Will I ever trust again

Strict-Front-2375 · 2024-06-22T16:49:10+00:00

Well, I guess it's less trust, and more you just have to accept the odds. So, you don't hold back or anything, but you also know you've got 50%+ odds of it not working out. If that happens...well, it happened, and not much you could have done about it, except not play the game.

Strict-Front-2375 · 2024-06-22T16:49:10+00:00

Well, I guess it's less trust, and more you just have to accept the odds. So, you don't hold back or anything, but you also know you've got 50%+ odds of it not working out. If that happens...well, it happened, and not much you could have done about it, except not play the game.

Independent_Owlz · 2024-06-22T02:25:19+00:00

Trust is just a word. Actions are what matters.

Believe in your gut instincts.

Ark161 · 2024-06-20T23:22:05+00:00

Ay friend, I say this with love but you gotta trust yourself first. I know that sounds really fucking dumb, but you are looking back in a lot of things and drawing lines where there might not be any. You can’t help what your parents did and frankly, they probably did you dirty. That isn’t your fault; personally took me a long ass time to understand that. My dad walked out when I was five and when he wanted to meet at 17, I told him that I didn’t need an apology or a reason, but that he needed to go his own way. They didn’t “abandon” us, we are just bystanders of a cosmic level shitfest.

People change, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse; in this case, the latter. So trust yourself in the fact that you can survive this, that you can be better, that you are not the problem, but you are fighting for the solution

Expert-Raccoon6097 · 2024-06-20T21:50:37+00:00

You don't trust your partner. The simple fact is you will never know what they truly think. And they are human....ripe for flaws and making mistakes.

What you trust is that you will be strong enough to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and continue to move forward. You will get betrayed in all manner of relationships (not just romantic).

As you get some experience you will learn to have good boundaries so when the the inevitable happens you are not left to rebuild from scratch every time. You build a life you want, you invite a woman to join, if she leaves you still have the life you want.

When you make a woman the center of everything instead of grinding on your purpose you lose everything when she leaves (and a guy who places women on pedestals is very unattractive to women and she will leave).

Exactly65536 · 2024-06-20T15:29:46+00:00

If anything, you seem to trust too much.

Someone told you about God, you believed. Your wife gave some formal promises, you believed.

Believe less. That's how you trust people, by staying in reality. Which is a place where everyone pursues their interests, and sometimes it makes a lot of sense to pursue common interest together. Not because of vows, but because it makes sense.

Old-Macaroon8148 · 2024-06-20T15:00:35+00:00

Same story. You don’t have to have a long term partner to be happy in life.

Frankly I’ve completely pivoted in my life goals after the number she did on me. Now, the moment I get these kids off to college I’m taillights to the coast getting a sailboat and exploring port to port the rest of my life. I’m sure there will be women that come and go but I’ll never commit to one again. Dedicate years of my life hoping I don’t get stabbed in the back? Pass.

trivertx · 2024-06-20T13:06:40+00:00

Yeah that sucks. I’m finding that other adults whose fathers abandoned them were told that by mom to avoid them knowing that they were kept from dad on purpose.

Trusting is hard. I hope you heal and are able to trust again.

xjeeperx · 2024-06-20T12:02:13+00:00

You’re probably right. I’ve noticed more since I’ve been divorced that most people are just liars. Not just women, but they’re generally worse. You only got yourself.

Boolit_Tooth_Tony · 2024-06-20T14:23:10+00:00

Time for counseling, sir. That stuff from childhood's hurting you more than you realize. To trust and love again means to be vulnerable, but that doesn't mean to be vulnerable to financial ruin either. If you can get through the emotional part and it ever progresses enough you're ready for commitment, just protect yourself legally. It takes away the incentive for them to pull shit and leave, and if they do, at least you'll leave mostly whole financially.

Title	Will I ever trust again
Author	Equivalent_Rabbit_62
Upvotes	11
Comments	14
Date	June 20, 2024 11:40 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1dk9idh/will_i_ever_trust_again/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/will-i-ever-trust-again.1522123 https://theredarchive.com/post/1522123

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