Being outcome independent, projecting high status and not giving a flying fuck.

Eskeeetiiit · 2019-01-19T20:56:02+00:00

Is it at all possible that the reason you lose interest in her after winning her over is because you were never truly interested in her as a person in the first place? My theory is you found her attractive, wanted to fuck, did fuck (or whatever happened once winning her over) and after that you realized she’s not an interesting person / someone you’re attracted to; merely a pretty face.

If, however, you actually liked her personality and not just her looks I have no idea what to say but I believe you liked her looks originally, won her over, found out her personality, and subsequently lost interest because you didn’t like her personality + her looks weren’t enough to keep you interested any longer

erect_sean · 2019-01-20T00:24:05+00:00

I think the whole "not giving a fuck/outcome independent" mentality is to counter the usual mentality that guys have when seeing a girl that they are attracted to: putting her on a pedestal and making the interaction a big deal. It's the proper mentality to have at first when you open but eventually you have to balance it out with giving a certain amount of a fuck because you want that interaction to go further (another date, sex, relationship, whatever).

skatinislife446 · 2019-01-19T20:57:06+00:00

I'm interested in hearing other's opinions on emotional connection. Without it, I'm usually bored in 3-6 months unless the sex is consistently improving. There's also a fine line with being emotionally available and sensitive to **her** emotions versus opening up about your own. If you search through r/askwomen about emotional availability almost none of them even realize that they're asking for men to be more open to helping them with their own emotions, not the other way around.

It's hard to balance that emotional connection while remaining high value and a constant source of strength.

BigDickEnergy123 · 2019-01-19T20:36:48+00:00

Everytime I've tried to form an emotional connection with a girl I recently started talking to she's usually gone within a few weeks

So there's that 🤷

jusdiffy · 2019-01-20T04:19:13+00:00

Definitely. I understand that too. You either find true love, or you play games. You either let your heart out or you suppress your heart.

dusara217 · 2019-01-20T04:31:29+00:00

In Robert Greene's book ,"the art of Seduction," one of the things that he pointed out is something that every great seducer throughout history, from Casanova to Lord Byron to Soren Kierkegaard, kept in mind: picking the right girl to seduce. Just going around and seducing any girl you meet on the street quickly becomes boring, because your selection criteria are wrong. People tend to look for a hot girl, as opposed to a genuinely interesting person. If you want to actually have fun with it beyond a single night, you need to pick a girl that you find genuinely interesting, not just a girl with nice tits or a pretty face.

Just my two cents, though, others may disagree.

feesih0ps · 2019-01-20T11:32:56+00:00

Ah yes, the old "I'm only attracted to girls who don't want me". I've been there. I'm still there now. Unbelievably hard problem to kick. Possibly you're setting your sights too low, but also possibly you just haven't met the right girl

tuturaro · 2019-01-20T12:35:38+00:00

Same happened after I broked up with my ex, and was still happening until recently (like this week) after 1 year we broke up.

I found out that this is just coming from a mentally of scarcity. Part of you just wanna use the girl to fill a tiny little void inside of you so you can feel good by conquering her. But since you never were truly into the girl to start with, you lose interest the moment you prove yourself that you can fuck her if you wanted to. Try seeing the girl as someone to be grateful for and get interested in what she has to offer (the experiences, the emotions, etc). This way also, getting rejected or not you will still be grateful and will be able to truly start enjoying her as a human being and not just a a hot girl with a vagina.

wowzacowza · 2019-01-20T21:41:38+00:00

Game is just a tool. It's just something that can be used to help make a particular result happen. It's not a philosophy, it's not a lifestyle, it's a tool. You have to be the judge of when and how much to use that tool to get the results that you personally want. The really skilled guys out there who have been doing seduction for years and years have generally reached the point where they've been able to just incorporate the aspects of game that suit them into their personalities. Whatever point they want to be at, they just use game over and over until it gets them where they need to be then they hold there.

It's up to you how you want to shape your own outlook. Girls are all boring, shallow bitches not worth your time unless it's for sexual satisfaction, or girls are human beings with thoughts and personalities, and who have insights and connections to offer.

Everybody has their own right and wrong answer to that. You have to find yours.

small_lad · 2019-01-20T05:39:09+00:00

i don’t think it’s possible to be outcome independent. if your truly outcome independent, you would of never approached in the first place.

TotesMessenger · 2019-01-20T07:15:54+00:00

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Trowawaycausebanned4 · 2019-01-20T11:50:30+00:00

I agree with you

Frya · 2019-01-20T15:27:41+00:00

I get you. You got to a point where you can make average girl submit to you, and you are satiated.

Push the boundaries even harder with each girl. Condition yourself for their submission. Explore their fragile submission. You will be surprised how much they can give you if you push, and at the same time you will find out that its them that are getting more out of it. They crave submission, they want to swim in it.

And also this satiated "hot guy blaze" state is needed if you want to get 10/10 girls. Win over 2-3 8/10 girls in order to get 10/10 like you truly don't care.

Go after girls that will push your boundaries. Ones that when you see them still give you a bit of stress, because they are so hot, or you know they are meeting guys with higher status than you, or girls that are crazy smart and more educated than you or earn far more than you. Getting girls like this will change you.

It also might be a case that you are seducing just to feel that buzz and excitement of it. Getting girls is also about connecting with them, relaxing, giving them something out of you. I know that getting a hot girl feels awesome, but if you rely on it to feel good with yourself, then it might be an ego problem - you need to fuel yourself with success of seduction instead of having pleasure in connecting with girls.

Rocky__c · 2019-01-21T00:08:00+00:00

WRONG. Even though this sub's focus IS woman and how to get them, the focus should be in ourselves first. Yes, some of the things you read here work, but most of them would work anyways if you said: "Poopy butthole" with enough confidence.

Work on yourselves first, and once you feel like you are on top of the world, women will come after you.

rMustang18 · 2019-01-21T00:34:02+00:00

These comments reminded me of someone saying that woman are emotionally crazy by default and need not someone else as unbalanced as them,they already got their girl friends.So I do agree with you,the problem is problably the personality of the girl you are going out.Since that,just break with her and try to keep being a friend or sex buddy.

Title	Being outcome independent, projecting high status and not giving a flying fuck.
Author	theboldmind
Upvotes	178
Comments	41
Date	January 19, 2019 8:09 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ahppdn/being_outcome_independent_projecting_high_status/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/being-outcome-independent-projecting-high-status.1460815 https://theredarchive.com/post/1460815

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