New to dating and struggling. How can I get better?

Most-Famous-Wasabi · 2025-07-22T01:07:08+00:00

Somebody should really create a beginners guide and add it to the sidebar.

Known-Student-381 · 2025-07-22T01:17:26+00:00

What do you consider your strengths? are you witty? can you make people laugh? big social circle? good features? skillful? been to therapy? anything else?

You're tall, which is always a plus, but you're damn lean at 150lbs. Not a bad archetype, by any means, but it gives you a certain 'brand' that you'll want to consider. If it doesn't harmonize with the rest of you as a person, it doesn't offer much of an edge off the apps (where you will be included in significantly more search results).

Pitch yourself to me (don't worry I'm not judging; I want your perspective on you), and we can have a productive discussion of how you make them your edge. Blanket advice won't serve imo.

edit: Oh. and I do recommend the gym 110%. Literally changed my life. Didn't get me much more play afaik (I have confidence issues in other areas. I get more attention and squander it completely), but I wouldn't trade the lifestyle for anything.

nothingcrazy_ · 2025-07-22T01:18:47+00:00

If you suck at texting your two options are to keep practicing or to text as little as possible until you actually meet.

>What are some good places to practice cold approach

Personally I don't cold approach outside the club, but at the club I literally just point blank ask girls if they want to dance. It pretty much breaks through every psychological barrier for both of you, everything afterwards becomes so much easier.

Rhino3750ss · 2025-07-22T01:42:48+00:00

You get better at dating by not caring about dating. You can't care if you get the date or get laid. If you do, whichever girl you are talking to will feel like you can't do better than her. You have to stay out of "try hard" energy, which means be social with women and detached from their beauty simultaneously.

You don't need strategies or tactics, you need to appear preselected, which means u have zero urgency in your tone, cadence, body movements, subject matter and communication patterns. It's the way to have an edge over Chad because your appearance and physicality is second priority to a woman's emotions; your perceived preselection level (sexual value) is first priority.

Objective_Shallot879 · 2025-07-22T01:16:58+00:00

We've all been there, kudos for realizing this early and wanting to improve. Most guys stay stuck in the same patterns for years without even knowing what they’re doing wrong. So you're already ahead.

Here’s what worked for me when I started out:

Cold approach practice: Bars, casual events, or even coffee shops are great because the energy is more social. Start with small talk with anyone, not just girls, to build up your social state.
Flirting & tension: This is all about timing, teasing, and pacing. Most guys either stay too “friendly” or jump into trying to be sexual too early. A simple push/pull (tease her, then compliment her) works well.
Review your interactions: One game-changer for me was actually reviewing my dates and approaches. I started writing down what I said and what she responded with, and I learned a ton about where I missed opportunities to escalate or flirt.

In fact, I’m building a tool right now that takes this to the next level, it lets you record your date or cold approach (like a voice memo on your phone) and then gives you feedback on flirting, missed moments to escalate or tease. It’s something I want to use to continue improving my game.

If you want, hit me up and I’ll share it with you when I have the first version ready.

weird-but-hawt · 2025-07-22T14:44:43+00:00

You dont shower them with attention and use indifference to your advantage.

Watch coach corey wane on youtube. He covers everything

Everything is already out there, dont fall into the same trap everyone falls into by staying asking for advice to numb tge struggle.

It took me 6years of loneliness to get to this point! What Changed? I don't give a fuck anymore and now i regret i didn't focus more on my purpose

Life-Income2986 · 2025-07-22T02:34:30+00:00

So you are going from completely clueless and incompetent to trying your hand at the hardest type of interpersonal relationship to manage that we have in our society? There is no advice here, or anywhere that will help you. There are not lines you can say that can make up for your lazy social decisions up until this point. Go and make friends. You're not ready for dating.

Intelligent-Roll-763 · 2025-07-24T00:18:42+00:00

From what I'm reading you are focused on the apps. I have no clue how to date on the apps because I left that stuff years ago. But when it comes to cold approach I know a thing or two . I think the first step before you focus on anything else should be to get rid of approach anxiety. It can be an insidious feeling that will cause friction and slow down your results along the way . So get rid of it first . Then learn how to connect with strangers. It took me two months more or less to get good enough at talking to women in public places to lose my virginity. I worked hard and I was lucky to even get the right guidance , which leads us to today a year later, I am having sex twice a week on average. And I have a rotation to choose from if I want a gf. I'm not the smartest guy so it would take another guy even less time to get those kinds of results. Only issue is most of the advice you find out there is wrong or outdated.

TallGrowth5530 · 2025-07-22T13:49:22+00:00

Get to 200 lbs

Title	New to dating and struggling. How can I get better?
Author	DownloadedSkills
Upvotes	4
Comments	24
Date	July 22, 2025 1:03 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1m60key/new_to_dating_and_struggling_how_can_i_get_better/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/new-to-dating-and-struggling-how-can-i-get-better.1557673 https://theredarchive.com/post/1557673

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