I always end up receiving the “Sorry, but I’m not looking for anything at the moment”

appolonysian · 2024-09-23T19:00:54+00:00

You have to risk making them uncomfortable. Look at it this way: you fear you’re going to lose them if you do that, but you’re already losing them anyway, so you might as well have that happen while you’re being authentic about your intentions. Doing the “nice guy” act doesn’t fool anyone.

razama · 2024-09-23T19:48:41+00:00

Based on the nice guy vibes you are projecting, I would say consider the idea that emotionally you seem to be giving conventional romantic boyfriend energy.

Don’t try to be a boyfriend day 1, really you should be having fun and keeping it casual. Never should they say, “not really looking for anything right now” because this assumes you were going to give them a second date and they want to cut it off before it happens.These are younger women and rightfully, most aren’t sure what they want in life quite yet.

The entire time should be you self amusing and having win win fun.

HomelessMilkman · 2024-09-23T21:59:34+00:00

Nice = low status = tense = low self-esteem.

It's sub-communication. It's the ability to be comfortable and relaxed in the situation - therefore demonstrate high self-esteem.

The fact of the matter is, even if you had the 'right lines' or the 'technically correct way to behave' in the back of your mind, it still wouldn't work because you're fundamentally not comfortable.

As much tension you could create with a line, you lose by avoiding eye contact, saying it in a 'trying for rapport' tone, not saying it loud enough, twitching and blinking excessively, nervous laugh, 'erm', 'so', 'yeah', playing a character, filtering your behaviour and freezing, etc. 'Honest signals'. You reactively try to downplay all of the tension created because you don't feel comfortable in that situation.

That's the thing, you just have to not freak out. There's natural tension if you don't undermine it. All of this nervous, anxious behaviour is saying 'don't look at me'. You just have to be comfortable taking her attention, you have to be able to 'hold it' without reacting. What that means and what specifically your unique 'tics' are don't really matter, you be comfortable with success and you get success.

SnooHesitations4922 · 2024-09-23T20:43:12+00:00

Understand what actually makes a woman feel comfortable. The answer is indifference and the preselection that it signals.

The less you care about the girl, the more comfortable she feels. No woman will ever tell you that directly, but their behaviors say this is true.

I'm not saying not to care about her as a human. I'm saying you can absolutely give 0 shits if you get anywhere with the girl or not. If you have attachment to any possible outcome, you demonstrate a lack of options.

When a woman tells you that she ain't looking for nothing, that is her way of saying; " I clearly see you aren't preselected so I don't feel safe with you"

DaygameCode · 2024-09-23T20:16:10+00:00

Attraction requires emotional tension, not comfort. Once you understand this you will stop trying so hard to to make her feel too comfortable, and will break rapport more often.

For example: Let’s say that a girl says:

Girl: “You never thought about moving down here?”

Bad responses:

“I can’t for a while”

“_Yeah, i’m actually moving here soon_”

Better to say:

“_Well, if you keep looking at me like that, I might be tempted😏_”

• If every girl there is as cute as you, I might consider it 🫦”. —————————

• These ones create sexual tension (in contrast to the bad ones), specially if you say them with a seductive gentleman tone of voice, rather than a flat tone of voice.

• It also matters the gaze and the way you bite your lips suggestively which is why i include the mm as emojis, because the girl needs to see face to face that sexual attitude when you flirt like this.

• Take in mind that flirting should always be done in person, don’t try to do it over texts. Some guys make that mistake because they are too sacred to do it in person, so they want to feel safe hiding behind the screen. The tone and the words needs to be expressed in person.

outlierkk · 2024-09-23T20:20:21+00:00

your value is very low in their eyes, if they saw you as somebody they cant usually get with they would've tripped out. assume someone famous like decaprio etc. came up to them, would they react the same ?

Its a game of man's perceived value

rememberdeathoften · 2024-09-23T19:17:39+00:00

Have you ever read a erotic novel written by a woman? I assume no because if you did you’ll see exactly what type of man women want. And I can assure you it ain’t the nice guy

neugalant · 2024-09-23T22:26:16+00:00

i mean, they literally gave you the answer: dont be a nice guy.

i cant say too much on reddit but you need to do some research into how men and women are wired and dont believe what youre being told by the mainstream. all i can say is: we are products of nature. sex is very primal. so look to nature on how to behave - and in nature, there are no "nice guys". simple as.

generally speaking though, 22 isnt a great age for sexual conquest, especially if you dont want to end up a loser. as rule of thumb: work in your 20s, play in your 30s. you should focus on yourself and not women. ironically, thats when they start coming to YOU. either way, if you need a woman to feel complete, youre doing it wrong - and they can smell that.

tilldeathdoiparty · 2024-09-23T20:25:20+00:00

Your vibe is too needy and coming from a position of lack, you need to flip it and make them want it

ratfooshi · 2024-09-23T21:58:58+00:00

The first thing is to take accountability. Good shit.

All this means is she wasn't sold on your vibe yet.

Women don't want an asshole, they want a courteous lion.

Bold, yet gentlemen like.
Patient, yet swift when the time comes.

+ Free game: Let her wonder what your intentions are, rather than seeking labels. It'll keep you in her mind. The essence of seduction.

LegendaryZTV · 2024-09-23T23:03:23+00:00

Be more direct & stop blocking your natural desires. It’s ok to tease/make a move/escalate things when you & a girl are talking. She’s expecting you to & you should

You can still be respectful while fully displaying your intentions. You know what you want, let her know but don’t just be blatant/seem like an asshole. Also, it is a numbers game so you won’t be for everyone

MrAnonPoster · 2024-09-23T19:01:34+00:00

two and more than three times the usual message from girls that dont want anything with you but want to reject you softly, the “You are a nice guy but Im not looking for anything at the moment”.

I have bolded your problem.

Read the book called "Models" for comprehension. Live it.

burncushlikewood · 2024-09-24T02:06:22+00:00

I'm not sure what your problem is I'm not there with you! Sometimes you do everything right and it doesn't work out, sometimes you fumble and it leads to sex. I think you should just relax and don't panic and keep a log, write down everything that happened fresh after your approaches, everything she and you said, her body language, absolutely every detail, this way you can introspectively determine what you're doing wrong. This is what I implemented, after a night out I always asked myself if I was doing things the right way, am I being too aggressive? Am I being too passive? Am I not asking the right questions? Am I not touching her? I remember one night after I did 30+ approaches at the bar, and I realized I was not being aggressive enough, I was talking to a lot of girls but I wasn't getting anywhere. I needed to put it all together, the approach, the confidence, the conversation control, and the kino, then when I got patient, brave enough to go for the kiss, then I started to have actual success

Far_Mud_2860 · 2024-09-27T01:27:44+00:00

That's a typical response to a needy vibe

therealwoujo · 2024-09-29T03:04:22+00:00

Youre coming on too strong.

Emergency-Neck5679 · 2024-09-23T23:57:45+00:00

+1 (507) 513-1178 call me

Emergency-Neck5679 · 2024-09-23T23:57:51+00:00

+1 (507) 513-1178 call me

Title	I always end up receiving the “Sorry, but I’m not looking for anything at the moment”
Author	External_Category_36
Upvotes	66
Comments	27
Date	September 23, 2024 6:44 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1fns05f/i_always_end_up_receiving_the_sorry_but_im_not/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-always-end-up-receiving-the-sorry-but-im-not.1531164 https://theredarchive.com/post/1531164

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