline pilot. I'm 29 but I look like I'm 24. Often when i tell girls what I do, they think I'm lying. A couple times it's even gotten to the point where they think I'm full of shit and want me to prove it to them, which is really annoying because I didn't even want to talk about my job in the first place. A lot of women place a high importance on your career and there's no getting around that.

I've found it comes across better if I tell them about my job after shes crossed 'I'd sleep with this guy' threshold in her mind. If it comes up before that she might think I'm using my job to get in her pants, a huge turnoff, or she'll make assumptions about me based on my job, i.e. 'that I'm a player'.

If you can avoid talking about your job/wealth until later you'll see better results. Unfortunately it's usually one of the first question girls ask. However, straight up evading the question will only make it worse. Saying stuff like, "I work a t McDonald's" or " I don't want to talk about work" will only make it a bigger deal to her and it comes across like you are uncomfortable about your job.

The best strategy I've found is to downplay it and switch to talk about her job or another subject entirely. That being said, I'd love to hear some other solutions to this problems.

ImChrisBrown · 2016-08-20T18:56:04+00:00

Just don't put as much weight on it. Steer conversations elsewhere. I've traveled 4.5 out of the past 9 months (thailand, india, australia, chile, peru). In that time I've been to a full moon party, went to yoga school in india, swam with a manta ray in aus, snowboarded 65 days, drove and jumped trophy trucks in vegas, been on several cruises, married my best friends, hiked to macchu pichu and went to the driest spot on earth in Chile. You don't need to explain that you're fabulously wealthy to have badass life adventures you just have to make it an aspect and a point of your life. I work 6 months out of the year and make around $40k however I value having a badass lifestyle and doing sick shit over having things or paying huge bills. In the next year I plan on traveling to Italy for work research, Japan for powder and Spain to run with the bulls. When people ask what I do I tell them I sell Italian food and some assume I'm a distributor or proveyor or some other real career. I'm a server at a nice Italian restaurant in a ski town.

The conversation about work goes for as long as I want it to. Usually if they rank above me in pay or career I steer the conversation elsewhere or highlite aspects of life I find important and value (family, travel, friendship, personal advancement, challenge, nature, digging deep).

Brand yourself differently. Say you do consulting, or mid level management, or payroll, or literally any aspect of your job that you want to claim (because you do do it) and move on from it as quickly/as slowly as you want. If they don't see your car or your mansion don't reveal your wealth. If they do tell them you do X and you're paid well for what you do and you're proud of how far you've come...but that its not what you're really passionate, that in the past year you've found you enjoy traveling so much, and how hitting the gym and losing weight has really changed your perspective on life and how you want to be challenged by introspection or some shit.

Literally you get what you focus on. Focus on your wealth being a hindrance and it will. Focus on having a dildo on your head while picking up women and it'll be a hindrance. Focus on connecting with a woman and having a great night/time out yourself and you will.

SuperConfused · 2016-08-20T19:27:52+00:00

I grew up with a guy who had this issue. He has his hand in many different pots, but he found his solution with real estate.

He decided to see if he could make any money in real estate and went to a conference in Atlanta. He met a woman at the hotel he was at and she asked him what he was doing in town. He told her he was at this conference, and she said, "Oh, you are in real estate."

He has told every woman he has hooked up with since "I am in real estate" to explain his money and traveling. He says it dismissively and focuses on other things in his life.

You would need to actually buy or sell a piece of real estate to not be lying.

godofgainz · 2016-08-20T20:48:59+00:00

The best advice I've ever heard regarding high net worth is this:

"A rich man never needs to tell you he's rich."

This is because verbal communication is only 7% of all commutation. The other 93% is non-verbal (i.e., body language, style, manners, etiquette, etc.) and women are 10 times better than men at perceiving non-verbal communication. Best to get the 93% of your communication down and never speak of your wealth verbally. And, when asked directly about it NEVER answer directly. Just hint at it and you will build intrigue... the most intoxicating emotion that makes seduction easy.

Justachillday · 2016-08-21T01:21:17+00:00

no offense but you might be coming off from a place of ego when you talk about all these things. i've never had anyone question me about anything even though i've lived a pretty sick life for how old i am

courrupted · 2016-08-21T01:29:08+00:00

From reading your post, the most obvious problem that stands out to me is how you perceive yourself and others.

I have just turned 26, and am a self made member of the 1%

If you've heard the expression it's not what you say, it's how you say it, then you have half of the solution.

What's probably happening is that you come across as arrogant to people. You say:

While I consider myself humble and don't brag straight out, I do have plenty of nice things. A fancy car, a mansion, 12 weeks of travel a year.

And you are doing it in a mild (or very covert way), but people can pick up on it. They may not know what it is about you, but arrogance and humblebragging are a turn off, even when people can't identify what it is about you that rubs them the wrong way.

Would Warren Buffet say he is the member of the 1% when describing himself to people who don't know who he is? How could Warren Buffet describe what he does to you, so that it wouldn't make you dislike him? How do you really feel about having much more money than others? Do you feel superior to others?

Look at your inner game, understand your true values, beliefs, and motivations, and this problem will go away for you immediately. Everything else is a superficial patch-up that most likely still won't work 100%.

Hope that helps you. Good luck.

MindsEvolve · 2016-08-20T15:18:49+00:00

Congratulations on the self-improvement. You are clearly a one-man machine! I'd be curious to know how your wealth and lifestyle actually come up in the conversation, and at what point. For me, it feels very easy to think about peppering it in with a balance of intrigue and not too much intimidation. Perhaps, there is a deeper block preventing you from doing that?

Let's say you cold approach a girl on the street, and get through the opener and learn about her. Then, she asks what you do. It can't be that hard to just give her enough to be intrigued:

"I'm an entrepreneur, I basically wanted a different life than everyone else, because I'm not a huge fan of the typical 9-5."

Then, just talk about whichever of your businesses has the most conversational seeds that will lead to a greater connection with the girl (depending on what you're after with her).

So inspiring to hear about these changes you made for yourself. The tips are appreciated by the community as well!

Evan Magor - Honest Dating Coach - Anyone who wants to build an amazing dating life can schedule a FREE 30-minute skype session with me here: calendly.com/evanmagor

greenidiot314 · 2016-08-20T18:15:08+00:00

firstworldproblems

vflgbo · 2016-08-20T17:43:10+00:00

This is an off topic question, but I'm about to come out of business school and looking for opportunities that aren't your typical 9-5. If you don't mind my asking, what industries are your businesses in and how did you get started building those businesses to what they are today?

reduser80 · 2016-08-20T18:23:18+00:00

Sent you a pm!

YamFor · 2016-08-21T00:34:24+00:00

Can I get a job?

But seriously I would just be honest about your occupation and leave the ball in her court. If she wants to put you in the provider position and you don't want that, then leave her tbh. It'll tell you something about them as a person too.

Seriously tho, got any jobs going? I can scrub floors.

aswjacob · 2016-08-21T00:50:36+00:00

Just downplay what you do bro. Don't mention your wealth. Simple.

karaokeislife · 2016-08-21T20:12:09+00:00

Interesting post, thanks for posting.

I would say: meet women who are used to a luxury lifestyle. Find women who already know how to think rich. Women who have great ambitions and are doing well financially. Find women close to your range of financial wealth. I am sure they are out there. Good luck!

thefreeze1 · 2016-08-20T16:35:31+00:00

Mannn! I have this same problem. Own 3 businesses, 28, just started trying to get healthy, but I did get myself a Maserati last month to finally reward myself lol.

It's so difficult trying to explain what I do.

Thanks for making this post - I'm just as intrigued to find out what people think!

dancingonmyfuckinown · 2016-08-21T14:26:45+00:00

Holy Guacamole! I know this might be waaaay out of context, but how do you get to the top at your age? I'm very keen to know how'd you do it. If you don't mind, of course.

learnerbott · 2016-08-20T21:28:09+00:00

Not really a problem, women are shallow and love men who are shallow. You'll do fine.

Title	Being rich can be a problem! How do I explain a complicated career and significant wealth?
Author	onemorething2112
Upvotes	14
Comments	45
Date	August 20, 2016 2:32 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/4ypamn/being_rich_can_be_a_problem_how_do_i_explain_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/being-rich-can-be-a-problem-how-do-i-explain-a.1411189 https://theredarchive.com/post/1411189

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firstworldproblems