I've lost the desire to socialize. How do I fix that?

herculesuprising · 2018-07-29T13:32:39+00:00

I don't like dating either, it's a chore. So take matter in your own hands. Go hang out with people, both men and women, on your own terms. Do what you like, not the navel gazing bullshit you think is expected of you in dating.

Having a demanding job myself too, is indeed a burden on your motivation to socialize in a new environment. Have a think about working one day less in the week, to save up that energy. Secondly think about activities that do not involve internal thinking, so you'll train your brain more in a second direction too rather than work only. This can be, clubbing working out yoga mountain biking team sports whatever floats your boat, really.

You just have to realize that crafting a extraverted and social mindset requires training, practice and discipline too, just as building a career does.

My 2c hth

Uncle_Charnia · 2018-07-29T14:26:47+00:00

Play the game casually. Work out hard and smart; build your body. Develop your mind and heart. Be very kind. Change is certain.

herpasaurus · 2018-07-29T21:46:26+00:00

Meditation. Ten or any othet amount of minutes every day. Trust me.

RedPillAlphaBigCock · 2018-07-29T16:36:32+00:00

Join a sports team like ultimate frisbee / MMA or whatever you are into.

Go to every practice and in a few weeks / months you will make friends - meanwhile you get exercise and be productive

Alltherightythen · 2018-07-29T13:32:06+00:00

This is what bartenders are for.

pre_internet · 2018-07-30T01:00:10+00:00

Wow. You just lost two people who you were really fucking close to. Your heart is probably deeply homesick for them. I write this because your post comes off as very blue, and that’s ok, but it’s probably affecting you in ways you know and don’t even know. I’d imagine your heart desires to fill this void and it will in time.

In the meantime exercise does wonders for the body, mind, and spirit. I can not recommend it enough. That shit is pure alchemy.

Also when you’re dealing with people don’t be afraid of speaking your truth. You might be holding back with hopes of being amiable and likable, but that’s gonna wear you the freak out and make interacting with everyone exhausting. So be you. Turn that dial up to a volume that shakes your core and here’s what will happen. Some people will say no fucking thanks you creep, and that’s gonna hurt and make you question what you’re doing, but really is awesome because those are the people you don’t want in your life.. but here’s what else will happen. Some people will say fuck yes. This motherfuker gets it. I need people like this in my life, because this is my people. Keep fucking with those people who get your truth. Those relationships are the opposite of exhausting.

Remember, always give 100% except when donating blood.

BigDikAzn · 2018-07-29T16:02:34+00:00

I know your job is stressful. That being said, you probably don't have enough time for too much. But in the case that you do, I would suggest going a club. Book club, game club, whatever it may be. This definitely helps to expand the amount of people you know, while also allowing you to do it in a fun way! Best of luck man!

FarmerFred52 · 2018-07-29T15:52:56+00:00

I use ritalin.

wolfanyd · 2018-07-29T16:05:58+00:00

sounds like depression. Maybe look into therapy

gorn_the_lizard · 2018-07-29T21:12:09+00:00

First of all, is it a rut, really?

It might be that you really need a little time to yourself to reflect, recharge and de-stress. If you need a bit of time to yourself, learn meditation, do yoga, go jogging, learn the guitar, buy yourself a giant Lego set and build it, or any other thing that will have you doing a thing that makes you feel better, and doesn't need others.
Take a bit of time to flush out the blues with a hobby.

If you do feel that kind of stuff isn't working, and that it is indeed a rut that's stretching out without end, make sure it's not depression. Get counseling, take medication, find a thing that works for you to get you out of it. Once you're on your way to improvement, join a social club, hang out with friends more, invite your family for pizza sometime, go do a bit of fun social stuff. Don't overdo it either.

TheoreticalFunk · 2018-07-29T20:26:46+00:00

Be isolated for a while. Should take care of it.

ntermation · 2018-07-29T22:07:11+00:00

I go through this, and sometimes it seems like- the lack of desire to socialize isn't necessarily coming entirely from me. Like you say- it feels mentally draining to socialize with people, and I feel the same way. Until I don't. I suspect part of the reason is the people themselves. When I find people I want to be around and socialize with, the mental exhaustion from even just thinking about hanging out with them goes away. Because they are not hard to be around. So maybe, in your case it will be the same. Find different people, and you may find that it wasn't you not wanting to spend time with "people" it was the people you were spending time with, were hard to be around.

chronosthetitan · 2018-07-30T04:16:06+00:00

had this happen after a breakup, my suggestion is simple. go out to eat and small talk till your ready to to start being social again.

phileo · 2018-07-29T16:16:27+00:00

I'm in a similar situation. It's not that big of a deal, though. Just reflect if you are unhappy about this situation. If your situation is causing you pain, you should seek out a therapist (or someone to talk to). If you are ok with your situation (like I am) why change anything? For an introvert it is normal to avoid people, since they can easily drain you.

purpledad · 2018-07-29T17:34:20+00:00

Remember it's temporary and work to get better.

WerkinAndDerpin · 2018-07-29T17:38:32+00:00

Maybe try going to a concert or sporting event- something where you’re around people having fun but there’s no pressure to socialize if you don’t want to. I’m in a similar situation and sometimes I’ll convince myself I don’t want to do fun things because of the effort required, but once I’m there having fun I realize my brain was just being an asshole. Doing something fun with others can also help kickstart you to be more social in general and hopefully get back to dating.

Step-Father · 2018-07-30T02:34:17+00:00

hang with people you like being with in social settings, smile a lot people for some reason get very interested when you smile a lot

BallsOfSteeeeel · 2018-07-29T18:05:10+00:00

Find a hobby that interacts with people a bit more that you like to do?

Shonk_Lemons · 2018-07-29T16:36:09+00:00

You live alone and have what sounds like a decent paying job.

I have no job and live with my parents.

Appreciate what you take for granted.

If I were you and had a house to myself and the means I would be fucking a different chick every night, going to bars, working on my game and slamming pussy in my bachelor pad left right and centre.

Title	I've lost the desire to socialize. How do I fix that?
Author	raimondi1337
Upvotes	153
Comments	35
Date	July 29, 2018 1:25 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/92uqop/ive_lost_the_desire_to_socialize_how_do_i_fix_that/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/ive-lost-the-desire-to-socialize-how-do-i-fix-that.1450756 https://theredarchive.com/post/1450756

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