She just told me she wants a divorce

DevinB12 · 2025-05-28T04:46:52+00:00

It’s tough man but will get better. I’m 2.5 months in and thought my world was ending… it has been hard but I’ve gotten to this point… you can do it too!

soontobesolo · 2025-05-27T13:30:41+00:00

You need to get ahead of this and prepare, legally. You have a lot at stake right now.

https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1f4yhuc/my_advice_to_those_starting_down_this_path/

Helpful-Paramedic463 · 2025-05-27T09:23:14+00:00

First, I'm sorry this happened to you.

My wife pulled the same card but in reality she used her "depression" as a way to mask her infidelity.

Before you do anything, check out your finances, her social media, who she's been texting, and pull up your cell phone records and see who she's been texting.

You'll immediately rule out familiar numbers but there will be some that are not known. Investigate.

Exactly65536 · 2025-05-27T09:04:59+00:00

I found that this sub is one of the best resources out there.

It's not even advice, it's just understanding that many people go through it and the same time as you do; some are further along the path, some are just thinking about starting it; some do better, some do worse; there are common problems and common solutions. And, probably more improtant, there are a lot of people who are sympathetic to your plight.

Other than that, find a good therapist and talk to him or her; but that's fine to feel loneliness. Therapists are not companions and should not become companions, they are mirrors and guides.

As for immediate action, work might be good for you. It's a distraction and if there is a mechanical component, it stabilizes your psyche. Of course, you performance will be shit whatever you do, but you'd be better of doing something than just thinkning the same thoughts over and over (it's okay to think them once or twice, just if you catch yourself on a third repetition - snap out of it).

And then, treat it as a project. Set goals. Identify risks and opportunities. Create a plan. Take into account your and your opponent strengths and weaknesses.

MonkeyBranchBuster · 2025-05-27T08:12:33+00:00

Welcome to the club nobody wants to be a part of, we are legion.

Take it day by day for now, eat, sleep, don't chase her and do anything rash for at least a month until your head clears up.

Thebadmamajama · 2025-05-27T03:44:03+00:00

you're stronger than you know. it's worth talking to a therapist or a close friend (recognize they only have so much bandwidth for you venting too).

journalling helps. get a blank journal, keep it locked away some place, first thing in the morning, just write two pages of stream of consciousness... after a few weeks I came to accept what was happening.

focus on the job... you want to keep other things in your life stable.. (work, health, exercise, friends, etc). she doesn't get to dictate those things for you.

EnvironmentalAd3558 · 2025-05-27T01:44:06+00:00

Time for you to upgrade. First yourself.

OldGuyNewTrix · 2025-05-27T00:37:22+00:00

It random lots of times these days. My wife of 12, 2 kids randomly told me one night she’s been unhappy for a long time, and wants a divorce. Final decision. Though a month before she was telling me how much she loved me and appreciated me. Can’t try to make sense of it. I personally think it’s trendy to be an independent divorced woman nowadays.

Title	She just told me she wants a divorce
Author	Oscar_the_grouchiest
Upvotes	19
Comments	21
Date	May 26, 2025 11:05 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1kw89w6/she_just_told_me_she_wants_a_divorce/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/she-just-told-me-she-wants-a-divorce.1553183 https://theredarchive.com/post/1553183

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