How to get rid of negative attitude from redpill and incel

ThrowawayPUA · 2017-06-22T17:49:53+00:00

Start by thanking your ex, just to yourself. Thank her for the good times you had together, thank her for teaching you about yourself and how you are when you're in a relationship, and thank her for preparing you for your next girlfriend.

kikecasti · 2017-06-22T18:52:21+00:00

I'd recommend you the book Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway

One of the chapters talks about freeing from resentment from past relationships. It encourages the reader to picture the other person surrounded by a healing aura and enumerate experiences/stuff that she brought to your life and you are grateful about. Then wish her all the good in the world.

The book doesn't go in much depth in that topic, maybe another seddit user can give you a better book but I think it's a good start.

crash1082 · 2017-06-23T00:59:43+00:00

I've gone through this sort of problem for the exact same reason.

Hated my ex (still kinda do.) Became really bitter and pissed off towards a lot of things, mainly women. The RP is a little intense with the whole, every woman is a cheater thing. Unfortunately, they are also right in a lot of ways as well.

I'm friends with a lot of girls and being around them, hearing the things they say, watching the way they treat their bf's and whatever, it's not great. The worst part is all of them follow the same sort of shitty behavioral patterns and don't even realize it. What you need to realize is that all women are not this way. There are good ones out there. There are ones that won't cheat on you and won't make you hate women. Hard to find yes, but not impossible.

If you like some of RP, and you like seddit, you don't need to go all in and be a negative piece of shit. Choose what you believe in and follow your own morals. That way you know you're true to yourself. My biggest takeaway from reading all this stuff on reddit is inner game, and holding frame. If you've got that down nothing can stop you.

One thing that's helped me tremendously is meditation. I specifically use headspace and it has greatly reduced my bitterness.

I'm in a perfectly normal relationship now with a woman I respect, and she fully respects me. I've been around enough to be able to tell when someone is fucking with me or fucking around with other people. Some people in this world are legit, just need to weed through the crap first.

LRGMASS · 2017-06-23T01:44:55+00:00

I've been lurking sedddit and TRP lately, and my general consensus is that everything needs to be taken with a grain of salt. There are a lot of good ideas to draw from TRP as well as some over the top misogynistic shit that almost makes you question if they're just trolling everyone. As with anything, absorb what you can and formulate your own opinions.

Xanarxses · 2017-06-22T21:29:18+00:00

Honestly those communities are just pathetic.

Redpill, I mean I'm not sure what exactly it's about but I appreciate the political side of being redpilled.

But having the "truth" of all women are whores, they all cheat, they're all immoral, manipulative and only out for themselves.

I mean holy shit whatta truth. Like saying all men are marauding, rapist, warmongers with no desire but to fuck bitches and to be killin' fools.

Just realize they're ridiculous.

2017-06-23T04:43:20+00:00

The world doesn't hate you as much as you think. Bitterness isn't sexy.

admittingsecrets · 2017-06-23T06:45:58+00:00

Congratulations on deciding to change, that is hard.

My suggestion is start to looking at everyone as people. People with talents, flaws, hopes and nightmares. Not men, nor women - just human. That being said the world is unfair and most people put themselves before others using whatever gives them an advantage. It's instinctual, but does that make them horrible and incapable of prioritizing others? No. But it does hurt if they decide you are not worth it. (And in that case they aren't worth your time/energy either). Fufilling those needs in your partner, and they yours is part of a good relationship.

Next: One thing that has been repeated here - work on your talents, interests, and general quality of life. This base will give your new relationship more common anchors to grow from, and helps to form new interests as well with your new partner. :)

Lastly: Communication, that which forms the basis of an emotional relationship, is hard. There is an entire science dedicated to language and communication. My partner and I still make effort for good communication and have mistakes sometimes. My suggestion with this is to say exactly what you mean when discussing something. Even if it is hard to find the words. Ask if you are unsure. Give a summary of how you understand their perspective to be AND ask them to get into the habit as well. Don't make assumptions unless you are 100% sure of because its just their flaw/personality that you've come to accept & love about them. Even then- people grow and change a bit.

If they are worth your time and energy to date, then they are worth the effort of words to show you care about them as well as to voice your own needs.

In my relationship, we strive towards this and constructive criticism with the intent of supporting and caring for the other - not tearing them down (ie. abusive relationship). We've fought twice, maybe three times, in two years because of this.

Take with a grain of salt. I know what works for me probably won't apply to everyone. I just wanted to share because it works well for me, and might for you.

Stay steadfast. You got this.

4benny2lava0 · 2017-06-23T14:03:45+00:00

I been there and I can say that I needed to be. Sure I was angry and saw women in such a negative way; I was a negative person at the time too.

I got help, quit drinking, smoking, doing drugs, and looking at porn. I got treatment for my depression (its not your garden variety, off my meds I get chronic suicidal thoughts) and I attend therapy on top of constant work on myself.

Last night I walked up to a HB9 (get it?) and started talking to her. The funniest thing happened... She turned around, talked to me like a regular human being, and then the conversation was over we parted ways.

No More Mr. Nice Guy showed me that I have toxic beliefs in my core survival mechanisms. I think I am inherently defective, or bad and the book "Loving What Is" showed me that because I see myself that way I expect everyone else to see me that way.

I am finally starting to see some momentum start building and it is not because of game, strategy, books etc. I am getting older day by day and my internal issues are making me miss out on a lot in life and I'm fucking tired of it.

"Chad" is not what TRP thinks. TRP is men using excessive masculinity and manipulation to cover up deep seated insecurities. You need to show yourself compassion, love, and kindness before you will be able to be vulnerable enough to let someone else show you the same.

Clean house and you will do better at having company.

2017-06-22T18:54:08+00:00

The poorly concealed racism from those areas kept me away.

Read The Subtle Art of not Giving a Fuck by Mark Manson when you get the chance.

JaggedYellowPill · 2017-06-22T16:48:22+00:00

Good for you for breaking free of TRP.

Look at the stickied posts at the top of /r/exredpill.

Go to /r/TheBluePill and read about all the crazy shit that gets said in RP/Incel/MGTOW subs.

Find a good counselor to help you work through your anger issues.

iskip123 · 2017-06-22T18:26:12+00:00

Can someone describe what red pill is all about?

WalidfromMorocco · 2017-06-22T18:30:22+00:00

[permanently deleted]

allemande1979 · 2017-06-22T22:02:44+00:00

You were vulnerable to those points of view for a reason, you were really fucking angry. But you can't just pretend it's not there and see major changes. Acknowledge the anger in therapy and work through it. One day, you'll look at RP and incel and think "not for me" as you make out with whoever.

2017-06-23T00:10:52+00:00

Yeah, you need to not be angry at her any more. You need to forgive and let go of whatever you are holding onto. You are fine now that she is gone. In fact, you are better! Like someone else said, thank her for the good times you had and what she contributed to you.

2017-06-23T03:53:36+00:00

Once you realize the redpill is super radical and only take what they say lightly, you feel better

Vincent_Marcus · 2017-06-23T04:19:00+00:00

Love is war. You can learn from your defeat and develop better weapons and tactics for your next battle or you can be a sheep who believes the propaganda.

Sil5286 · 2017-06-23T05:26:53+00:00

"Being happy is a choice." --one of the top themes from a multi year survey done by a caregiver for people on their deathbed.

sort-of-single · 2017-06-23T15:41:02+00:00

Its a slippery slope! That's why I actively avoid all negativity and negative seeming subreddits or media in general. In fact i dont even watch TV or movies much anymore. While I was deep in the middle of my relationship, I would feed off of negativity which was destroying my health mental and physical. When I got out, I was in so much pain that I had expirienced that when the weight was lifted off my shoulders, I had an epiphany.

I basically realized that my psycho abusive ex had given me a beautiful gift. She had turned my weak beta pussyness into a man. She had completely embarassed and humiliated me so much I can game girls and not be scared. I kept researching psycho girls, and she was the same as all of them! I started to learn more about them and realized i cant take what she did to me personally.

Sure she cheated on me with a guy I absolutely hated and tried to get arrested, but I cant take it personally. Her brain is wired in a way i cant comprehend and it doesnt fucking matter. Shes only ruining her own life by fucking a lowlife who has no job or house or dog or car. I still have all my shit together. Its like...holy shit I was the awesome one the whole time.

Tl;dr - BE POSITIVE, avoid negativity. OWN AND ACCEPT your mistakes, they are gifts to make you a better person.

Title	How to get rid of negative attitude from redpill and incel
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	82
Comments	73
Date	June 22, 2017 4:36 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/6iuoau/how_to_get_rid_of_negative_attitude_from_redpill/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-get-rid-of-negative-attitude-from-redpill.1429342 https://theredarchive.com/post/1429342

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