Is inviting someone over on a first date a bad move?

Snight · 2024-10-09T08:33:46+00:00

I think it shows a lack of insight into what dating as a woman can be like. Sure some may say yes, but I’d say in percentage terms you’ll probably close more doors than you open by doing this.

HadToAsk10001 · 2024-10-09T04:11:07+00:00

You cut off a lot of potential women with that invite since it’s such a hard sell. It’d be better to just meet at a nearby bar or coffee shop, then invite her back to yours afterwards if the vibe is right.

epimpstyle · 2024-10-09T15:23:17+00:00

You're doing good, but....there's a concept that says you should take the girl to several places, so it's not just one bar (location), but you actually say to her "let's go get an ice-cream"....then "I know a place that has good lemonade"....then "I'm hungry, let's go get a pizza"....it takes too much to explain why you should do that, but it's important to just do it and take her in different places. Next time, do the same, but now end the date at your place after you have been to 2-3 places. What you do next is up to you, because you know better what your goal is.

Odd-Yak4551 · 2024-10-09T06:09:59+00:00

Long game works. Contrary to popular belief girls don’t like to think of themselves as sluts. Set your expections on a 3 date rule and u won’t be disappointed

Cavsfan724 · 2024-10-09T14:20:39+00:00

Yes. Honestly even as a man you don't need to have a woman over on a first date you never know.

No-Philosophy5461 · 2024-10-09T15:27:04+00:00

I think it's all about wording. I've gotten more luck saying we can just talk some and order in or watch something and obviously it led to sex. But for women there's a lot of triggers that make them not want to come off as a hoe. Strictly inviting them to your place is one of them. You have to be more underhanded in your words.

I've had some tell me they wouldn't hookup too soon and I responded okay, and we ended up fucking.

No-Philosophy5461 · 2024-10-09T15:29:36+00:00

It's about the implication 🤷

You gotta build that tension then play it off like you're not too eager but ask if they wanna hangout longer, make sure they're comfortable and bam

Pyroftw3 · 2024-10-09T09:09:25+00:00

If you only down to get laid with young women 18-23 inviting over the first date works if you have sex appeal.
But if you act like a stable guy and look for a relationship 2 date model is better, meaning go on first coffee date to meet them then 2nd date invite them to your place, if they don't want meet them somewhere for drinks coffee for 2nd date and them invite to your place.

I do get laid A LOT on the first dates but most of the girls don't stick around because if you fuck them fast on first date they will think its just a ONS

TripleDigitNomad · 2024-10-09T10:43:19+00:00

Is inviting someone over on a first date a bad move?

It can be, especially with some of the highest quality girls. Just proposing it will turn them off completely.

However, with others it can work and can be an easy way to get laid. Generally, girls who are 2 points lower than you will be down, those who are 1 point have a 50/50 chance, and those who are the same level as you have a 25% chance.

So if you're an 8, then 6s (or lower) will usually be down, 7s will be down half the time, 8s a quarter of the time, and 9s basically never. So it's just up to you to decide if the risk of turning her off with the idea is worth it.

I've had plenty of girls come over for the first date this year, but pretty much none of them have been 9s and when I have proposed it to 9s, they got turned off instantly so be careful when playing with fire.

DisruptorMor · 2024-10-09T17:16:25+00:00

It's your game, your strategies, your rules, your fail and your success.

Play accordingly to your strength.

Inviting someone over to the first date might be exactly your best environment. This way you might be able to filter the kind of woman you have a better experience and feel more confident.

There is no strategy that works with and for everyone. Play your strength, minimize your weakness.

Personally I am used to the medium term game, engaging with fewer girls (3 at maximum) while knowing them deeper. If I start to realize I don't want them near me, I simply disengage.

I used to like doing this, but I want to start experimenting with an all win one time approach. With women at the beach, having a great afternoon followed by an invitation to my apartment. My goal is still to enjoy the beach, so I won't force any interaction.

Perhaps I will be able to 2x my yearly score, and I could go bald in order to 3x or 4x, but that's not my type.

rando755 · 2024-10-09T19:11:48+00:00

Yes it is a bad move. Many if not most women will assume you want casual sex. Most women will refuse to go to your place, and you will get fewer second dates.

allanjameson · 2024-10-09T20:00:46+00:00

What are you 16? Go on a simple first date near your place and if you hit it off invite her over.

esimpstyle · 2024-10-09T20:02:03+00:00

Yes because you send the message of being to thirsty off rip. Maybe she wants to know the person before she just jumps into that kind of thing.

No-Preference8767 · 2024-10-09T06:17:36+00:00

It depends on your style of communication and the girl .. If you're operating on the indirect socially normal style and she's a naive slut shamed girl , I think you're supposed to basically trick them into coming over. You want to white lie and give false pretenses so they end up in your apt drinking and then you want to make them comfortable enough to " let things happen " ( get them comfortable enough to be able to touch them and turn them on , kiss and progress to sex ) . It's preferred so the women can justify to herself that she's not having sex ??? I think that's the reason. Plausible deniability on both ends. Because it's a false offer and not sex, you can also be more pushy about it with the fallbacks of humor and whatever the platonic harmless pretense is

" It's just a painting" ,
" it's a killer sound setup" , " they're really nice cats etc... "

I think that's the normal way of doing it. And again everything covered in layers of jokes and humor.

If you don't care about social norms and your dealing with a seasoned women , you can invite them for drinks at your place and if they imply your only looking for a hookup just have that discussion then and there.

It seems that when I do this they get the impression I’m just looking for a hookup and it turns them away. I’m actually looking for something stable but yeah I’m trying to get laid too

Saying you're looking for something stable and your not tryna have sex with them ( saying " I'm tryna get laid " sounds a lil impersonal. You want to make sure they know it's them specifically you want to sleep with )

Honestly I don't go on many dates and when I do I think I tell them everything I'm looking for over text and in the date explicitly. If I'm looking for hookups I say it. If I'm looking to feel the vibes out for a sexual and platonic connection I tell them . But yeah I dont have any sort of luck with women that say they're looking for a serious relationship.

Thebiggestbigsquid · 2024-10-09T14:45:45+00:00

In my experience you can never go wrong, even if a girl isn’t down it still sets a good kind of grounds for the rest of the dynamic. Just don’t push it and do it in a fun way, if they say no you say no worries that’s it

Title	Is inviting someone over on a first date a bad move?
Author	Clean-Explanation-87
Upvotes	16
Comments	26
Date	October 9, 2024 3:57 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1fziuij/is_inviting_someone_over_on_a_first_date_a_bad/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/is-inviting-someone-over-on-a-first-date-a-bad.1532504 https://theredarchive.com/post/1532504

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