Questions for getting first date lay

aiwendil_brown · 2024-06-20T05:43:24+00:00

It's important to get the logistics right but you're getting too far ahead of yourself. Your biggest concern seems to be having sex, when it actually should be having a pleasant date. Sex is just a consequence of a successful date.

If I were you I would take the girl to the spacious bar where it would be presumably easier to talk and build a connection with her, then see if I could make out with her somewhere. Only then, after she has responded positively to everything that's happened up to that point, I would invite her to my dwelling.

TRTGymBroXXX · 2024-06-20T10:41:26+00:00

Everyone has already told you that you are focusing on the wrong things, which is her sex and you are making it the prize instead of your own enjoyment which should be the prize.

What does this mean. You have already decided you want to fuck this girl. That’s bad news. Why? Because once you’ve decided you want to fuck her, you go into “selling mode”. You have sold yourself on her but you are not sure if she is sold on you. So you will spend your date trying to convince her to have sex with you.

Why is this bad. Well, maybe she doesn’t need any convincing and you end up talking her out of sleeping with you. Maybe she will think “why does he want to sleep with me so badly without knowing anything about me? Does he do that with every girl?”. Maybe, she will figure out “he seems kind of needy and desperate to get to the sex, I’m kind of turned off by this”.

Because women never want what they can get and only what they can’t get, chances are she will find your eagerness to have sex without her having to work for it very off putting.

You don’t know this woman. Why would you want to stick your dick in her without knowing anything about her. What if she’s annoying. What if she’s stupid. What if she’s evil and manipulative? You need to vet her first and GIVE HER THE OPPORTUNITY TO CONVINCE YOU TO HAVE SEX. Yes, she NEEDS TO CONVINCE YOU. Treat your sex like the prize she has to earn. If you just give it away for nothing; nobody will value it.

That being said, it’s much more important to have a well stocked home bar than it is what place you are going to. Go buy a bottle of white, a bottle of red, champagne, vodka, whiskey, some mixers, beer, maybe tequila. Have these at home for when you tell her after the bar “I’m heading home for a night cap. You are welcome to join me if you want”.

If she says “I don’t know, I’m not kind of girl, maybe another time”, tell her “that’s too bad, I really like you, but I guess you will be sleeping by yourself tonight! So sad! Bye” and start walking home without waiting for her.

Careful-House6328 · 2024-06-20T05:49:04+00:00

But to answer your questions somewhat here goes…

You should go to the bar that’s more intimate and where you are able to talk. Not necessary bar that’s more hip and fun. If the rooftop bar is loud with lots of people and music and not many places to sit that’s bad.

The size of your balcony compared to a rooftop bar means nothing. Everyone’s balcony is smaller than a bar.

There’s no set timeframe to ask her back. You just need to escalate to the point where you guys are touching each other and have at least kissed or are making out. That could be 20 minutes or 3 hours. Then it’s normal to ask her back.

Also you don’t have to have dates 1 and 2 at both of the bars if you don’t close the first date. The 2nd date could be literally anything. A fun activity, a walk in the park, ice cream, dinner, cook dinner for her, etc And you could still hook up. You don’t need to go to a bar to make a girl come home with you.

In terms of order of places. Most girls online are not going to meet at a strangers house for a first meet who could be a serial killer. Generally speaking you’re going to meet at the bar first in public

UnkemptGoose339 · 2024-06-20T16:12:58+00:00

I appreciate the focus on logistics, that's very good you're considering it beforehand. However, being that you are a dating n00b, you should really be focusing on your game overall starting with your appearance, your scent, wearing well fitted clothing, body language, vocal tonality. Do you have all of that locked down to the point where you don't even have to think about it? AKA Unconscious competence.

Focus on the above and ask questions on here if the date goes south so that you can improve and we can see where you may have went wrong.

If you have attraction down solid, those logistics should be fine for walking back to your place. And she's not going back to your place for the view, it would be for you, obviously.

Careful-House6328 · 2024-06-20T05:16:51+00:00

You’re waaaaaay overthinking the logistics…what matters is what you do on the actual date. You’re looking at this way too logically like it’s some time of mathematical equation. The extra 7 minutes doesn’t matter. The size of a bar rooftop compared to the size of your balcony doesn’t matter. The price of drinks at each bar doesn’t matter. A woman isn’t going to fuck you after a specific time at a bar. The order of bars for dates one and two doesn’t matter. The order of places doesn’t matter (although most women prefer to meet in public first not at some online strangers house). Women aren’t just fuck robots.

A huge part of online dating too is creating a profile that caters to what you’re looking for and being able to filter out and find girls that are looking for more casual relationships and hookups than long term relationships since that’s all you’re looking for.

jeeezluuieeez · 2024-06-21T02:44:58+00:00

Meet her at a bar see the vibes , tell her she looks really cute after couple drinks if she says the same tell her cute enough to give me a kiss? If she kiss you vibe out to another drink and say, want to take the party to my apartment? And see where it goes… feel out the vibe be chill about it and go w the flow…

punktfan · 2024-06-20T06:11:20+00:00

Honestly, the logistics of both are pretty decent. I always opt for the environment I enjoy more, because if you're having a good time, your date can tell and it's gonna go better for you. I think I'd go for the hipster bar personally.

No_Hat9118 · 2024-06-20T06:14:04+00:00

Doesn’t matter what kind of bar, what matters is that you’re sat on the same side as her so u can physically escalate

Kobe_curry24 · 2024-06-20T08:02:24+00:00

You thinking about the end goal to much , you need to go to the date interested in her ,also to vet her to see if you really like her Jesus , next you should go with the Intention of getting physical , everything else should work out itself ,mostly go to seek experience in what can you learn

IGetBoredSometimes23 · 2024-06-20T05:47:54+00:00

Coffee shops are best for first dates. Bars are okay as a last resort, but you should avoid ones that are overly noisy. Your job on a first date is to use language to set a romantic and sexual mood, and you can't do that if you have to scream to talk.

Title	Questions for getting first date lay
Author	FeelingNorth2962
Upvotes	2
Comments	38
Date	June 20, 2024 5:11 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1dk3rqx/questions_for_getting_first_date_lay/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/questions-for-getting-first-date-lay.1522113 https://theredarchive.com/post/1522113

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