Get Plenty of Matches, but only End Up Going in Dates with women who aren’t my type

TransitionNormal1387 · 2025-05-29T05:01:54+00:00

Unfortunately for 99% of men on dating apps, you take what you can get. Women get to choose who they want. You either get lucky by keep trying on the apps or find women irl that are available right place at the right time.

ThatDarnSmell · 2025-05-29T06:38:46+00:00

The apps are different these days. Probably way over half of accounts are bots. And among those who are real women, they have pick of the litter. A potentially desirable woman is basically like a Harvard admissions council. She can just sit back and watch all the candidates roll in while only selecting what she perceives to be the best based upon her criteria. It used to be much better when writing strong profiles was as important as just dumping a roll of photos.

If you're 22, you shouldn't need online dating. You're still in the college to barely post-college range. That's by far the easiest time in your life to meet women when you are 18-24 or so. If you still live on campus, then just ditch the apps all together and work your environment.

fookincharlie · 2025-05-29T05:25:01+00:00

Even Stefan-Pierre Tomlin ultimately found the most dating success outside of Tinder.

But you may consider having professional photos taken, deleting your account, and making new accounts with better quality pictures.

norwegiandoggo · 2025-05-29T06:48:19+00:00

Better looks, better pictures, better profile info, better messages.

There's no magic to it. Just be better in all areas that you can control

SonyHDSmartTV · 2025-05-29T11:25:49+00:00

Best way to be happy in a relationship is to lower your standards. If you get a girl that thinks you're amazing and extremely attractive then it makes your life easy. If you're attracted to her as well then it's all good.

The more attractive women you're aiming for, the more attractive you need to be. Give a chance to some of the less obviously attractive women and one will eventually surprise you. I'm dating a girl at the moment I didn't think was that attractive just from pictures, but we had a few things in common and I was bored so I arranged a date. I find her way more attractive in person than I thought from her pictures - she's not as interested in her appearance as most women so doesn't take great pictures. But she is still hot and we just have good chemistry that creates attraction between us. If I was judging from pictures alone I would not have gone on a date with her and never met her.

videogames_ · 2025-05-30T05:53:46+00:00

Either max your looks and photos more or meet women in real life where they are less shallow..

becomesharp · 2025-05-29T07:51:58+00:00

The apps are skewed due to algos and supply/demand so generally speaking, a lot of guys will struggle to date even women at their same attractiveness level because of the supply/demand inequality.

Most guys will match with and/or be able to date women 1-2 points below their own level of attractiveness. If you're lucky and you have a good profile, you can often match with women at your level. But it is relatively rare to consistently match with women who are MORE attractive than you, unless you have some unique advantage (e.g., celeb on raya).

For most guys who aren't tall and good looking, online dating is good for quantity and getting some dating experience if you're a beginner. It's relatively poor for finding 'the one' and/or dating women more attractive than you.

Use cold/warm approach and social circle for that.

That said, if you're already matching with women you find attractive and are just not succeeding at getting them on dates, you can optimize your messaging/texting to increase the probabilities. Odds still aren't amazing given that she also matched with 30 guys who are significantly more attractive than you, but good skill can give you a fighting chance.

nordik1 · 2025-05-29T05:31:20+00:00

Only way to separate yourself is look as attractive as humanly possible (because you’ll typically be dating 1-2 points down on an app) and flex lifestyle photos

From there it’s a roll of the dice if the top tier girls reply or not and most simply won’t

Conscious-Smell-8844 · 2025-05-29T13:55:02+00:00

-getting matches with the women I swipe on

-never seem to be able to close the deal on the ones that I match with that I find most attractive

-probably more competition for these women

-always end up getting ghosted or poor responses from women I’m more attracted

How do I separate myself out from the competition further?

Cold Approach

UrbanUnrivaled · 2025-05-31T12:42:44+00:00

Dude go out and meet people instead of letting the apps emasculate you and take away your power as a man in life.

Title	Get Plenty of Matches, but only End Up Going in Dates with women who aren’t my type
Author	Tragedyofthe
Upvotes	19
Comments	10
Date	May 29, 2025 4:39 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1ky229m/get_plenty_of_matches_but_only_end_up_going_in/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/get-plenty-of-matches-but-only-end-up-going-in.1553403 https://theredarchive.com/post/1553403

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