I cant keep conversations over text

YesIStick · 2018-02-12T19:20:03+00:00

Someone once said and I wish I could find it but I’ve looked for years (if anyone can link me I will literally PayPal you $20) - “a key to conversations is sharing your internal monologue with others.” This revolutionized how I converse with people - and extends to text. There are different styles I’ve found - being mid-20’s I started in the era where every conversation starts with an opener (hey!/Sup?/Wyd?/Ay girl!) - but just do you. The problem with texting is you have way too much time to contemplate a response.

So my two tips are:

Share your inner monologue with others. “So the other day someone held the door open WAY too far away from me - but I refused to speed up, so the dude gets like all huffy... what is that?!” - just an example
Just quip off the first thing that comes to your mind as a reply once the conversation is flowing. Sometimes it is acceptable to let a conversation stream die off - give it some time - if you’re methodical set an alarm - and start a new one with a new topic. This can help if you’re completely lost where to start. Start with the basics, get more advanced, but keep it simple!

vitamann · 2018-02-12T20:36:00+00:00

Don't. Texting sucks, unless it's used for:

Sexting in between bed jumps
Setting up a date and time

You will only loose.

mceatalot · 2018-02-12T21:38:59+00:00

As has been discussed, texts are for setting up arrangements, NOT to hold conversations.

LingeringGnome · 2018-02-12T20:59:04+00:00

You're not supposed to keep conversation over text. Texting is for arranging dates. You get to know people in person.

I've had a couple women tell me, "Gnome, you're not like other guys. I don't feel obligated to have long text conversations with you, and I like that."

Guys who are texting all day are guys who can't keep beautiful women in their lives. They are likely texting women who have friend-zoned them (IE they're male orbiters) or their bros.

It's a pathetic way to live. A man should be working, or working out, or hiking, or reading, or engaged in meaningful activity.

When a man gets this right, his phone is lit up throughout the day from women (or a woman he actually likes). They chase him. And he's confident, experienced, and secure enough to understand he doesn't owe everyone an immediate response.

dondraper36 · 2018-02-13T02:47:36+00:00

Recently I have read plenty of articles on texting and how it should only be used for logistics. I believe that this is just a temporary solution. Why would you want to avoid texting by all means? To hide your neediness. You can follow all these rules, but after all you are still the same needy person trying to imitate the behaviour of non-needy and confident men. (By "you" I'm not referring to the OP)

These days I'm starting to lose my faith in the 'fake it til you make it' approach. It can work in a certain situation when you just need to cope with minor signs of unconfidence. In the long-run, however, you need to fundamentally work on self-improvement so that you don't even have to copy somebody else's lines, approaches etc.

TL;DR Forget about texting for a while. Not because it's only meant for setting up dates. Spend this time on working out, reading, learning something new, meditation and you won't even notice that your thoughts about how to write a few witty texts are gone.

Good luck, man!

airjones1 · 2018-02-12T19:25:42+00:00

I have the same problem I always use text to ask or answer a question not to have a conversation. If i wanted to talk to you I would just call. Idk my friends are the same way we never text each other just call and people think its strange because we're guys no problem being on the phone with each other for an hour. I just kind of gave up texting and I explain from the jump hey I like to call not text. Don't be offended if I dont respond to a text I just forgot or never saw it.

zfgee · 2018-02-13T00:35:37+00:00

You shouldn't be HAVING conversations over text. The phone is for setting dates, not getting to know one another.

vordster · 2018-02-13T00:08:01+00:00

Just make up stories, if she responds.. she likes you. If you don't like my answer, call her all the time. YMMV

__ManBeast__ · 2018-02-13T02:05:04+00:00

If it's a girl, DON'T BE HER TEXT BUDDY. Say hi, ask about her day, then make plans to meet. Nothing more. If you're acquainted, skip the hi.

If you're texting your friends, just text whatever. They're your friends for a reason, you don't need to impress them. Ask questions if you want, talk about your day if you want, send memes or talk gossip if it suits your fancy. There's no rules to texting. Just text whatever pops into your head and bullshit away with them

Its_strawberry_blond · 2018-02-13T17:41:10+00:00

Keep in mind what i am looking for. I don't enjoy meaningless hookups, so how i play the game changes a bit. It is fundamentally the same. But if your focused on scoring as many points as you can, your not focusing on getting good looks at the basket. My rules for texting convos- K.I.S.S.... Keep it stupid simple. if it can be said in fewer words... do it. avoid sarcasm. But you can throw in something witty for fun.

Don't be so rigid- Sedits has a lot of good qualities, it is great for teaching you how to express yourself in a positive way, encouragement, and keeping yourself positive . But, its biggest problem is how it encourages being rigid. Get flaked on once? fuck em, next. Only text for dates... blah blah. You know the situation better then anybody else. trust yourself. She flaked/ said maybe to a date? ok... Is she putting in effort in her snaps? Is she keeping the convo going? If she is responding well. Keep going. Don't respond immediately, and don't communicate like that everyday but maybe you just have to get to know her better before she goes out. That being said... End on a high note, on your terms. I don't like just leaving it on read right after a high note. I like to bow out, that way it removes some of the head games. But when you bow out, don't close the door for her to start it up with you.

ALWAYS be screening- this does two things. It keeps the topic on things you or she both care about and makes it at least interesting, AND you both figure out if your compatible. It also allows you to know if you she has time for a date.

Have fun... this is all for fun, don't worry about it. If she is even slightly interested, she will forgive/forget some of your small communication misgivings.

Additionally, a lot of this changes with age. some of your younger women may want to text more before a date. I am younger and people i am talking with grew up around phones, texting has been big since they were in middle school. Others... it came around in high school or after. They are less likely to enjoy texting and it may swing that way with people my age. Who knows. Point being, read the situation and don't invest to much.

cbh28 · 2018-02-13T16:21:40+00:00

I talk like I talk in real life, so it feels more real and I don't run out of things to say

Title	I cant keep conversations over text
Author	drews97
Upvotes	71
Comments	21
Date	February 12, 2018 5:40 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/7x2ga1/i_cant_keep_conversations_over_text/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-cant-keep-conversations-over-text.1441577 https://theredarchive.com/post/1441577

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