Questions from a guy

Punder_man · 2025-09-21T01:04:51+00:00

But this is what I don't get; We live in a world where women experience sexual assault and harassment, largely at the hands of men. Many women tell stories of being harassed and threatened by men at very young ages. Women are discriminated against in hiring, face discrimination in the medical system, et cetera. The majority of positions of power are held by men. These are facts backed up by statistics.

We also live in a world where men in multiple countries are forced to be drafted / conscripted into the military in order to receive the right to vote, get a drivers license or get government financial assistance, women meanwhile get all of that without the requirement of being drafted.

We live in a world where in most countries men are more likely to be arrested, charged and sentenced for their crimes compared to women, in many cases a woman is flat out 50% less likely to get a jail sentence for her crimes and when she does it is often 60% shorter than what a man would get for the same crime.

We also live in a world where men make up over 96% of workplace fatalities, and well over 80% of the homeless population.

We also live in a world where a man can be falsely accused of rape by a woman, sit in jail if he can't make bond, potentially be convicted and sentenced for a crime he did not commit and spend YEARS in prison on a false accusation and even if that doesn't happen he can and often will lose his job / career, friends and family over the false accusation. And when it comes to light that he is actually the victim of a false accusation he has to fight tooth and nail for any sort of compensation and rarely will the woman who falsely accused him be held accountable for her lies.

We also live in a world where a woman can be married to a man, cheat on him with another man, get pregnant, LIE to her partner about the paternity of the child / children and when the man finds out he will still be forced to pay child support for children that aren't biologically his.
And if he divorces because of this? well the woman is still often entitled to half his assets, alimony, child support etc.

I could go on about how men are absolutely discriminated against in our current society.
My point here is.. if we live in a "Patriarchy" as claimed by feminists, specifically one which they proclaim exists to "Benefit / protect men at the cost / oppression of women" then many of the above points i've made should not exist..

Also, you have fallen into the Apex fallacy with your line about: "The majority of positions of power are held by men."
Regardless of this being true, you are acting as though because of the majority of positions of power are held by men, it means that ALL men hold positions of power when this is not the case.

The majority of the "Bottom" positions in society are also held by men but this seems to always be conveniently ignored in favor of pushing the narrative that we live in an oppressive "Patriarchy" designed to only benefit men.

HyakuBikki · 2025-09-21T01:28:38+00:00

"women are discriminated against in hiring" it's far easier to find a job and get scholarships as a woman than a man, so this is a straight up lie

BlockBadger · 2025-09-21T01:13:10+00:00

I would recommend reading through r/thetinmen

You mention a lot of things you believe are backed up by stats, but the truth behind the numbers is often obscured. The UN for instance considers women having better development index than men to be ideal equality, regardless of how much advantage they have.

It’s also be found that all AI recruitment software favours women over men, something that is in mainstream use by industry giants.

BrainSuccubus · 2025-09-21T00:48:12+00:00

Because just as many men suffer those same things at the hands of women, they're just discouraged from recognizing it and speaking up.

I'm a woman, by the way.

DeNeRlX · 2025-09-21T01:19:02+00:00

I'll simply answer on the points of sexual harassment/assault from the perspective of an intersectional progressive;

Not a single woman who is a victim needs to have their victim status dismissed by equally including men in that discussion as possible victims, and using gender-neutral language both for victims and perpetrators. The single biggest shift in self-reported rape/SA statistics is between when men are asked if they identify as a victim of those things and when acts that constitute rape/SA happened to them without those words being present. That difference is why it is important to make the proactive move to not reflexively talk about it as a man-on-woman thing. Make men have an easier time confronting it and working through their trauma. And in turn, this will make them have a better time having better relations to women (who statistically are their most common perpetrators).

I don't have link on me but TheTinMen has a post on it a few months ago, you can find his info-graphics with citations on Reddit, though there was some drama here and he left this sub.

Punder_man · 2025-09-21T04:01:12+00:00

I'll also add, take OP's words with a very heavy pinch of salt..
https://www.reddit.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/comments/1n58bjt/comment/nef8ay2/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

After all they seem to imply that despite the fact that feminists continue to demonize and vilify men, we should support them regardless of that:

"I recognize that it sucks to be generalized. I get it. It makes you feel bad. But women can't walk down the street safely. Women don't get treated fairly in the workplace. Women are losing the right to abortion. Naturally some women are gonna be angry and make generalizations about men. Feminism is important and you should support it even if some feminists say things that hurt your feelings."

They seem to parrot much of the classic feminist rhetoric..
Seems pretty clear OP is at the very least a feminist concern troll..

Punder_man · 2025-09-21T20:23:25+00:00

u/CharmingLion1811 Are you going to respond to anything said here?
Or was this simply a flyby attempt to concern troll us / try to get us to accept Feminism as our lord and savior?

Dry-Appearance-546 · 2025-09-21T04:07:00+00:00

Patriarchy, as defined by feminists, has never been proven. The assertion that most formal positions of power are held by men is accurate, but the assertion that men as a group opress women as a group is insane, and the fact that society swallowed this propaganda to any degree is very telling

Present_League9106 · 2025-09-23T00:25:47+00:00

Well, I mean men experience sexual assault and harassment at comparable levels to women mostly at the hands of women. Why is the outrage so much less comparable. Also, what do jeff bezos and 99% of men have in common aside from a (usually) y chromosome. On the first, information is very disparately leveraged. On the second, it doesn't take a lot of consideration to realize that's a bad argument. Then you have to ask yourself why is information dissemination so poor and what does that imply. But, no offense, thinking isn't really what feminism relies on. That last sentence is why people believe we live in a patriarchy.

KPplumbingBob · 2025-09-22T12:16:57+00:00

Why do you reject the idea that women are an oppressed and discriminated group?

Because they are not and you are looking at only one side of the story and completely ignoring the way men are discriminated against as well. If you only care about women your conclusion will always be that they are worse off.

It is always wild to me to see actual men write things like "men hold all the power". Do you hold any power? Congrats, you are the same as the other 99.999% of men. Meanwhile, the bottom of the society is also mostly men. This patriarchy seems like a shitty system if the goal was for it to benefit men.

Women being discriminated against in hiring and facing discrimination in the medical system are not facts backed by statistics.

Femi_gnatzee_hunter · 2025-09-23T00:36:39+00:00

Male on female rape is illegal and highly stigmatized, female on male rape is often seen as acceptable or even funny, and is legal in many places, or a lesser offence than male on female. Next question

Langland88 · 2025-09-21T01:00:18+00:00

Look there might have been a Patriarchy in our history. I don't think it exists now. We have had several first world nations that had their head of state ran by a woman. Sure my nation, the USA, hasn't had a female President but we had a female VP.

Now with that said, there are still several ways that men get discriminated as well. Colleges will actively reject men for scholarships in favor of Women. Heck those colleges will also reject male applicants in favor of women to fill a quota, that somehow exists despite being illegal. Then when you go out into the workforce, you see men are being denied promotions and even employment opportunities in favor of women as well.

When this gets pointed out, Feminists dismiss these talking points. I'm sick and tired of a bunch women, with a lot more privilege than I have, telling me to check mine in a condescending manner. I am a white man and I have been discriminated plenty of times. I am waiting for my white privilege to finally kick in and it’s been 37 years as of today that I have been waiting. Until then, I refuse to believe this Patriarchy still exists.

AigisxLabrys · 2025-09-21T19:22:28+00:00

So, how do we not live in a patriarchy where women are oppressed at the hands of men? Why do you reject the idea that women are an oppressed and discriminated group?

I reject these ideas because this happened.

APLAPLAC100 · 2025-09-23T13:54:44+00:00

Lazy bait

sunyata150 · 2025-09-23T18:20:48+00:00

A common issue with these kind of discussions is that it tends to center woman's experiences. This leaves out how men can experience these kind of issues in there own distinct ways. Studies do this too as a result certain problems like sexual assault and rape of men can be significantly under represented. That also includes other concepts like discrimination, harassment, power and oppression.

Top_Cartographer841 · 2025-09-24T00:05:59+00:00

I don't reject the idea that women are an oppressed and discriminated demographic, and I applaud a lot of the progress made by feminism in terms of legal equality, loosened gender roles, and free love (back when many feminists still supported it). At a structural level these are all very real issues.

What I reject is the idea that men as a group oppress women as a group. And what I especially reject is the tendency to conflate issues of class and social structure with psychology and identity.

Compare it to the issue of nationalism and marxism. National in-group bias can be a fracturing force, but as long as we divide ourselves into nations it's also pretty unavoidable and deeply human. It can also be a uniting factor. Marxism has done a great deal of good in organizing workers to stand up for their interests as a class (not as an identity group). It has also helped a lot of people to understand why modern society can be so alienating, meaningless and lonely a lot of the time.

But every time these two have been combined and conflated it's turned into hell on earth. In Italy the idea of the proletarian nation turned into fascist dictatorship, in Russia the peasantry was left to starve because they weren't part of the "real" working class. In Germany similar ideas fed into Nazism.

Anytime someone says that you can identify an oppressor, or in other words an enemy, based on their biological features, cultural markers, language etc. rather than their actions or actual affiliations, that is when communities get torn apart.

In the case if gender this is doubly destructive because we live side by side. We can't just say that the people of the other side of the fence are bad and live our separate lives. These are our mothers and sisters and friends and lovers, that have grown resentful of us simply because we look like people who have hurt them.

I also reject the discourse around sexual misconduct on the basis that it tries to deal with sexuality by a logic foreign to it, and leads to more misunderstanding, mistrust and bitterness than it does anything good. It's nothing but rebranded victorian moralism and prudishness. It's not a political issues and we should stop treating it as one.

GrandyRetroCandy · 2025-09-21T03:08:42+00:00

Part of it is that this is an oversimplification.

Individual power is not all the same.

There are women who have power within this world, and their privilege is better than many men's.

There are men with very little privilege and who suffer incredibly. More than most women.

But the current explanations of how this world works under a patriarchy seek to ignore this fact.

And it doesn't serve human beings.

It leads to a paradigm where women, no matter their situation, are always harmless, guiltless, never at fault, and always the victim.

And men are always the perpetrator, never have hardships, never have emotions, never have humanity. It dehumanizes them. Men are always wrong, and exist to serve women's comfort.

It's an oversimplification that does not consider individuals.

Yes, women suffer. Yes, men have held more power (in the past, and some still today).

But that's not the whole story. It's kind of insulting to everyone that we even try to boil it down and make it this simple.

And that's just part of the problem.

TheCreator120 · 2025-09-21T10:53:22+00:00

A good sign of patriarchy would be if things were like Afghanistan, pre-industrial China and Ancient Rome, when a man's wife and children are/were basically his property and if he hits then most people would assume that he has good reason for doing so. Granted, most men, even in those places, care about their families, so they probably wouldn't do it, but they can technically get away with that behavior pretty easily, with no legal repercussion.

Tell me, what gender in the West is usually assume to be justified in domestic violence cases and generally treated with more sympathy, regardless of the evidence?.

Dark_Prince_of_Chaos · 2025-09-21T07:52:19+00:00

Because most of what women says are lies.

Ask yourself how they benefit from that victim propaganda and you will see the manipulation.

Women are master manipulators and most men beleive them because they have that "protective father mindset". They even convinced you that patriarchy is bad when it is the main reason women are not slaves/possessions.

A prime example of statistics manipulation is with the "sexual assaults". Most people beleive it is "rape", but it include a friendly slap on the butt, a breast touch and other extremely trivial acts.

Never beleive women that have something to gain because their greed is insatiable.

Title	Questions from a guy
Author	CharmingLion1811
Upvotes	0
Comments	48
Date	September 20, 2025 8:45 PM UTC (10 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/comments/1nm93mg/questions_from_a_guy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/questions-from-a-guy.1562461 https://theredarchive.com/post/1562461

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