Pickup is painful.

TheMadHatterOwl · 2017-01-09T20:25:22+00:00

[permanently deleted]

ThorLives · 2017-01-10T03:39:03+00:00

Don't worry too much about it. Also, even when you get things right, you'll still get women who won't meetup with you again, or will tell you that "they're just not feeling it". (Just this week, I had two girls tell me that. One girl even told me that I was attractive, smart, and fun, but for some reason she just wasn't "feeling it".) Sometimes not getting the girl is just part of life. Don't dwell on it. There will be more that come along.

Baseball players can't dwell on all those times they struck out. Boxers can't dwell on all the punches they missed. Basketball players can't dwell on all the shots they missed. Part of getting good at this is learning to focus on the right things and not getting discouraged, just like part of becoming a good athlete involves not dwelling on their mistakes. Getting into that negative headspace is like walking through mud - it just makes everything more difficult.

asiasocialite · 2017-01-10T06:19:04+00:00

Hey,

Everyone that is good at pick up has been in the situation plenty of times. And the fact is, no matter how good you get at pick up it will keep happening. Its just a part of the pick up lifestyle. Its much like other high level competitive sports.

Every UFC fighter says if you haven't lost fights then you haven't been fighting long enough. Everyone loses a fight at some point. And it hurts and they feel let down. But the great champions sit down and watch the fight. They study what they did wrong and they make sure those mistakes don't happen again. To the great fighters its not about that one fight. Instead they think of their legacy and how they want to be remembered.

There is an old saying that goes "Sometimes by losing a battle you discover a way to win the war".

In every war there are many battles. Think of opens and conversations with girls as little battles. You have to battle your insecurities, her put downs and any awkwardness you might feel.

Sometimes you will lose and sometimes you will win.

However the great man focuses on the war! The war is you becoming a great man, meeting your dream girl and getting her, having tons of friends and leaving a legacy.

Lots of girls will get away but make sure that you keep growing and getting better and in the future less will get away!

Keep going dude. Shawn Cameron www.asiasocialite.com

letsgetrandy · 2017-01-09T22:15:10+00:00

Or you're experimenting with negs, push pull, qualifiers and it's miss calibrated and she takes it the wrong way

Don't use negs.

Not only was this always a weak and artificial tactic even when it was first introduced, but now it's been 10+ years and women have all heard of it and will recognize any neg attempt and turn it around on you in an instant.

Be your own confident, authentic, and challenging person, without any investment in outcomes, and you'll do fine.

Anyone been in that "one that got away" situation?

Yeah, when I was like 14. I'm 41 now, and plenty have gotten away. I really don't care and don't worry about it. The number of women who didn't get away is enough to have made me quite happy and quite busy.

Overnight_Delivery · 2017-01-09T20:25:27+00:00

wrote this this morning -

Giving the impression that you are going to try is more important than constantly succeeding because it forgives the lows / mistakes for the successes that will eventually randomly come. Then just take the patience for them to come and don't have any major issues.

Gotta regularly be making bold moves though.

Turlast · 2017-01-09T20:49:34+00:00

You can only go up from here. We all have that feeling when we come across a girl we really like. You'll be good.

PickNerd · 2017-01-09T21:34:33+00:00

Good, looking back I learn the most from my bad sets. It's a painful journey but it's worth it

Nickkeh · 2017-01-10T08:23:27+00:00

Hey man. About 3 months ago, I was where you are now. But look up r/ TheRedPill. Study it. Practice it. Live it. Do not be afraid of being out of your comfort zone. Just realize that there are billions of girls out there, and it is completely illogical to be scared of one. Do not pedastool them (place them high value above yourself. Also realize that YOU do not matter. Dont take the world too seriously and just have fun. Change your mentality from "how do I get this girl" to "let's see how far this goes."

WildernessTwo · 2017-01-10T17:01:52+00:00

That's normal when you get really into PUA.

Honestly, relax, stop "experimenting with negs, push pull, qualifiers, and calibration" and just fucking talk to her.

If you get laid, great, if not, it's not a career. Nobody cares if you're pulling or not. At the end of the day, the only person who cares about who gets pussy is YOU. Never forget that.

If it's painful, pull back and stop putting that kind of pressure on yourself. I used to be in the situation where I was going out every night and hitting up the bars to chase tail. Looking back on it, I was desperate and pathetic as fuck and everyone else could tell.

When I stopped pushing myself so hard and just relaxed and let things happen, my game improved by leaps and bounds because I was actually having fun instead of desperately heaving myself at anything with a vag.

Zen. Be Zen.

1z1z2x2x3c3c4v4v · 2017-01-10T17:01:54+00:00

Maybe this will help: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TY3rT2N1Ecs

FupeLiasco23 · 2017-01-10T18:12:58+00:00

Everything is an uphill battle until you do it enough. Keep on keeping on bro

weedmylips1 · 2017-01-10T22:01:54+00:00

The secret is not caring if you "lose" the girl.

bubba2match · 2017-01-10T05:18:33+00:00

Listen. It's her mistake if she doesn't text you back because of something you said. You can calibrate and recalibrate all you want in the moment, but in that past moment you were sure that what you sent was right. You should trust that your decision is a reflection of you, and don't be hard on yourself for making a "mistake". There are no mistakes, but thinking and believing makes it so. Just change your mind about yourself in the past. If you don't like yourself now, or you would like to handle things better in the future with this girl or the next, then put yourself back in that moment, think about what was said and why, learn from it, and decide how you want to change yourself to better reflect your own truth/desires/etc. If you find that after examining the moment, you were actually being honest, and she honestly(assuming she is honest) rejected that, great! You won't always get clear rejections, and you should be thankful for them when they come. Pain is in the body/mind of the beholder.

zeezeeskhotane · 2017-01-11T17:04:13+00:00

https://youtu.be/GdnYedTpToA

Aeon199 · 2017-01-10T06:28:41+00:00

What's the fucking use, man?

If you're not good looking and socially connected and have ambitions and shit, you're nothing to them.

Why would you want to actively seek out a creature like this? A terrible elitist creature who has no regard--utterly no concern--for the plight of any guy who isn't perfect.

You don't like gold-digging whores, and yet, that's what you're chasing. Think about it, man!

Title	Pickup is painful.
Author	TheMadHatterOwl
Upvotes	29
Comments	43
Date	January 9, 2017 8:06 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/5mzz29/pickup_is_painful/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/pickup-is-painful.1418370 https://theredarchive.com/post/1418370

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