Friend Zone or Go Zone Shit Test?

abdada · 2015-09-29T21:09:23+00:00

Here's how you learn:

Never text her again
Go through a long withdrawal process to break a very unhealthy but addictive fake relationship
Read TRP by lurking until you are completely unhooked from her

She's abusing you. I call this commitment rape. She is basically taking from you what she wants at no cost to herself but great cost to you.

fnordsnord · 2015-09-30T00:56:08+00:00

Okay little brother. I've read both posts. I'm going to lay some facts on you:

This is not a shit test of any kind. You see, for there to be shit-tests, there must be a relationship.

Your friend likes our company and enjoys the resources she gets from you: time, attention, validation of her attractiveness, and the money you put into these non-date dates.

I'm not telling you she's a wicked, evil whore. I'm telling you that you are serving her goodies on a silver platter and she'd be a fool not to take them.

But are you banging her? No? Then you're not in a relationship. She's getting what she wants and you're NOT getting what YOU want. This means that she is, however unintentionally using you.

Here's the kicker: It's YOUR fault.

Have you tried to kiss her? Have you put your hand on her boob? Have you grabbed her ass during a hug and pulled her up, pelvis-to-pelvis.

Or have you even sacked up, looked her in the eye and said, "I'm attracted to you as a girl; we should date?"

You haven't. And you haven't because you're afraid she'll reject you, and you think that sitting around HOPING she's attracted to is better than finding out for sure that she is not. You're wrong. Rejection hurts FAR less than regret.

If you have done NONE of these things to express your interest it is NOT her fault she hasn't returned it.

You are in the position of an adolescent at a party hiding in the bathroom. You can hear the music. You can smell the food. And if you jamb eyeball down at the base of the door you can see the girls ankles as they dance.

But you're missing the party.

What you have is NOT a friendship, and it's dishonest. You haven't expressed what you feel, and that makes YOU the dishonest one. This is not fair to her.

But this is a male advice forum, and I only mention it because YOU probably care about being fair to her. Me, I'm more worried about YOU.

See, what you got going on is UNHEALTHY. Not only are you walking around with permanent blue balls, your hangup with this woman is preventing you from moving on and finding a woman who is into you.

So - moving forward: MAKE A MOVE.

Maybe grabbing her boobs mid sentence the next time you are discussing the romantic nature of sunrises is a bit abrupt.

Next time you are chillin' over netflix, sit CLOSE to her on the couch, put your arm over her shoulders. When she turns to ask you what's up, lean in and kiss her. If you get the cheek or the duck, you'll know where you stand. Back off and finish watching the movie. if she kissed you back, you will ALSO know where you stand.

But once you get LJBF, you are DONE.

RememberingAlpha · 2015-09-29T21:59:31+00:00

Anyone else cringe really really hard just now

PemBayliss · 2015-09-29T21:12:46+00:00

She's not attracted to you. She views you as a friend, and any attempt to break out of the friendzone will result in disaster.

agree with u/abdada. The only way out of this is to never interact with this woman again, and take the pain. This woman has nothing for you, and is in fact taking advantage of you.

FrameWalker · 2015-09-29T23:38:24+00:00

Surely is a troll. If not sidebar dude.

machimus · 2015-09-29T21:34:44+00:00

Please, please read the sidebar resources on oneitis.

It's not a shit test, she's not trying to make sure you're worthy, she knows you're not. GFTOW.

buddboy · 2015-09-29T21:50:40+00:00

You don't have to break off all contact with her like other people said if you don't want to. I would however 100% stop contacting her first. If she asks you to hang out, and you really are okay with being "just friends" (although personally I don't believe you for a second, I think if you could have a sexual relationship with her you would take it in a second) then go ahead and hang out with her. But stop setting up friend dates. In fact even if she says yes to one of them, she may only be doing it because to a girl it is easy to say yes to a guy they don't like then to say no because they want to avoid conflict. It is kind of like when a girl gives an ugly guy her phone number, it is just less awkward in that moment than saying no and girls can't really think ahead so that's what they do.

Ask yourself, what would you actually gain by going to watch the sunrise with her? The satisfaction of pretending you have a girlfriend for about 45 minutes? Is that really worth the effort man? The redpill is all about facing reality. You need to face the reality that you want a sexual relationship with this girl and aren't getting it, and so are settling for the "next best thing" of texting and hanging out as friends. But that isn't the next best thing, it is just playing pretend, pretending to have something you don't have. Stop pretending, face reality, she doesn't like you, you will probably always be friend zoned, and she doesn't deserve any of your energy. Even if she is a perfectly nice person and deserves your respect, you deserve respect too, and you come first.

nemaxofredpill · 2015-09-29T23:08:31+00:00

I love her but she says she does not feel that way about me

What's so hard to understand here?

Stop being a creeper. Move on. You are putting yourself in the friend zone.

...help you understand our relationship better.

There is no relationship. You are a friend zoned orbiter.

Algernoq · 2015-09-29T23:38:58+00:00

I have a girl who is my best friend I love her

In memory of my Blue-pill high-school self, I'll drop some truth bombs on you. Buckle up.

You're fucked. You're too attracted to her to be her friend, and too insecure or unattractive to fuck her. You're not going to listen to TRP advice because you're in love and also young and stupid. Instead you'll listen to her complaining about being neglected by her asshole boyfriends. Eventually you'll be so torn apart by wanting her and not telling her that you'll end the friendship, but she'll still haunt your mind for years, giving you a whole butt-load of suffering that will wreck your mood and make you waste a few years with bad choices in other relationships and in work. Ask me how I know. You might get it together 5 years from now, you might stay blue-pill forever, but you're definitely fucked this year and in this "friendship".

I read your other thread: HUGS AREN'T SEXUAL. TALKING ABOUT FEMALE ISSUES IS NOT SEXUAL. If you're in love with her and she's not fucking you, don't hug her, and ask her out within the next 10min of talking with her.

If you want to be her friend, then emotional dump on her for a solid hour or so about your singleness and weird sexual thoughts and ask for her help getting into a relationship with (name of girl more attractive than her). If she listens and helps you, you might be able to be friends. TRP says not to do this because: 1. it's really really unattractive to be weak and dump emotionally 2. men who are successful with women give better advice 3. she will try to play you

In this post-feminist world, the way to a relationship is usually to start fucking first and agree to commitment later. This is because women want the best man available, and hot guys won't even consider commitment before a few months of fucking. The guys they don't have to fuck to get commitment (you now) are always an option for women. So they fuck the hot guys knowing that if it doesn't work out there'll be a guy like you to settle for. I wish it wasn't like that, but I've found that if you don't look for a relationship where you have sex, then you'll get a relationship where you never have sex.

Your texts are weak: First of all, go for the "relationship upgrade" in person, not over text. Over text she has time to overthink it, get nervous, talk to her friends for advice, not reply to you, then shoot you down. High-stakes conversations should be done in person. Second of all, you're not leading: you're asking questions, asking her to make plans and entertain you, you're looking for validation from her. Better TRP text: "sunrise hike this Saturday. you bring food, I bring blankets. I'll pick you up at 5:30". But this won't work for a relationship upgrade. This only works when she's already interested. And here, she's clearly not.

The relationship upgrade only works if she feels you're the best man she can get. You're probably not. Who does she want to fuck? Who is the most attractive man whom she imagines might commit to her? If you don't know this, you're not her best friend.

So: Don't reply to her text. The next time you see her (at school, in front of friends/parents/etc. anywhere) tell her she's too attractive to be friends with. Then, ask her to do (specific date thing) with you at (specific time). Be CONFIDENT that your life is awesome even if she rejects you. If she accepts, kiss her the next time you're alone. If she rejects you, don't settle for friendship that's making you unhappy. Stop talking to her, go do stuff that raises your value (learn and practice most of the time), and ask out other women.

Rick from the "rick and morty" show knows what's up

[deleted] · 2015-09-29T23:49:20+00:00

The solid gold advice here to never text her again is perhaps the ONLY, one-in-a-million, exhaust port 2 inches wide, hail mary chance you ever have of getting with this girl. Because its the only chance you will ever have to make her chase you instead of the chasing you've been doing. And if she doesn't, then you just got all your questions answered.

fnordsnord · 2015-09-30T04:25:09+00:00

as for being honest I have told her exactly how I feel about her 100% actually resonantly she told me not to anymore. Weird thing is when I stopped she seemed more receptive to kino and stuff... <<< You are never, ever going to be in a relationship with this girl.

If you stay around her, you are going to watch her date, and later tell you about banging, a parade of dudes who she thinks are BETTER THAN YOU. And that's going to hurt like getting hit in the stomach with a BALL PEEN HAMMER every time.

You CANNOT fix this. You CANNOT make it better.

No. Stop. What you're about type is wrong.

What you're thinking about typing NOW is wrong too.

I withdraw my earlier suggestion about trying to kiss her. That will just be awkward, and you'll get shot down again. It will also annoy her to no point.

If she yells "arm" at you when you put your arm around her she is trying to tell you that she finds you sexually repellent.

Clue roll here, little brother: You can't date a woman who finds you sexually repellent.

If you were my son, I would slap you. I would literally pop you across the side of your face with my open hand, using just about 20% of the strength of my right arm. Not as hard as I could - because I don't want to HURT you. I would do it to get our attention, because you're just frustrating the SHIT out of me because you're NOT LISTENING to anything any one's telling you because it's not what you want to hear. When you read the sentence above, you wanted to ask me how to make her find you attractive.

You CAN'T. Attraction isn't negotiable, and you don't do it for her.

You've got your answer. You've gotten it from me and from EVERY dude that's responded to you: You cannot have a relationship with this girl. If you keep trying, you will get hurt and eventually you'll creep her out to the point that she won't have fond memories of you.

I'm though talking to you until I see you post: I've broken off my friendship with the girl who used to be my best friend because it was making me miserable. When that happens, I'll try and help you get over it and maybe chase some skirts that are actually ATTRACTED to you.

Until then, you are choosing your misery. And I'm not hanging around you to watch that.

elatusa · 2015-09-30T05:34:49+00:00

Read No More Mr. Nice Guy
Read Rational Male Year One
Man the fuck up, attraction isn't negotiable

tautologicoxymoron · 2015-09-30T12:55:03+00:00

For the protocol, you are actually the bad guy here. You made your intentions clear and she said no. From this point on, you are no longer respecting her decision. You are trying to impose yourself on her like an annoying door-to-door salesman, because you are trying to sell a product she clearly does not want. This renders you the bad guy. The disney world fairy tail where you can win her over with persistent romantic gesture is a lie. No sunset will magically get her wet for you. You put yourself out there, if it works out great. If it doesn't move the fuck on.

_valtiel_ · 2015-09-30T02:40:55+00:00

Oh... She doesn't like you like that.

I'd tell you to be her friend if that's what you want. But that's not a good idea either. Especially if she doesn't add anything substantial to your life. This gjrl isn't likely to put you on to het friends because she probably enjoys your platonic attention.

My verdict is delete her number and unfollow her from social media, if she's your study partner at school, find another. I'm that thorough because I've been through the same as you, many have.

Find new friends. Cmon. She does nothing but give you blue balls. Clinging to little scraps (ioi) she throws at you will do you no good. The fact is they don't lead to anything and you know it because you tried.

Gypsy__ · 2015-09-30T04:00:37+00:00

Just please right now never call a girl your best friend they should never ever ever ever be your BEST friend that's your best man at your wedding period which wont be a girl

maybe she could be one of your good/close friends if you've known her a vast majority of your life HAVE hooked up with her at least once and you treat her like you would treat a dude as in you wouldn't put your arm around a dude

PM_ME_UR_IMAGINATION · 2015-09-30T04:02:31+00:00

You obviously have not read any of the sidebar material

Texting is for logistics only.

Forget about this chic, and move on.

life036 · 2015-09-30T07:29:41+00:00

Start by not using exclamation marks in your texts. You sound like a woman.

TankerBuzz · 2015-09-30T03:30:49+00:00

If she were a real friend she would know the only way to help you would be to leave you only for a long time till you have found interest in a new girl.

Cold hard facts is that she is using you... you have to leave and dont talk to her for a long time if not ever. When you start thinking of other girls and not her for a solid week, then perhaps you can say hi.

I know it will hurt for now but you will get over it and find a new girl that is better and treats you with respect.

What is the point following her around like a whipped dog not getting anywhere for the rest of your life?

Title	Friend Zone or Go Zone Shit Test?
Author	eforen
Upvotes	10
Comments	62
Date	September 29, 2015 9:01 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/3mvrkg/friend_zone_or_go_zone_shit_test/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/friend-zone-or-go-zone-shit-test.154508 https://theredarchive.com/post/154508

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