Biggest Fear?

_KeepTheFaith_ · 2025-10-02T14:20:20+00:00

The effect it is having, and will have on my kids. Older one is doing better than the younger one but their mother doing a good job of laying all of the blame at my feet and alienating them from my new partner.

I'm a high earner, and whilst I'm not in debt, I have burned through every bit of cash I have (had) on legal fees as well as paying for both houses, all the bills, all the things for the kids etc

StandardButPoor500 · 2025-10-02T12:01:52+00:00

Losing myself wasn't a fear of mine, ever. I am myself no matter what.

First divorce, the main concern was the apartment. Its cost was huge, and I could lose a half of it.

Recently finished second divorce, I'd say my main concern was and still is the kid. Second - finances of being alone. Third - what do I do now?

AdventurousTrash1645 · 2025-09-29T11:05:51+00:00

I was financially ruined. I fear struggling financially, not being able to support my kids financially and being homeless. No savings for retirement. I fear no women will want to be with me now since I'm broke. Divorce ruined me.

Gunslinger1925 · 2025-09-28T17:35:56+00:00

Loss of my kids and reduced financial independence. Thankfully, my ex and I have a great parenting relationship, and I get to see my youngest every other week. Sometimes, we'll switch two weeks at a time.

Now it's really financial independence, and that's only because I got burnt out from teaching and accepted a non-teaching position for less money.

That said, I'm confident I can rebuild my finances to where they were. I actually enjoy the solitude.

brightfutureforsure · 2025-09-28T04:28:03+00:00

My biggest fear was reentering this world after having a teammate (albeit a bad one) there next to me. Didn’t take long to realize I had more figured out than I thought. Less money now than we had together—but way less stressed than I’ve been in a long time. Only see my boys 50% of the time—but they are flourishing and our times together are great and give them some comfort when spending the other 50% with her. It’s lonely—but I’ve learned to embrace it and fill many of those times with new, fun times with long lost friends and some new ones. Dying alone—realized better to be alone and enjoy life than be miserable and have her in my life. Starting over—moved out with nothing more than my clothes and the bathroom radio. Have loved starting over. House isn’t full of junk and realize how much less you can live with. Fear is good. We become too comfortable and think comfort equals happiness and peace. That’s not the case if your in this position. Face your fears, it’ll only make you stronger.

AssistantActive9529 · 2025-09-27T22:41:13+00:00

I think it was the wealth but trust me you’ll get it back. Mine was a micromanager who did not work but wanted her input in things like water filters we buy. My sanity was worth more. She used to bother me over stupid decisions that I told her we should discuss the night before but she says her head hurts thinking about it . For someone so able bodied and university educated she was so useless.

It’s been month 2 and I got my identity back. I can work from home I peace. I can scalp trades in the stock indices and get some fun money while working. Life is good .

Do I get lonely ? Yes, but dealing with someone who is criticizing me for working too hard and wanting to earn additional money was bothering her. She wanted me to focus on her right when work ends at 6PM. So from 6PM to 11PM I had to deal with the missing link while she watches TikTok. I don’t miss her one bit.

Funny_Object_5538 · 2025-09-27T21:45:32+00:00

At first, it was fear of losing her and never loving again. 6 months later, it’s 100% fearing the effect it’s going to have on my kids. I’ll be ok. They are hurting, and angry, and unsure of what’s to come. And they are the innocent ones in this process. It’s not fair

Totesmagotes24x7 · 2025-09-27T21:19:15+00:00

Losing my kids. Currently fighting for 50/50. Also getting financially fucked. My whole life I've been responsible with my money and now this divorce could put me in a position of serious debt, which I've never been in. Probably one of the few things that sends me into a small panic attack.

FashionableLabcoat · 2025-09-27T21:16:07+00:00

Losing my healthcare (which is going to happen) and having a medical emergency with no one around (not guaranteed to happen). If I have a stroke in my house or black out, people are unlikely to know within 24 hours.

Several-Eagle4141 · 2025-09-27T21:09:19+00:00

At this point I look at it like this: I can put zero effort in and there’s a girl who will come over and fulfill any wish I have. I couldn’t get that for an hour over the past 15 years

Title	Biggest Fear?
Author	VeteranEntrepreneurs
Upvotes	13
Comments	17
Date	September 27, 2025 9:06 PM UTC (10 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1ns6cku/biggest_fear/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/biggest-fear.1562940 https://theredarchive.com/post/1562940

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