Men in their 50s…..if you could what advice would you give to yourself when you just turned 40?

ButWhatOfGlen · 2024-05-01T19:51:23+00:00

Make sure you start doing things that make you happy, if you haven't already.

Money comes and goes, happiness is much more important. Go on walks, smell the roses, take up photography, or dance classes, or yoga, or travel to other countries, or learn to play the piano etc etc. Do NOT make women your focus... EVER.

ggleblanc2 · 2024-05-01T19:17:08+00:00

Im 68. Your 40s are when you need to take your health more seriously. Regular doctor visits. Pay attention to your diet and make any necessary changes.

Your career should be established. You didn't mention what you do, so I can't offer any specific career advice. Work on your people skills. "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie is a great start.

You don't mention the ages of your kids.

If you're married, try to maintain open and honest communication with your wife. If you're not married, don't get married.

fart_huffer- · 2024-05-01T20:27:58+00:00

OP any advice for someone turning 30?

Scarce12 · 2024-05-01T22:25:07+00:00

If you work at a large company, be careful with how your employer is causing health issues. Male disposability is real in the corporate world.

Again and again, I've seen that if an employer is causing health issues onto a man, nothing is done about it.

Decades ago, I accidently mentioned a health issue at work and our female HR staff quickly got paperwork done about it, why? Because they had a guilty mind - they knew work was causing health issues and was an ongoing issue they had absolutely no concerns over it, except that they helped the women push back or find other work in the company.

slipkid556 · 2024-05-01T22:10:45+00:00

DO NOT GET MARRIED

NeoKlang · 2024-05-02T00:24:58+00:00

Weight management is counting calories, working out for cardio, strength mobility and flexibility, comparison is a thief of joy, women are good manipulators and pretenders

TredHed · 2024-05-01T20:37:35+00:00

throw all the money you can into retirement
stop trying to keep up with folks materially.
- Take great care of what you have now.
  - Gotta beater car? keep it clean and humming doing all the regular maintenance. (a friend might have a nice new car, but how much are they going to need to work to pay for it, let alone maintain it)
Lift weights and do some kinda cardio
let go of drama, enjoy peaceful mind
go to therapy

ttlx0102 · 2024-05-01T19:14:35+00:00

Take care of your physical health. Lose weight, get an exercise program started, go to the doctor, eat right.

Stop drinking. Don't smoke. Stop doing drugs.

Create a budget and stick to it as much as possible. I use "goodbudget" because it's on my phone and I track my spending each day. You will never hit your budget, but you will be FAR closer to your goals compared to 'winging it'.

Life is about relationships. Stuff won't make you happy. Enjoy the stuff you like with people. Build relationships.

Spend time with your family. You will never regret that. You will regret spending late nights at work.

wilsonreeves · 2024-05-01T22:06:03+00:00

Stop drinking alcohol and stop eating most all sugar products.

kochIndustriesRussia · 2024-05-01T21:19:59+00:00

Get divorced. Now.

63daddy · 2024-05-01T19:22:51+00:00

In terms of gender issues, not a lot. I knew most of the biases men faced and was taking fairly reasonable steps to deal with it by the time I was 40.

The one thing that comes to mind is to have gotten a vasectomy sooner. I was extremely confident I didn’t want kids by my early 40s, so it’s something I should have taken care of sooner. Someone tricking you into getting them pregnant can be a life changer and it’s easy and cheap to ensure this can’t happen. I think 40 is an especially vulnerable age as many women you may date are feeling that biological clock big time.

Another is that if you haven’t yet given serious thought to retirement planning, including the potential to retire early, you really need to get on it.

I think 40s is a time where it’s easy to kick back and get into a rut, so think about what’s important to you and make a plan to make those things happen. Similarly, stay in shape and take care of your health. Your days of relying on your youthfulness to keep you healthy are diminishing. Many of the health issues people start experiencing in their 50s and 60s are driven by lifestyle choices in their 40s. Don’t wait until you have a bad back, arthritis, type 2 diabetes, etc. to start thinking about your health. Take steps to prevent those things starting now.

Yung4Yrs · 2024-05-02T04:51:13+00:00

Establish a lab benchmark of what your Testosterone levels are. If your BMI is over 25, get a glucose tolerance test also. More so if any diabetes/heart disease in family tree.

Make damn sure you understand that YOU matter. If your happiness and satisfaction in life is being sacrificed to keep someone else happy, almost for sure something is very wrong.

Just for the record, I am 71. 4+ yrs into the best relationship I've had with a woman in my life. She's a career pediatrics nurse 18 yrs younger than me and we are very active in physical intimacy.

Added note: DO NOT get a vasectomy without reading the horrible pain stories from procedures gone bad after the fact. Then if you wanna take the risk it's on you. I sure ain't gettin' one.

morganmckinley · 2024-05-02T05:38:01+00:00

Value your health without being afraid to live a little but don’t ignore semiannual check ups, easy on the vices, get regular exercise and above all I would recommend you identify the stress in your life and seek a way to eliminate them as much as possible.

It’s worse than smoking and it leads to heart attacks and so many other things that harm you physically, mentally and every other way. Exercise can help but it is the toxic people in your life, even if it’s your immediate family and long time friends that regularly bring negativity into your life that you should seek to remove either substantially or completely.

I wish I had a mentor who could have been there for me to talk through all of the problems and issues I faced especially in my 30s and 40s but unfortunately it didn’t happen for me so I’m working on developing a program for young been and younger adults who need an elder man who can calmly discuss the options that you have in life and to cover wisdom without having to compromise on courage.

Lastly, and I could write about this endlessly because I have faced a few experiences like losing my mother and fiancée in a few years and I sought help but the only people who were willing to listen were pharmacists and counselors who were nice people but they had dozens of patients and I was struggling with the darkness a man doesn’t like to admit.

My lastly piece is next to your health, and the dependable and trustworthy people in your life (and they don’t always have to be relatives) keep your financial situation a daily, weekly and monthly priority because no matter how bad things get, having a home, especially when your body slows down, you are not going down a brutal road towards homelessness.

People are willing to listen and even try to help you when you need it but it’s my experience, except for a very few occasions with those people who are saints and angels, asking for shelter for a month or longer is rarely acceptable and the complexity of their lives and spouses and kids can be too much so keep your money tight until you get completely certain that you are good.

I’m sorry if this tone is dire but I’m more than a decade older than you are and I hope anything I’ve written can be helpful but it’s a precarious time in America and if tough times could get worse so I hope you will prosper and you endure and the obstacles that you will face.

ecaveman · 2024-05-01T22:43:09+00:00

Max out your 401k contribution. 401(k) limit increased to $23,000 for 2024, IRA limit rises to $7,000.

KelVarnsenIII · 2024-05-02T13:44:16+00:00

Take the divorce now and do not wait. That would have been the best advice to give to myself. 2 less kids though, and a lot less child support to pay a deadbeat who wouldn't work and just wanted to be a facebook mom. I'd have more money in the bank, more money in my 401K, and able to save and invest more for retirement.

Current_Finding_4066 · 2024-05-02T13:18:35+00:00

Too late. You should meet your younger self.

BrushStandard746 · 2024-05-02T17:03:29+00:00

Turn your life over to God. The ways of the world are corrupt and this is really the only way that matters. If you don't know what this even means, seek now.

JohnnyThunder777 · 2025-03-01T15:30:29+00:00

There is a difference between being nice and being kind. You should always be kind You should not always be nice. Be calm, assertive, kind and don't let people guilt you or push you around. You're too old for that shit now. 😊

Conscious_Ice66 · 2024-05-02T02:20:46+00:00

Bitcoin

Microchip_ · 2024-05-01T21:14:58+00:00

I have advice for all men. Get married. Stay faithful. Have a family. The whole world changes for the better. Everything is more fun and there'll always be someone cheering you on.

Both-Ad-9225 · 2024-05-01T23:39:09+00:00

You can put lipstick on a hog, but it's still a hog, and then leave my forty y.o. self laughing his ass off until he gets it.

Title	Men in their 50s…..if you could what advice would you give to yourself when you just turned 40?
Author	Imagintheworld
Upvotes	100
Comments	63
Date	May 1, 2024 6:56 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1chu38e/men_in_their_50sif_you_could_what_advice_would/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/men-in-their-50sif-you-could-what-advice-would-you.1517054 https://theredarchive.com/post/1517054

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