Any advice on how not to be a narcissist co-parent would be appreciated.

xjeeperx · 2025-01-19T17:44:26+00:00

So, if you’re worried that you’re a narcissist, you’re probably not in fact a narcissist.

Parallel parenting is your goal. Basically you just ignore her bs and do what’s best for you and your kids and let her seethe.

Joocewayne · 2025-01-19T04:33:34+00:00

Based on your language, you’re possibly co-dependent leaning.

My ex had similar accusations of “narcissism” and “emotional abuse” and I too took her accusation very seriously. I read book after book on personality disorders, attachment theory and finally ended up seeing a therapist, convinced I was to blame for everything.

My therapist told me something similar to what others have posted: everyone displays narcissistic behaviors sometimes. If I were a narcissist, I wouldn’t be here talking to him, emotionally wrecked and fearful that I was narcissist. He helped me get back to some sense of clarity on the whole thing and shook me out of her elaborately crafted narrative.

Please pick up No More Mr Nice Guy by Robert Glover. If anything, the book will help you realize the faulty coping methods we sometimes habitualize just to keep going. These defense pathways can become entrenched and deeply layered upon previous traumas, but ultimately they become emotionally destructive to our sense of self.

With a damaged sense of self and a handicap on building intrinsic worth, the psyche attempts to build it from external sources. This is codependency and it is a futile, ever shifting hell.

Good therapy is essential for real healing. Good being the key word.

Hang in there, and remember, it takes two people to make a marriage work. It only takes one to burn a marriage to the ground.

Which one were you? I would bet money you were the one willing to fight for it.

Beamformer · 2025-01-19T04:16:36+00:00

Forget the titles. Love your kid, let them know you always have their best interest in mind. Be an example of what you want them to be. My grown kid calls me almost daily, and she has long been blocked from both our lives. Narcisssit don't self label or seek help...youve been gaslit.

lostpassword100000 · 2025-01-19T01:07:38+00:00

Narcissistic people don’t recognize it in themselves and they certainly don’t ask for help!

I did the same thing you’re doing. I allowed my ex to convince me I was the problem and I was the narcissist.

Go talk to someone. You sound beaten down by all this and I promise you that she is playing mind games with your head.

Electric_Donut_Mouth · 2025-01-18T23:43:09+00:00

Learn about boundaries. Write them down. Stand by them.

JustSomeDude7287 · 2025-01-18T20:21:57+00:00

My friend, your ex is gaslighting you. Stop listening to her and educate yourself on what a narcissist truly is. The fact that you are questioning yourself and believing you are a narcissist MEANS you are NOT.

You have to start standing your ground and stop being a people pleaser. You have low self esteem and think by being nice will get you what you deserve. The saying treat others how you want to be treated is false stop believing that. You show others how they can treat you not how you want to be treated.

Start learning to say no, and stop trying to coparent with her. Start learning parallel parenting.

She’s beating you down to a pulp and it’s working. It’s time to pick yourself up and fight to be a strong and confident father for your children.

regertsrus · 2025-01-18T15:19:23+00:00

If youre honest and you gave away all your rights for peace and quiet, the. The narcisist is your wife gasliting you. She is manipulating you. You folded. Stand up and grow a pair. You are being killed slowly by a narcisist most likely. Want to live? Start by getting help. Go to a psych for a bit. You cant live with guilt and you have to prevent her from guilt tripping you

Strong-Adeptness270 · 2025-01-18T08:50:06+00:00

We're all "narcissists" according to dysfunctional divorce women. In reality, modern women are narcissists. The main proof is that psychological projection (aka calling others what you yourself are) is like the #1 symptom of narcissism, not to mention their other behavior. I don't think complying, submitting, and cooperating are going to make her stop calling you a narcissist or stop making your life miserable with divorce. She's a pos. What you need to do is entirely ignore her and move on with your life. Ignoring a narcissist, which she is, is the only effective strategy to deal with them. And they hate to see you thrive happily without them. You should bitterly fight her tooth and nail in the courts for your parental rights, but otherwise never say another word to her again

dc-cards · 2025-01-18T08:00:54+00:00

Who told you that you are a narcissistic co-parent. Taking a shot in the dark, I’m guessing it’s your ex-wife?

Wanting peace, time with your kids, ready to give in to her, not being good at standing your ground…these are all opposite behaviors of a narcissist.

99% sure SHE is the narcissist and is gaslighting you to make you think that you are the uncooperative parent. Narcissists are commonly known to project the attitude and behaviors they display themselves onto there victim.

I can relate to how you are feeling very well. But I promise that you will look back on this moment you decided to give in, and be furious with yourself that you gave up.

There are several books and podcasts I can suggest which will help you understand what narcissistic behavior is and the dangers it presents. Fight my man…it’s so worth it.

Title	Any advice on how not to be a narcissist co-parent would be appreciated.
Author	Relative-Squash-2688
Upvotes	6
Comments	11
Date	January 18, 2025 4:17 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1i3zg9v/any_advice_on_how_not_to_be_a_narcissist_coparent/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/any-advice-on-how-not-to-be-a-narcissist-co-parent.1541122 https://theredarchive.com/post/1541122

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