Rant:

Everything is friendly at the moment. No talk of reconciliation. The last time I brought it up was about a month and a half ago and I won’t bring it up again.

I’m in the blessed “f-it” stage of grief at the moment. This morning I had a mini-epiphany, where I just saw the whole thing as a detached observer. Holy jeez, this is pathetic.

Making dinner last night and she left just as I was finishing up. Our teen said that mom had just left, but to wrap it up and put it in the stove. Of course, I know where she was going. It was closing time at work, so she was going meet her dude.

I looked at the bank charges on the joint account this morning and saw yet another dinner for two on the card from a fast food restaurant. From what I’ve deduced from patterns of behavior (so many anti-aging creams, lifting balms, etc), he’s a good bit younger than her, and I got a good chuckle out of the thought that she picked him up a happy meal.

From all of the sneaking, pretty sure he’s married. And from an offhand comment, he’s got a houseful of kids.

As a detached observer: All of the sneaking. The after work parking lot meetups. The lunches and dinners for two that she’s paying for. I hate to use this word, because it sounds so “superior”, but, Jesus, what a couple of losers. She’s working part time and is buying his food? The secrets. Two people cheating on their partners and putting a wrecking ball through their families. With someone they work with. For this life that they’re living? So many ways this can go sideways. It can’t be satisfying. Dopamine is a helluva drug, I guess.

I’m still waiting on what her next steps are. I’m over it. I have to say, if this is the dream life that she was hoping for or even the first steps toward it, it’s kind of sad. I don’t know this person.