The Night Out

I met a couple guys earlier this week at a Meetup, I really liked one of them, he was super chill and had good energy. I thought the other guy was weird, but the chill dude liked him, so I gave him a chance. We went out last night when I realized the weird dude was a "nice guy".

He was actually pretty good at approaching and he wasn't afraid to start up a conversation with someone, but he was just totally clueless socially. He made people uncomfortable and didn't even realize it. We went to a restaurant bar where they had an entree named after something sexual, so he asked the female bartender about it and she explained what it was. She brought over a different menu with more detailed descriptions of all the entrees, when he responded "Oh, I just wanted to hear you say it." She ignored the comment, but she heard it and it made her uncomfortable. Since she didn't give him the response he was looking for, he turned to the guy next to him and said, "I thought it was funny - cheers man" and the guy just looked at him before giving a pathetic cheers out of courtesy.

There weren't many people at the bar, so the bartender did come back and talk to us a little. I noticed the other guys were just asking her boring questions she probably gets every day, but I was making light of everything she said. I was the only one she was responding to emotionally. Two girls sat down next to us and "nice guy" immediately started talking to them and then gave them some of our food while they were looking at the menu. They didn't ask for it and I don't think they ate it.

Later on that night, two girls approached me asking to use my e-cigarette on the sidewalk. I could tell one of them was into me already and I had a good sexual vibe going while I was talking to her. Cue "nice guy," who comes out and is actually doing okay at first. The girls said they were hungry, so I told them to hold my arms and I would escort them. The chill dude went home for the night and "nice guy" just followed along behind us. At one point on the walk, "nice guy" takes off his jacket and puts it around one of the girls, again without asking, and asking more boring questions. Meanwhile, I'm picking on the girls, spinning around lamp posts, doing twirls on the sidewalk and just having an awesome time not giving a fuck if I'm making a fool of myself.

Whenever "nice guy" would say something that made them uncomfortable, I would remind them of a time constraint like, "By the way, we're only walking you to the restaurant, we're not eating with you. We're going to ditch you there." and then spike their emotions. One of the girls even said to me, "You're mean, kind of." with a huge smile on her face. Getting the feedback from the girl to verify that I was successfully controlling her emotions and balancing the emotional spikes to build attraction was great experience. The girls ordered food to go and then went outside while "nice guy" was ordering. They ordered a lyft while he was still inside. As they were about to get in the lyft, I said "Ok, double hug" - they both hugged me. Then I said, "Ok, double kiss" - they both kissed me.

Then I let them get in the car and go. As I was walking back to my car, I realized I just passed by a prime opportunity for a threesome and I didn't even bother to get their number! I was just having a great time, I wasn't even thinking about "logistics" or "pulling". It was definitely going to happen if I went for it, so I think that's great progress and I just need to keep making adjustments.

A few minutes after I bailed on "nice guy" at the restaurant, he called me and asked if I was still with the girls. Then he texted me asking if I got their number, implying he wants it and I should give it to him. He was just WAY too outcome dependent.

TL;DR Went out with "nice guy," who creeped people out, I handled the situation much better and achieved a better result.

The Lesson

As I observed "nice guy," I realized so many of my old habits and behaviors and started to really understand why people find it so disgusting. I totally deserved the way women used to treat me and this guy deserves the way women treat him. Being a "nice guy" sounds good - after all, you should be nice to everyone, send good vibes to everyone and get to know everyone without judgement. The difference is WHY you do it. I do it to make people feel good and to entertain myself; he does it for attention and to get a reaction out of people.

Part of me feels for this dude, he reminds me so much of the old me. Another part of me has no sympathy for him, if he wants to put on a facade and walk on eggshells all the time, he deserves nobody liking him.

The question is what to do next. I still really like the chill dude even though he didn't really talk much - at least he wasn't actively creeping people out. I would prefer to stay friends with the chill dude and weed the creeper out of my life. I invited the chill dude to my halloween party next week and creepy dude just kinda invited himself after hearing about it later. What do you guys think, should I try to provide some constructive criticism and help him improve? Or should I just massage him out of my life, so to speak?