My insane level of rejection fear is ruining it for me M19

11c3v · 2025-05-27T00:26:18+00:00

by approaching, the more the better. good luck lad, you got this!

ThatDarnSmell · 2025-05-27T00:54:38+00:00

Dating isn't boxing. Your win:loss record means nothing and no one cares. Just consider it a learning experience and move on. Keep practicing until you're at the point where approaching people and talking to them is within your comfort zone.

ImpossibleBritches · 2025-05-27T01:04:41+00:00

Warm up.

Go out and start conversations with strangers.

Just short convos. Like, 30 seconds or a minute. Make an observation about something. Maybe compliment them on something they are wearing.

The goal is train your brain that you aren't going to die.

HistorianOk2573 · 2025-05-27T01:32:03+00:00

When someone says “X thing is creepy” what they really mean is “when i do x thing I feel creepy and therefore i am probably creepy”

This means that you are projecting your own insecurities and experiences onto the action. In other words, you believe that approaching makes it creepy, whereas the action itself might not inherently be seen as creepy by others.

For example, something as simple as giving a compliment can be seen as charming or flattering when done by someone who is confident, sincere, and socially aware. However, if the same compliment is delivered in a nervous, awkward, or overly intense way, it can be perceived as creepy.

Since you probably feel awkward or socially uncomfortable cold approaching, this in turn colors your perception of the action of cold approaching as being “creepy”.

As a result of that belief, if you were to cold-approach you would probably act nervous, avoid eye contact, or be overly hesitant, and those behaviours, that stem from your insecurity, could easily come off as strange and unsettling for others, and thus creepy creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.

So why do you feel uncomfortable?

Because deep down you believe approaching women who didn’t asked to be approached or who didn’t indicate an interest in wanting a romance or to be hit on, is intrusive, unwelcome and violates social norms or boundaries in a way that makes them feel uncomfortable

So how to approach a girl that didn’t signal any interest in a way which doesn’t make her feel uncomfortable or creeped out?

Let’s look at 3 very socially acceptable behaviours in social dynamics:

1 - Asking for consent.

2 - Complimenting non physical traits.

3 - Easing the tension by giving them a feeling of easy escape so they don’t feel trapped or pressured.

4 - Clearly state your intentions to prevent second-guessing and reduce wariness.

So now, to start a conversation forma cold approach, just use a combination o he 4 points before which i will put in brackets in the next following example:

“Hey, just one second before i go (3) the thing is I just saw you, and I like you style as you give off a very positive vibe (2), so i thought i don’t want to lose the opportunity to get to know you (4) briefly (3) if that’s cool with you (1).”

Notice how this is a polite and socially acceptable way to start a conversation in a way hay is direct without being creepy.

The woman has no reason to feel uncomfortable because you are asking for her consent which shows you respect boundaries, and you are also reassuring her that you have other shit t do or that you are in a rush because you said “briefly” implying that you will be gone soon, without forcing her to tell you to leave.

Now if she doesn’t grant you the consent or gives excuses like she is on a rush or has a boyfriend or whatever excuse, then the way you act is by gracefully telling her: “No worries, I just wanted to make your day anyway. Have a good one”.

That way you don’t create drama and everyone is happy.

See how you probably feel less anxious about coming creepy now that you know how it’s done to avoid discomfort?

Anonymous-Man-2024 · 2025-05-27T05:57:29+00:00

You overcome it by changing your speech, loving yourself and also not reading the bullshite bad programming in this sub and YT comments.

You're afraid because you have no social skills.

Go out into the world and talk to people, help old people, be nice to old person from that build self worth and make yourself so busy you don't have time to overthink like a total loser.

Get out of the losing mentality.

Telling yourself you cannot do something is hypnotising you to fail.

You can do anything when you put your mind to it.

smart_619 · 2025-05-27T01:46:37+00:00

Get in shape, love your job and accomplishments, wear good clothes, love your life and talk to everyone

Some of those people will be girls and they'll love you

Substantial-Bad-4508 · 2025-05-27T02:15:31+00:00

Start doing the research and come to your own conclusion as to what is YOUR path to success.

Once that is completed, as a beginner you can start out slow by hitting on women you are not attracted to. The key is to practice what you have learned in order to build your level of confidence in order to hit on women that you think are attractive. Otherwise, your nervous energy would just imply to them that you are a "low value man."

Most important above all is to HAVE FUN (which includes laughing at yourself) while you learn to teach yourself to have the gift of the gab.

TransitionNormal1387 · 2025-05-27T02:34:00+00:00

You have to lose some to win some. Rejection is not about your self worth, it’s always either incompatibility, or wrong time. But you have to face your fears. That’s what a man does.

Successful_Engine191 · 2025-05-27T03:39:56+00:00

Start by having casual conversations with strangers in proximity where rejection isn’t even a worry. Like food related conversation in the grocery store. Baby steps. Also helps to do a video talking service like Omegle.

PeterLamb87 · 2025-05-27T08:36:42+00:00

Try sales

HomelessMilkman · 2025-05-27T15:04:36+00:00

Rejection isn't the problem, it's valuable feedback.

The problem is being rejected and not knowing what went wrong, how to improve, how to take that feedback and adapt.

You will be rejected because being fearful means you don't present yourself very well. That's okay. That doesn't mean you're a defective piece of shit, it means that your communication skills aren't good enough, and you need to work on it.

Ironically, doing so is learning to put yourself in situations and relax. "The only way to interact with a feeling is by feeling it"; the issue, like many, is that you spend so much effort trying to avoid and 'cope' with the feeling that you never process and overcome it.

Feeling is processing, you have to 'get to the other side'. I know it's painful, I know it's difficult, it's why you're stuck; then again, you go through far greater pain and effort trying not to feel uncomfortable. It's actually far easier not to resist, tense up, try to find a way around, than it is to accept and let it do what it has to. It solves itself, you have to stop getting in the way.

Flat-Zombie-95 · 2025-05-28T17:27:02+00:00

Dont label it so you can further overthink and analyze whats blocking you. You have to brute force your way into having a better time at approaching. Like expect it to take dozens and dozens of attempts and even when youre better at it the success rate is really low but it will be better than the bozo that swiped right a million times on tinder just for a few matches. But think of it as learning how to flirt and youll always be learning but dont think too hard about expectations.

Title	My insane level of rejection fear is ruining it for me M19
Author	SiyahBeyazAyiFedaisi
Upvotes	17
Comments	28
Date	May 26, 2025 11:57 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1kw9csm/my_insane_level_of_rejection_fear_is_ruining_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/my-insane-level-of-rejection-fear-is-ruining-it.1553149 https://theredarchive.com/post/1553149

Comments