The False Narrative Around Male Loneliness: Framed as Incels, Desperate Men, and Misandry

Joker_01884 · 2025-09-03T02:21:23+00:00

While relationship issues certainly exist, they do not constitute the core problem and must be distinguished from the fundamental cause of male loneliness.

GarlicFalse3779 · 2025-09-03T06:15:59+00:00

Once a man starts working, even if he is single, it becomes difficult to go out after work to meet up, especially when he works overtime.....

TreeTopsPyrography · 2025-09-03T04:14:53+00:00

When they say "have sex incel" they're fundamentally misunderstanding the problem. Sex is easy, dogs can have sex. Men want meaningful connections and in the case of a woman, someone that is affectionate towards them. Sex is just proof of that affection.

Their obsession with sex is telling to what they value most, which is a shame because there is so much more to human relationships than getting your dick wet. It's like they're revealing themselves as strange perverts.

shingaladaz · 2025-09-03T08:20:59+00:00

Married man with two kids here. I’m lonely as hell.

wingedhussar161 · 2025-09-03T09:29:46+00:00

Very important issue. In the US I find that guys around my age (20s/30s) don't tend to prioritize social engagements. Part of this is due to capitalism - corporations squeezing every last drop out of us means people are working more hours for less pay, but simply put it's a hyperindividualistic culture and I wish folks would be more open to meeting new friends.

I think the dark side of "stranger danger" is that our generation grew to be wary of strangers and of meeting new people.

We gotta pioneer new ways of bringing folks together.

Ambitious_South_2825 · 2025-09-03T02:40:08+00:00

I couldn't care less about the aspect of getting laid. That aspect always came easy to me (I've been good-looking my adult life unfortunately). My 'loneliness' is the inability to build meaningful relationships with both sexes. Either I'm invoking envy, my interests don't align or I've run into female friendships that weren't what I imagined they were; friendships.

People, to me, are more tribal than what they have been in recent memory. I partly blame social media and the curation of social bubbles for this. Unless you're already accepted into the imagined 'tribe' you're going to have a rough go of it.

World-Three · 2025-09-03T07:36:17+00:00

When making male friends is seen as a cope, or your most vivid experiences of "friendship" is work or hobby related acquaintances that will shatter as soon as you don't share the same job or specific hobby they have, friendship feels like an effort to make mutual use seem like more than it really is. Why get used by a boy, if they could just be used by a girl, since they'd typically at least be attracted to that girl?

Video games are falling off for similar reasons... Free to play games are still a gold rush because most of them are social. You don't have to worry about sending someone 80 dollars under (more if they didn't pay for an online subscription yet) just to hang out on a "friendship" that is likely the aforementioned shitty circumstance.

When the things we use to be more social, stop helping us be social... It becomes a waste of money and or time. We pay for phone service when scammers and employers are the only people that remind me I have a phone? I get an email? Less than 0.005% chance it's from a person. Swiping on dating apps and dropping the same one liner to every girl you match. Interaction becomes braindead and worthless unless it matures, worse if you get rejected AFTER you spend money.

Men are tired... And when most of the interactions are fake, the phone ringing, email pinging, and friend list chiming stop being fun.

It should be EASIER. Way more people play video games now, have Netflix, have a phone, more games than ever are FREE, we have huge TVs now instead of the 32 inch CRT TVs or the 52 inch rear projection TVs that looked odd, projectors are actually GOOD now and don't make people dizzy by looking at it too long. But now that we have all of the things necessary to cultivate an easy lasting friendship... It feels like we all have the equivalent of a closet full of board games and cards that no one even wants to play with.

I'm not a braggart... Having a bunch of shit just to say I have it isn't actually fun. But that's the only type of person that seems to come out on top of the situation. The people posting about their 6 star gacha pulls, rare trading cards, their insane mansions or fancy cars, their huge game collection they never have time to play. It's all so stupid, but the influential nature of it all makes companies money hand over fist. I guess that's worth more than we are.

Nalyd87 · 2025-09-04T04:59:59+00:00

I don't have any friends and at this point I don't give a fuck anymore.

I came into this world alone I'll die alone.

Joker_01884 · 2025-09-03T02:22:40+00:00

In my previous post, I didn’t provide links for my claims, and some men and women took the chance to bash it. So here’s a proper follow up with sources to back up the points I made. I hope it helps everyone.

Rare-Discipline3774 · 2025-09-03T02:41:27+00:00

It's really not about friendship.

It has always been about romantic lonliness.

Men overall have less friends than women, but are known for closer bonds.

What i have seen a lack of is, what i call, para-romantic friendship, aka platonic love, or philia. Which is something men largely had before feminism and the demonization of men and masculinity. While women, generally, seem to have quite taken to the idea.

What conservatives and feminists call "traditional masculinity" only dates back to the 50s. Philia was once the norm among men only a few generations ago.

jessi387 · 2025-09-03T05:15:48+00:00

This is a very good take

Capable_Camp2464 · 2025-09-03T03:58:09+00:00

I had this argument previously. There are some in here who sit within an echo chamber and will argue until they're blue in the face that the loneliness epidemic has nothing to do with male friendships, despite mountains of evidence to the contrary. This plays nicely into the argument that men only care about getting laid etc...that get trotted out.

Totenkopf_Division · 2025-09-03T12:08:41+00:00

No. It is both. Both male brotherhood and female absence.

Which_Ad_3917 · 2025-09-03T07:08:09+00:00

I think this is also part of a larger trend in society affecting all. The internet divides us into hyper specific tribes and we are simply forgetting how to tolerate others. Hence, less friends.

But still, I’ve removed all friends who don’t talk to me about their feelings and I have been devoting energy to the ones who do. It’s a small number of people, but I know I have people who have my back as I have theirs. Reach out to your good friends.

Iriltlirl · 2025-09-06T02:46:01+00:00

As every American adult male can attest, there is no going out to do anything - exercise, get a drink, get a slice of pizza, etc. - without some fat, half naked woman trying to stuff herself in your face or view or to gobble up all the oxygen in the room. Because they are desperate to find a man to snag to support them.

Having male friends gets in the way of that agenda, and so every man with male friends is, somehow, "gay"/bad. And so, pursuing and cultivating ordinary friendships as a man is discouraged and punished by society. Duh, American men are lonely - 'I wonder why...? Anyone know??'

It's comical. We have traveled very far from Rodney Dangerfield's "Take my wife... PLEASE!" era. Now it's the era of "I want to die so I can be with my wife again!!!" LOL 'Pathetic' is a word that only starts to describe the modern American man's place in popular culture.

MsChaCha14 · 2025-09-03T16:30:53+00:00

Genuine question: if the epidemic has nothing to do with women, why are women often blamed for it and why is it often brought up by men when they get rejected or when women talk about stuff like dating preferences?

Title	The False Narrative Around Male Loneliness: Framed as Incels, Desperate Men, and Misandry
Author	Joker_01884
Upvotes	256
Comments	30
Date	September 3, 2025 2:19 AM UTC (10 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1n72u7e/the_false_narrative_around_male_loneliness_framed/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/the-false-narrative-around-male-loneliness-framed.1561151 https://theredarchive.com/post/1561151

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