Tell me if i am wrong here - i believe a potential stepdad should hold off on marrying a divorced woman with young kids if they have a good dad in the picture who is trying to get 50/50 custody, and is fit and able to do so. If he knows the dad is devastated at having gotten every other weekend custody by the court because that’s what the mom wanted. The stepdad marrying the mom and being seen by the court as a stabilizing force for a family unit will make it extremely difficult for the dad to ever get equal custody and remain the primary father figure in their life. If the potential stepdad has integrity and wants to do the right thing and not steal their father’s role, he should either advocate for the dad to get 50/50 with the wife, or be willing to walk away.