Now that I'm getting divorced, I'm remembering all those years where I was completely alone with no support and it was rough

Asatmaya · 2024-07-08T01:00:39+00:00

Find some friends, women are not the only solution to loneliness, and I've never found them to be "warm."

Present_League9106 · 2024-07-08T00:58:48+00:00

I remember that being in a relationship is lonelier than being alone.

TheRandomGuyX · 2024-07-08T03:58:04+00:00

It will get better. The current society model is not sustainable, just survive until shit hits fan. Focus on self improvement. You don't really need women in your life, especially ones that abandon you. Feeling of loneliness is just a rudimentary evolution mechanism, to force certain behaviours on us, don't submit to it you can decide for yourself how to achieve happiness without being dependent on others. Pain we feel from loneliness is not real, it's like quitting a bad habit and you can overcome it. Don't let chemistry or instincts decide what you want.

BoomBoom4209 · 2024-07-08T02:05:11+00:00

I'm going through 4 years of Marriage hell from my partner and I tell you with the stress and sicknesses brought on from that constant flight response.

I'll be honest - I'd take loneliness any day of the week after going through all this... Loneliness is that warm feeling I live with during this cold dead relationship.

Particular-Tap1211 · 2024-07-08T02:42:04+00:00

I've chosen the lone wolf path to seek peace and to rebuild after a nightmare deliberately intended to destroy every fabric of my life by the ex covert narc. I've reflected where I've gone wrong and now I'm correcting my course so I can build a better outcome for my future in silence. Yet it's a struggle. Be prepared to wrestle with your own mind and society expectations and the gossip that surrounds weak tongues. After your grieving period get into hobbies that excite you and fuck the rest of the world until you are ready to engage again. Good luck.

Vegetable_Ad1732 · 2024-07-08T03:47:06+00:00

You don't see yourself making money anytime soon, and you think your big problem is you can't get women? Dude, your real problem is you skewed priorities. To heck with the women, work on yourself.

Confidentblackpilled · 2024-07-08T00:50:25+00:00

women don't treat aged men with respect they don't even view them as human

gabriel-kornilov · 2024-07-08T02:30:53+00:00

The worst kind of solitude. Painfully alone while surrended with people.

EfficientSimplicity · 2024-07-08T07:31:42+00:00

In 2024, women are luxury items.

When you’re broke with no money, are you putting your money towards leasing a BMW 7-series or are you going to buy some groceries.

Sorry to heard about our health issues. Take care of them first. Build yourself up the best you can. Have friends. Then think about wahmen.

If you’re attractive women throw themselves at you without looking

ParamedicExcellent15 · 2024-07-08T12:03:22+00:00

Similar situation to you my friend. Might take years to come out the other end. You’ll struggle with the initial lack of purpose and isolation. But look after yourself. Just do you every day. Fuck money and ppls expectations. We’ll all be dead soon. Go cold water swimming. Watch the sunset. None of it means anything. Just try to feel love and contentment for the things you see around you. It might be shit, but it’s our only time around so who cares what happens. The future isn’t real. Just like the many constructs that make up our reality. It never arrives the way ppl plan for it. Fuck it man 👍

OGKillertunes · 2024-07-08T01:24:50+00:00

This is a perfect opportunity to focus on improving yourself. Don't worry about jumping into another relationship.

NCC-1701-1 · 2024-07-08T02:43:00+00:00

Be sure and get alimony as money troubles amplify lonliness.

coming2grips · 2024-07-08T01:53:30+00:00

You will only be alone as you choose to allow yourself to be.

Learn to be comfortable around yourself then worry about being around others. Some people find they don't need to have someone with them all the time

Legal_Current_9023 · 2024-07-08T02:11:45+00:00

These thoughts are not true. You are at vulnerable time where you don't feel too good about yourself. I went through it. My advice: don't go looking for a relationship for a long time. Go try to have fun and bang whatever comes your way, whether hot or below what you normally would prefer.

Explore, man. I rushed into something catastrophic. Trust me. Explore!

Complex-Ad-4640 · 2024-07-08T03:44:03+00:00

Women is not gonna be the solution, your ex wife got you in this position from the start so another woman in your life will make it worse. Focus on yourself and find male friends.

kingcobra0411 · 2024-07-08T11:59:44+00:00

Accept the worst case scenario. I was in a similar position. Broke, single, zero friends, ugly. But at least I was only 26. But first thing I did was accept that I might end up like this forever. And I was ok with that. From there I built my life one step at a time.

First thing I would say is hit the gym all the time. But don’t think that you will workout and solve all your problems.

Spending time at gym slowly gets your mind and body fit. While working out think about your life in a systematic way. Read lots of audio books. Get a therapist. Get help.

Next is money and experiences. Travel and experience solitude. Find the life that you will be ok to spend forever alone. That’s your safe place. Your man cave. From there you can start building other parts of life one by one.

Lbettrave5050 · 2024-07-08T15:52:34+00:00

I could have write this post!

Suitable_Tomatillo59 · 2024-07-08T18:52:32+00:00

Work on yourself and do good things that are good for you. Hell, be a part of MGTOW. Don’t let those Feminazis try to tell you different. If they say you’re being sexist for being single, they’re projecting their entitlement complex and daddy issues onto you. This generation of women lost their right to an abortion for a REASON.

Here’s what I do •Read some books and keep a trophy shelf of what you read to remind yourself of your accomplishments •Learn a new skill. Even if you never actually use it, it may come in handy someday (using crutches for instance) •Play video games. Easy go •Talk to family •Binge a good TV series and keep a list of what you’ve binged •Write a list of things you’ve accomplished in life •Think about how you can leave a lasting legacy on the future

America is falling apart, but your resolve may be getting stronger. You do you

corporate_robot_dude · 2024-07-08T01:41:16+00:00

Finding peace in accepting that you'll likely die alone is actually a very tough thing to take in. I'm 35, millionaire, average looking, average height, and have already accepted I'll end up that way as well. It's not that I want to be alone, but rather the quality of modern women is just so incredibly bad. It's seemingly impossible to find someone mentally normal that meets atleast a minimum level of attractiveness (I don't even have crazy unrealistic standards).

Sometimes I do think there's something I'm doing wrong, but the same cycle repeats in all the women I meet. So it's either I accept the reality, or change my mindset (eg. accept some used up single mom with baggage, or play their games)

Proper_Frosting_6693 · 2024-07-08T12:51:46+00:00

Why are you getting divorced? Some more context would help

CharmingSama · 2024-07-08T17:27:21+00:00

google martial art or boxing gyms in your area, get up and go pay a visit... sign up and get involved... what you need is less thought and more action... you been sitting in your feelings soaking in negative emotions, some may even be valid, but let me ask you, how does that serve you? how does that improve your life? from the sounds of it, you have been working to serve others, working to improve others lives... when were you fair to yourself last? go do something that gets your blood pumping, makes you feel alive and then get up and go do it again! find a new circle and engage... I always recommend a martial art because in my opinion its best for self discovery of what you are as a man, and who you are as ( insert your name ). 40s are still young, and you still have decades ahead of you, with life to live so go live it! you got this!

BuffToragsWarHammers · 2024-07-09T00:49:08+00:00

Married a feminist. I didn't know this, she's just gladly volunteered that information. Super.

All the internalised misandry now makes sense.

Why I constantly felt alone and rejected by my alleged life partner. The negative comments she's made about my body and other mens bodies. How she's never there when I'm low and need her, but just as one example I'm supposed to be willing to let her sacrifice her entire career/study (and thus, our mutual effort to support ourselves and each other) because effort is "too hard".

It's always been some excuse, some reasons to dismiss my needs or otherwise squash my ego down.

"I just think penises are ugly"
"I'm not really interested in sex and don't think about you that way,"
"Why do I always have to be the one to make things better? Why is this always my problem?"
"Did you expect me to fight for you?"
"You should leave me for someone else"

Fucking. Tempting.

I can't believe I've waited this long to not be proven wrong.

Give me the strength to see this through brothers. I'm an anxious type in a relationship with an aspie avoidant so she can't even comprehend why the fuck I'm upset, let alone the years of damage done despite clear and direct communication, repeatedly about all these issues.

A man slips up just once, and reddit says "Ditch the whole man".
I hang on for 15 years - Is it now my time to ditch her or do the standards of society not go both ways?

I just know if I pull the trigger I'm by default the evil and bad man worthy or attack and ridicule as I always have been.

Lonewolf_087 · 2024-07-09T01:47:07+00:00

You offset it with other things and basically cope. That’s it. I’ve been single my whole life just recently lost my v-card at 36. I’m not unhappy just am missing an element of being with people. Somehow I manage. If your health is bad get a home health care worker or someone to watch out for you. Making friends helps a bunch. There isn’t an easy fix to it it’s more about developing other aspects of your life to make them strong enough where you don’t feel the immediate need as much. Women aren’t this magic solution that they may have been seen as in the past because many aren’t compelled to give something back unless you’ve given them everything. Not all women but so many see you as strictly a life accessory not a necessity. It ends up being as bad or worse than being alone. So you just shift gears in your life,

CarHungry · 2024-07-09T03:22:07+00:00

Atleast you don't (I presume) have kids with her. Going NC indefinitely is infinitely easier than having a permanent legal/emotional/biological connection with someone who manipulates and abuses the shit out of you at every oppertunity.

Men shouldn't ever get married either though, neither the law nor society is on your side & pretty much every benefit has a safer legal alternative that doesn't involve some kind of extortion on the way out.

MattR9590 · 2024-07-09T18:16:56+00:00

All relationships are transactional besides maybe those of family. All friendships take work and it’s a give and take. Same with relationships. For the most part, nothing is unconditional. If I quit working and locked myself in my office playing video games all day I gurantee you my partner would leave me, and I wouldn’t blame her one bit. You have to seek what you desire and provide value to others. Feeling sorry for yourself won’t do you any good. Sorry but it’s just the way it is. Sometimes you’re all you have and you need to accept that and become comfortable with it until others inevitably show up in your life.

Title	Now that I'm getting divorced, I'm remembering all those years where I was completely alone with no support and it was rough
Author	Acousmetre78
Upvotes	137
Comments	62
Date	July 8, 2024 12:47 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1dxvtns/now_that_im_getting_divorced_im_remembering_all/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/now-that-im-getting-divorced-im-remembering-all.1523585 https://theredarchive.com/post/1523585

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