Be mysterious or be open?

Stevpie · 2018-04-04T23:52:37+00:00

I'd say be NATURAL. I mean, if she asks you a question about yourself, why wouldn't you answer her? That's dumb because she's trying to get to know you. So just be yourself.

jacksonvilles · 2018-04-05T07:57:21+00:00

LOL, I'll tell you something.

I've noticed that almost EVERY bit of advice when it comes to seduction has another large group of PUA's saying it's completely wrong.

It's almost getting silly now, to the point that there's no point in even attempting to 'learn' it!

There seems to be a new trend in the industry where PUA's are going out of their way to DEBUNK commonly held theories. This is happening now more than ever before! Funnily enough, I see RSD debunking THEIR OWN theories now! (often between different instructors). It's madness.

The more I read, the more I think there are no rules. There's nothing to really learn. Game isn't a skill. It's really just a matter of approaching in whatever way you want. Try to act confident. If she thinks you're good looking, you have a shot. She'll let you know. Escalate! If she doesn't think you are good looking, THAT'S basically why you didn't get her. It wasn't your 'game' or that you were too needy or too vulnerable or you used to wrong vocal tonality etc.. What with the 99% conflicting information, it's looking more like 'game' doesn't actually exist lol

It's maybe why i've always instinctively cringed when I read things like ''Did you 'use game' on her, bro?'' lol

screamscream30 · 2018-04-05T01:23:04+00:00

You don’t give her the impression of the mysterious serial killer vibe Be yourself If you are too open ,too early she may dump you If you are too mysterious, you’ll struggle to keep the conversation

Zoidberg22 · 2018-04-05T01:10:00+00:00

I've only really been open and vulnerable with one girl and she's a friend who I approached. I find it hard to do that with a girl until you build some trust

GuyFromDaStore · 2018-04-05T00:21:56+00:00

Be both. Women like both.

Fudgeworth · 2018-04-05T00:49:29+00:00

Whenever there is conflicting advice, my recommendation would be to try being mysterious with one woman and try being vulnerable with another.

I was vulnerable with my last girlfriend. A couple bad things happened in a short period to me and I told her about them. She ended up saying that I had a lot of 'blonde moments' recently. She owned a house and asked me if I was going to buy one. I told her I had too much uncertainty and didn't want to tie myself down for at least 5 years so I wasn't looking. I'm not sure if she liked that response.

I'm going to try out Corey Wayne's advice on my next girlfriend and reveal myself slowly.

phoenixLucifer · 2018-04-05T01:11:27+00:00

Choose the method you like, there's not a set in stone answer. Although some people will try and tell you otherwise which is bs, it's just like math 2+2=4 but so does 1+3, 2.5+1.5, etc etc

What s important is you choose a method you like because you relate more to it, that way it comes off more naturally rather than artificial.

I have done both, being mysterious works well but after doing it for a bit I get tired of playing the mysterious game. It just doesn't feel like myself.

I like Mark Masons ideas more, I just feel I get better more honest relationships.

But the choice is yours, so choose one and if it doesn't work go back and try the other one.

focus_flow69 · 2018-04-05T02:43:46+00:00

Here's a suggestion, why don't you be both at different times depending on how you feel? I personally find one of the most attractive traits is to have a consistent personality but don't be too predictable if that makes sense

Randall_Flagg_2 · 2018-04-05T04:26:05+00:00

Open but don't overshare, if that makes sense.

_Wim_ · 2018-04-05T03:32:41+00:00

DONT go around trying to be mysterious. You will attract a lot more people if you are open, inviting, carefree, and fun. If you try to morph yourself into being "mysterious" like James Bond, you'll just come across as weird and tryhard. Being "mysterious" is just the combination of being high status and non-needy. You don't need to stop being vulnerable to achieve that.

fvckCrosshairs · 2018-04-05T07:51:35+00:00

I can't understand how guys can take this man seriously with these dumb suggestions, its pretty obvious you need to be more open and bold. Deflecting questions will make it weird at some point and the girl will start to think things.

tab13092 · 2018-04-05T17:48:06+00:00

I think the idea is to balance it out, don't just tell her literally everything about you the first time around. Leave her wondering, but don't also withhold everything either. Because again, she obviously have surface level interest and wants to dive a bit deeper to see if yall connect. And it's hard to do that if you're not sharing one bit.

Generally, I'll answer a funny dodgy response at first to get a good laugh then follow up with my actual answer sometimes. If she asks, reciprocate with a response followed by your own questions.

Just go with the flow.

NoloRadio · 2018-04-05T20:39:46+00:00

Different women respond differently to these qualities. That said, I don't think they're ultimately in conflict with each other. Think of it this way: The point of vulnerability is to show that you're chill, you have options, you're not needy or overly invested. The point of being 'mysterious' is to stay intriguing enough to keep the girl's attention while getting to know her and building physical attraction.

In a way, this is kind of like the idea of conversational threads, but in reverse. You want to be vulnerable and open and chill, but move quickly enough, and mention interesting things in passing, that just happen to be part of your life, so that she has more questions, not less, by the end of a particular conversation, even though her emotional comfort level with you has gone up. By the way, by far the easiest way to do this genuinely and automatically is simply to be an authentically interesting person.

This is one reason why I think that weirdo intellectual/artist/nerd types often have a super good achievement curve once they learn to quash anxiety and learn the basics of attraction, because they're basically unlocking qualities they already had which are attractive to women, they just need to learn how to take advantage of those qualities, and frame them in the right way.

circlhat · 2018-04-05T00:20:24+00:00

. Mark Manson talks about how you need to be open and vulnerable to women.

No, vulnerable is open to attack, women often complain about men who open up and talk about weaknesses.

Honestly can we stop for one second using the female perspective, women like strong man, look at their fantasies and romance novels, 50 shades of grey.

Be mysterious or be vulnerable and be entirely open?

Be you, This is why I like PUA, it's more about here is some ice breakers to help you along, here is some reports on the results I got good luck, now days it changing yourself being a new person, because obviously you are a shitty human if you can't get women.

Fuck all that man, be you, "Hi, My name is ArchangelFuhkEsarhes, I don't do this very often but I think your beautiful, I would like to take you out to dinner sometimes to get to know you better, May I have your number?"

That easy

Title	Be mysterious or be open?
Author	ArchangelFuhkEsarhes
Upvotes	23
Comments	25
Date	April 4, 2018 11:47 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/89uuss/be_mysterious_or_be_open/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/be-mysterious-or-be-open.1444303 https://theredarchive.com/post/1444303

Comments