Got an uninterested girl to agree on a 2nd date. How do I proceed?

SlowCivicSi · 2019-09-03T02:19:10+00:00

Honestly, it doesn't sound like she's not interested depending on how old you guys are. If she's anywhere between 18-25 that's just how they are. Girls like to learn your nuances through texting and social media etc etc before they hang with you, it's just how it is and you just have to deal with it lol

Yeah you could stop talking to her all together and justify it with "well if she wants to hang out with me, she would hmu" but honestly that's just setting yourself up for failure imo

YOU LOSE NOTHING by texting her, remember that. Showing interest isn't a bad thing, just don't shove it down her throat. She wants to feel you out, that's normal. Push and pull is okay, just don't take it super seriously, and no offence but you probably just aren't that important to her. It takes time

CD_Johanna · 2019-09-03T01:44:03+00:00

I think the question is, why would you waste time on a girl who feels lukewarm about you?

Don't get desparate man.

well_imaguy_sooo_ · 2019-09-03T03:07:54+00:00

She’s talking to other guys are chances are things arent going that well with them rn and you’re her convenient back up plan

jstnwbbstr · 2019-09-03T01:49:06+00:00

Cancel and go get some grateful pussy

jimmiepop · 2019-09-03T01:20:44+00:00

I suppose that as you already had a 1st date with her you know her a little bit more now, so take her to a place you think she will like, and just be yourself bro, be interested on her but also let her know you... I know it sounds like a cliche/shitty tip but when you really have chemistry with someone things just flow.

JuanOnOne · 2019-09-03T10:56:57+00:00

Damn everyone here is so butt hurt. I’m surprised by the reaction of this sub. There’s a thousand reasons she might have gone cold, who gives a fuck. Even if it was because she was talking to another dude, who cares. People here are acting like she has to make you the number 1 priority after 1 fucking date.

Take this as an opportunity to try something completely different. Obviously you didn’t create quite the chemistry you think you did. Think about what you did/how you behaved on the 1st date and what you can do better/change on this one.

Now for some advice. I think you need to give her back a taste of her own medicine. Act disinterested in her (careful with this), challenge her: if she says something you don’t agree with tell her, make her qualify herself to you: say what you like/expect from a girl. You were probably not creating enough tension on the first date, you made yourself too easy she knows she can have you whenever she wants.

2019-09-03T14:14:59+00:00

Wow, this thread has produced a lot of interesting replies. Here's my 2c. First, it's a bad frame to go into the date thinking "how do I get her interested in me again?" If she's on a date with me, I assume she's interested. And from there, I focus on EXPRESSION rather than IMPRESSION. Funny enough, by operating this way, you end up being more likely to make an impression anyway. Second, I'd wager some of her flakiness has to do with the "making out in her car for at least 15-20 minutes." Assuming you're out of college, in my experience, if you're making out with a girl that long, you should've just pulled to a sex location and closed the deal. She's ready, and continuing to make out kills the sexual tension and gives away the game. There's an additional issue where you might even get some of her clothes off and get to third base but don't go all the way and then she feels buyer's remorse. To mitigate some of this, it's either I kiss a little (or occasionally not at all) on a shorter date and then plan on meeting her for a second date where the logistics are more in my favor, or I have a longer date where we make out for a bit and then I pull. Last night I took a girl to two venues. At the second, we made out. At that point we'd been together about 2.5 hours. Then I pulled to my place. So assuming the girl does show for Date 2, keep all this in mind. If anything, I'd keep my distance physically at the beginning. Put the past behind you and this time close the deal!

Blakestone0 · 2019-09-03T01:52:12+00:00

Why do you want to continue with someone that is not excited about you? Move on there are plenty of women that can match with you in a better way

lanyardequine · 2019-09-03T01:16:07+00:00

Just make sure you don't call her or text this week. If you do, make sure you dont mention the date. You want her to basically think you've forgotten about it, and to think you'd only forget if there was some other girl you're trying to bang, or with friends, etc. Inevitably, her fear that you're possibly too good for her will bring on depression, followed by resolve to show you she's more than good enough.

2019-09-03T01:16:11+00:00

Have the 2nd date at your place. Since it looks like she’s being flakey before the date even starts

sharkaim4 · 2019-09-03T02:52:53+00:00

Mate fucking leave her. I did the same mistake. Never again.

ezsqueezeey · 2019-09-03T04:44:28+00:00

honestly would appreciate this set up for a second date. i can be a bit shy and usually let my own brain go wild on itself and shut down any future partners. So if you came back a bit later (FEW WEEKS WAS A REALLY GOOD TIME FRAME) and gently offer up again then i’m a lot more likely to feel secure in knowing that you mean it and are interested. i know i’m unfair but it’s equally as self sabotaging as it is sabotaging ig

seddit_doneit · 2019-09-03T15:17:21+00:00

She wants you to fuck her and move on. Do it, as there won't be a third date.

2019-09-03T01:55:09+00:00

Why would to take a girl on a date that is not interested in you? Your the prize not her.

Also go read the book Models by Mark Manson

jstnwbbstr · 2019-09-03T05:35:48+00:00

Good money after bad. Your premise is faulty. I couldn’t advise you in good conscious. 2.5 billion women out there. Your myopic view of her is based on a bad story that you are telling yourself. I don’t know what that story is but bro, isn’t that the point of this group?

2019-09-03T00:43:10+00:00

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2019-09-03T12:12:55+00:00

Duude nooo , you’re the backup don’t do it

devilkingx2 · 2019-09-03T12:54:29+00:00

The fact that she agreed to the second date means she has enough interest to make it worth trying. But don't do anything stupid in an attempt to raise interest, just try to avoid anything you might've done beforr to screw up her potential interest.

Although I'd never suggest double texting a girl who ignores something that demands a response, certainly not making a third attempt after that either.

Anyway, work your magic on the date you shoot your shots as long as the court is open, but don't waste a lot of time energy or money. And definitely do your best to escalate.

NewtypeJ · 2019-09-03T01:54:59+00:00

Yea, make it something you find fun and invite her. Recently I decided to try this by inviting a girl to a kickboxing class. It took the stress off of me to try and sleep with her on the first date, she was in shape so she actually enjoyed it, and I got a second and third date out of it. I find that I tend to get bored with dates because its the same thing with different women 2 to 3 times a week. Doing something that you enjoy or you needed to do anyway will make it so you don't waste your time. If everything about her is accurate though, she wasn't hooked by the first sate which is fine. You can recover, just make it something you were going to do anyway.

Cybralisk · 2019-09-03T03:55:06+00:00

Yea don't get your hopes up I can almost guarantee she is going to cancel or ghost you before friday, I've been through this more then a few times with uninterested flaky girls.

plaguemaid · 2019-09-03T09:40:17+00:00

Have some self respect OP, throw the whole bitch in the trash and move on. She is just seeing how much shit you will put up with. Even when you think this relationship is “working out”, she will cheat on you at the drop of a hat for somebody who she is more attracted to.

You have to understand; the vast majority of girls are male attention addicts, and they will keep you and other guys around as long as you keep supplying their fix.

tresor711 · 2019-09-03T03:46:10+00:00

If you made out you should probably call them back the day after or day after that, otherwise it cools off too much and it becomes impossible to follow up. If you really like her and want to keep seeing her then don't wait, keep her in your loop.

2019-09-03T02:43:59+00:00

If a girl goes on a date with me she wants to fuck me. I think about that fact when I'm on dates.

Title	Got an uninterested girl to agree on a 2nd date. How do I proceed?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	161
Comments	69
Date	September 3, 2019 12:20 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/cyxewl/got_an_uninterested_girl_to_agree_on_a_2nd_date/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/got-an-uninterested-girl-to-agree-on-a-2nd-date.1477632 https://theredarchive.com/post/1477632

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