So me and my ex are going through property division. One thing she’s demanding is that I pay her back for the wedding costs. She organized the wedding for only her side of the family, not mine, and I’m not sure if judges even approve that kind of request.

She’s also claiming that money her relatives gave her over the years (when the kids were born, when we bought a house, etc.) were not gifts but “advance inheritance.” The relatives she’s talking about are in their 40s and 60s, and there’s zero documentation stating these were advances. I don’t know how she can prove that, or why she’s bringing it up now.

On top of that, she wants me to split attorney’s fees. The issue is her attorneys cost 5–6x more than mine. I hired one attorney and handled a lot of the work myself, while she ran up huge legal bills. I don’t know if a local judge would approve splitting that unevenly or just deny it.

Another thing: she had about $50,000 before we married. That money was commingled into our joint account and spent on normal living expenses. Now she’s asking for half of that back. From what I understand, once premarital funds are commingled and used for joint expenses, they’re usually treated as marital property. I don’t know if she can still claim it.

My thinking is to represent myself for the financial division side. It’s mostly numbers and documents, way more straightforward than custody which is all feelings and accusations. But I also know courts can be unpredictable.

She refuses to settle or agree on a set number. I honestly think she wants to drag it out in court even though she’ll likely spend on lawyers about the same amount she might recover. I don’t want to waste another 20–30k just to pay her another 30k.

Has anyone here represented themselves in the asset division part of divorce? How did it go? Do judges usually reject things like wedding reimbursement, “inheritance gifts,” or commingled premarital money claims without documentation? Any advice on how to keep this from turning into a lawyer-fee war would be appreciated.