Father loses custody after refusing to affirm 2-year-old’s gender identity what are the limits of parental rights?

ZaphodBeetly · 2025-06-01T17:16:20+00:00

Don't marry or have kids in California. It is bad enough for men in any state but California is the worst.

PrefixThenSuffix · 2025-06-01T18:13:30+00:00

"We just want you to accept us."

"You're a bigot if you don't celebrate us."

"You're fired if you don't declare your allegiance to us."

"You're cast out of society if you don't like us indoctrinating your children."

"We'll take away your children if you don't let us mutilate them."

CauliflowerBig3133 · 2025-06-01T17:15:07+00:00

They want to force kids into being trans

throwaway195472974 · 2025-06-01T18:56:13+00:00

I would be happy if my kid stopped trying to eat the TV remote by age 2. I got no expectation that she already understands what a gender is and why people think she needs one.

Keep_the_kid · 2025-06-01T18:39:12+00:00

A bill like this just passed in my state of Colorado

walterwallcarpet · 2025-06-01T20:22:49+00:00

The situation appears to be far from rare. https://www.orthodoxytoday.org/blog/2025/04/castrating-boys-symbolizes-the-castration-of-america/

stent00 · 2025-06-01T17:24:47+00:00

Commieformia strikes again...

Winter_Reveal_5894 · 2025-06-01T23:08:09+00:00

This is an incredibly frustrating story to read.

The information on the story is sparse, and every article about it is pushing an agenda in one way or another.

The mother alleged abuse against the father as early as 2020. She claims he yelled at her, left her nasty text messages, lunged at her, pushed her against a wall and choked her. But according to the LA Times:

Carbone also detailed her own arrest in April 2020, after Vena called the police amid a fight involving Carbone’s mother. Carbone said she had asked Vena to leave the family home after he “callously” threw a water balloon at her older special-needs son and that Vena had erupted in anger.

She wrote that Vena started screaming at her and her mother, “calling her names and lunging at her.” She wrote that she hit him once in the back of the head with an open hand, in self-defense, before Vena “pinned me up against the wall.”

She was arrested for domestic violence for hitting him in the back of the head ... in self-defense? How do you hit someone in the back of the head in self-defense? And wouldn't this mean that she was the only person with indisputable evidence of having abused him?

When the child was three years old, he told his father that he had a pink dress. Does this sound to anyone like he was being coached by the mother to provoke the father, so she could use the evidence against him in court?

Then she claims he has become a media darling because he has "a way with words," but on the other hand, he's a hothead who can't control his temper and screams at her constantly.

The entire situation is a mess. I don't know. I don't understand why the mother's documented physical abuse was apparently a non-issue in receiving full custody. Perhaps being a woman means that you're allowed to hit men without repercussion.

NAFBYneverever · 2025-06-01T18:09:16+00:00

Apparantly in Canada, parents don't get rights. They get "parental responsibilities". Pretty scary, actually.

Ippomasters · 2025-06-01T21:02:56+00:00

Its a social virus the trans agenda. How is a child gonna know they're the opposite gender. This is more democrats being pedos.

Mefic_vest · 2025-06-01T18:45:13+00:00

There is no way a two-year-old can have a well-defined, consciously-articulated gender identity.

Maybe at 5, probably by 7, definitely by 10. But at 2? Wow.

My own parents were extremely poor, so when I was very young (under the age of 5-6) they saved on pants by throwing a neighbour’s hand-me-down dress on me. That didn’t make me a girl any more than putting pants on a girl makes them a boy.

Now, gender identity is “baked into the pie” during conception and initial development. But like anything being built, be it biological processes or physically assembled, things are not going to emerge until most parts are in place and functional. And neurological development is one of the biggies - that needs time.

Forsaken_Platypus_32 · 2025-06-02T05:06:47+00:00

They weaponize the state like fascists to take away people's children, but have a problem with being called that. 🤷🏿‍♂️

CutiePie0023 · 2025-06-02T10:10:11+00:00

That poor little boy deserves so much better and is flat out being abused by the mom. A two year old (or any child) doesn’t just think like that..I mean they are TWO lol. Let kids just be kids. And that poor father just trying to protect his son from a monster. Moral of the story folks..Don’t ever have kids with a psycho woman in California (not just Cali, unfortunately there are women like this everywhere)

Slow_Outcum420 · 2025-06-01T23:10:02+00:00

My bets is there is a lot of untold parts to this story.

YetAnotherCommenter · 2025-06-02T04:49:33+00:00

Pediatric gender dysphoria is not a simple issue, especially when we have all the desisters, all the detransitioners, as well as all the transtrenders (people who adopt a transgender identity through having a goth makeover and changing their pronouns and being obnoxiously woke, but not actually transitioning). And their political/ideological enablers, such as those people in WPATH who tried to turn "eunuch" into a valid gender identity.

And can a 2-year-old really express something like gender identity in a meaningful way?

I think it's ridiculous that anyone could think it. Trans people are real, but most people require until mid-adolescence to fully work out what their sexual orientation and gender identity are (in many cases some people who experience gender dysphoria are actually just gay or bisexual and struggling with that). Toddlers are also highly susceptible to wanting to appease their parents and the mother has a documented record of domestic violence.

So frankly this sounds to me like a mother using the law to engage in a form of parental alienation. Coach the kid to pretend they have GD, use the father's suspicion as proof the father is abusive, remove the father from the household, she gets the children.

Is this a one-off situation or part of a bigger trend?

There are a handful of situations in which this same thing has arguably happened. I certainly HOPE it doesn't become massively widespread, but whether it is simply manipulative parents trying to engage in parental alienation, or whether its Munchausen's by Proxy, or whether it's a misandrist mother depressed she had a son instead of a daughter, even a single case is horrifying.

AutoModerator · 2025-06-01T20:17:07+00:00

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aigars2 · 2025-06-02T08:52:37+00:00

That's child abuse from ex-wife.

Few_Needleworker8744 · 2025-06-02T14:33:08+00:00

Don't ever get married. Also as much as possible get this in writing.

TubularBrainRevolt · 2025-06-02T18:47:20+00:00

Isn’t all this gender identity nonsense dying down now? Do people still uphold it in significant numbers?

RadishPotential418 · 2025-06-02T05:06:30+00:00

You really think he got a 5 year restraining order because his wife said their kid was a girl and he didnt agree? You're completely delusional if you think this shit is real outside of the internet.

Wittehbawx · 2025-06-02T02:06:58+00:00

Good! the child should not have a transphobe as a father

erik_reeds · 2025-06-02T00:26:41+00:00

affirming the identities of children is a child safety issue, and if you're not willing to be able to affirm their identities even if it goes against how you personally see other adults, you aren't cut out to be a parent. i am glad the courts are acting on this

ScienceAteMyKid · 2025-06-01T18:06:51+00:00

There are surely other reasons. He could be abusive, he could have a history of severe addiction, he could be on parole, he could have made viable threats, he could have psychiatric problems…

No one’s going to have a restraining order simply because he doesn’t agree to the idea that a toddler is trans.

Edit: the downvotes look like a collective tantrum from which all I hear is, “No, it’s the trannies! It’s the ONLY possibility!” Seriously, no one, even here in socialist-commie-feminist-man-hating California, is issuing a restraining order because a dude thinks trans people are gross.

Title	Father loses custody after refusing to affirm 2-year-old’s gender identity what are the limits of parental rights?
Author	como_ceviche
Upvotes	260
Comments	109
Date	June 1, 2025 5:12 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1l0u8cp/father_loses_custody_after_refusing_to_affirm/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/father-loses-custody-after-refusing-to-affirm-2.1553640 https://theredarchive.com/post/1553640

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