GF called me manipulative so I dumped her...

DarkStarNovember · 2015-02-23T21:10:18+00:00

"I was stating things a matter of fact about how your behaviour makes me feel. I don't want to manipulate you. We should break up now because this is no longer enjoyable for me".

Good fucking job

I appreciate this is a shitty way to break up, but you kind of have to hold frame right in a situation like this if someone calls you out?

You held frame like a pro. You told her what would happen if she didn't change her attitude, you weren't being manipulative at all imo. Breaking up is always shitty no matter how it goes down.

I have not been enjoying the relationship for a few months now anyway.

There's that point in a relationship where everything just feels wrong and that's when you know it's ending.

A little man support would feel good. Our relationship lasted 2 years.

Maintain frame, don't contact her, work out, eat well, keep clean. Don't feel bad about what happened you did what was necessary if you weren't happy.

fakeAk · 2015-02-23T21:11:58+00:00

I have not been enjoying the relationship for a few months now anyway.

There you go. If she didnt bring joy to you life, you drop her. There are plenty others who will be better.

thenarrrowpath · 2015-02-23T21:37:43+00:00

I hope you don't live with this girl, because that's going to suck kicking her out or you having to move. Good job though on standing up. Pssh, literally cooking her dinner and she gets all up-ity with you for expressing your feelings (like you're encouraged to do by modern society/feminists) and then tells you that you're "manipulative"? Fuck that noise.

machimus · 2015-02-24T00:38:06+00:00

You did the right thing, mayng. It's better to cut the cord when you figure out she's going to be the anchor trying to drown you for the rest of your life. I guarantee it won't get better if you got married...it'd get way, wayyyy worse.

I dumped my second to last serious gf because she would just be miserable all the time. I'm talking worst-day-of-her-life three times a week. Tried to gently, then firmly, insist she exercise some emotional fortitude to pick herself up, but she just broke down crying every time with no intention of trying at all. I hate seeing anyone do that to themselves, it's not healthy.

Devvils · 2015-02-24T07:55:27+00:00

So you drove her to work & you are manipulative?! Talk about a sense of entitlement! This was a train wreck & you jumped at the right time.

asd1100 · 2015-02-24T06:37:34+00:00

I appreciate this is a shitty way to break up, but you kind of have to hold frame right in a situation like this if someone calls you out?

dude, this is not /r/relationships, we support men that stand their ground and don't put up with bad behavior. You did good. Don't be shady next time, that was what she called you out on, the passive agression and "hints". Just tell her, be open to confrontation and accept it as a normal healthy way to resolve conflict.

Our relationship lasted 2 years.

you have bigger balls than a lot of lurkers around the manosphere. Not get out there and find something to fuck.

ymnik · 2015-02-24T13:20:56+00:00

You sound like you came here to see if the decision you made was right.

BeyondDedication · 2015-02-23T21:14:04+00:00

You're not manipulative, you're being direct. She's acting entiltled, I imagine she isn't too bad looking... She did you a favor, wait until she starts gaining weight.

I've been in that exact sitation... recently. My relationship ended less than 2 months ago, she left me, but I forced it upon her. I gave her the option, either carry your weight, or I will constantly bring it up until you feel liked you NEED to leave. How hard is it to not throw all your shit on the kitchen table every day, seriously? I will fucking move mountains for you and you can't even handle this one responsibility?

Her body was amazing, and the sex was great, but constantly being disrepected by her lack of effort or dedication to our household will wear you thin. She wanted a free ride, not from me.

I ignored all of the red flags, never again. Father issues, ankle/wrist tats, clit piercing, former bartender, the list goes on. Amazing body, fucked like a pornstar though. Now my main LTR criteria is work ethic. No 9-10s please, give me an 8 who goes above and beyond to please her man. Consider this experience a valuable life lesson, I did.

NiftyDolphin · 2015-02-24T16:23:44+00:00

She was working you from Victim Mode and decided to up the amperage to obtain the next level of privileges.

You stood your ground. She failed. Good for you.

Now that you know her objective and the means she uses to obtain it, you'll know to stay the fuck away from her.

exmushatesils · 2015-02-23T22:03:11+00:00

Long story short, she gets overwhelmed working a 9-5 job and then when she gets back from work she just becomes a vegetable and is super lazy.

Another tragedy of the modern world. Your girl would have thrived under 'the patriarchy', could have gone to College for her 'mrs' degree, or worked as a secretary until a man took her off the market to raise a family, the only full time job she wants. It's almost comical that women wanted the option to work, but through over flooding of the job market and resulting deflated wages got stuck with the obligation to work: their own personal nightmare. Even the girls who see beyond feminism's cultural programming and just want to settle down young and be taken care of while they raise a family often get caught in a cycle of being pumped n dumped because feminism's parallel opening up of the SMP unleashed men's inner caddishness and now the majority of attractive men chose to spend most their relationship energy on promiscuity, and only occasionally on LTRs.

A little man support would feel good. Our relationship lasted 2 years.

It's tough, we are natural pair bonders over time, after 2 years it's going to hurt. Concentrate on yourself, use your new found free time to improve yourself, game some young hotties, and move on with your life. Good luck. You know she is going to try and come back to you right?

kingofpoplives · 2015-02-23T21:40:22+00:00

Long story short, she gets overwhelmed working a 9-5 job and then when she gets back from work she just becomes a vegetable and is super lazy.

This is so damn common. Women should never have started working full time jobs like men. They can't handle it, they get burned out and depressed, the rest of their life bears the brunt of their unhappiness.

This is more manageable if you don't live together. You can let her be tired and depressed by herself during the week. Live and learn, my friend. Your next one will be better I'm sure.

C00l_Guy · 2015-02-23T23:40:24+00:00

Good. You dodged a bullet the fact you were doing housework is pretty emasculating.

Next chick make sure to tell her you expect housework to be done for you.

shitonmycock · 2015-02-24T13:08:04+00:00

Interesting. It'd help to know your ages.

Some women aren't really square with a 9-5 job, and they want the man to be the main breadwinner so they can play housewife and have kids - y'know, traditional nuclear family shit.

So it's probably not just that she's overwhelmed by the 9-5 job, she's also probably feeling general disillusionment about it. Like, "Is this it? For real? I can do this shit by myself, but I have a boyfriend I'm living with so something's supposed to happen with that, right? Right?"

So what happened is you expected her to be like a dude, like you're living with your best dude-friend. Dual-income and both pitch in to keep the ship operating smoothly. Is that what you really want, and is that what she really wants? It might've been what you wanted, but I doubt she wanted it that way; hell, it's obvious because she wasn't pitching in to keep the ship running.

If that's what you wanted out of a cohabitation gig with a woman, you've gotta be up front about it asap and you gotta lay down the law about it asap. Sounds like you weren't up front, you just had "expectations" and then you didn't lay down the law soon enough when your expectations weren't met. So that's why she called you manipulative.

So next time, know what you want (better than you did this time) and communicate it better.

Title	GF called me manipulative so I dumped her...
Author	MoneyStatusLooks
Upvotes	30
Comments	54
Date	February 23, 2015 8:41 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2wwrg4/gf_called_me_manipulative_so_i_dumped_her/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/gf-called-me-manipulative-so-i-dumped-her.146447 https://theredarchive.com/post/146447

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