My head feels foggy and my chest feels empty. I don’t even know why. I feel guilty and I can’t put my finger on it. I’ve been divorced for 10 months and I think part of it has to do with how I acted this week. I went out, messed around with some women, and then yesterday I posted a gym pic on my story. I looked fit. Honestly the purpose was to attract women. I even put music on it. It’s music I actually like but not the kind of music I like people to know I like.

The thing is I usually carry myself as a family man. Husband. Dad. Someone with values. And I miss that life. I’m not that guy anymore but I still see myself that way. So when I act in ways that don’t line up with that image it leaves me feeling guilty and foggy. It feels like cognitive dissonance. The person I see myself as and the actions I’m taking don’t match up and it’s eating at me.

I don’t know if anyone else has felt like this. Missing the old family life but also trying to figure out how to live single again. It’s confusing.

Extra details: was with ex-wife for 17 yrs I am 33 years old. One of the women I messed with is the daughter of an old friend. She’s 24 now. <—- this one is probably the one I’m the most guilty of. Having a daughter my self, this one stings.