Tired of constantly being told women aren't believed by doctors like men ever are.

bulimic_squid · 2025-10-19T22:10:07+00:00

I watched my wife get gaslit by two female gynos, who lied to her, downplayed issues, and ultimately made things worse.

I mentioned this on a comment thread about sexism in medicine and got treated to the world championship of mental gymnastics as women fell over themselves to try and justify how it's "different", all because the specialists in this case were female.

Another day, another notch on the handle of "women don't actually care about this shit unless they can blame a man for it".

Wonder how this argument will shift when 90% of medical practitioners are female... They'll have to find new ways to blame us.

Falconoflight777 · 2025-10-19T12:09:12+00:00

Its hilarious gaslighting. Women go to doctor with any miniscule issue and men only in near death situation, yet women somehow oppressed... Men died - women most affected.

No_Reach1005 · 2025-10-19T13:42:59+00:00

20 years of debilitating chronic health issues and I’ve learned to expect dismissal, routinely. Several times I’ve had to provide the diagnosis myself and the research to support it, in written format with official sources, in order for doctors to actually do their job. It’s amazing to hear them say nothing about the fact that I’ve done their job for them. I’ve also learned that if I actually want to see progress then I need to clear out an entire day to type up a super concise, authoritative and linguistically relevant report that I just hand them when I see them in person. For the reference, I’ve lived both in the US and in France, and the experience has been the same. The silver lining is that I’ve learned to develop faith in my own self determination throughout this absurd process and it’s made me a better man.

Same_Sentence_3470 · 2025-10-19T12:53:34+00:00

I completely understand how you feel about how you were treated when you had your vasectomy. In the US the urology staff (PA’s, nurses, nurse practitioners, medical assistants, office staff, etc.) is nearly 100% women. They are all very dismissive and actually disrespectful to their male patients. I had a vasectomy 20 years ago and now I’m dealing with prostate cancer. I have been to multiple large urology centers multiple times and I have never seen a male employee. Some of the doctors are male but they are the only men you will ever encounter.

Here is one of my stories for an example of how I have been treated. When I had my prostate biopsy the Dr told me it could take up to 2 weeks for the results so schedule a follow up appointment 2 weeks later. The receptionist said the only appointment available was 3 weeks so I took it. I received the results 3 days later. I was devastated when I read the results and realized I had cancer. I called the urology office and told the receptionist that I received the results and would like to have my appointment rescheduled or at least be able to speak to the Dr as soon as possible. She immediately got very short with me and said there is nothing we can do for you, you will just have to wait. So I agonized over it for two and a half weeks before I was able to speak to the Dr. This is just one of the many situations that I have experienced in Urology that show the lack of respect and care for a male patient from one of the female staff. Unfortunately all four of the urology centers that I have been to only hire women. I suppose these women feel that the care that male patients receive is not important. When I was waiting in the reception area for my biopsy all of the administrative staff were bashing men and bad mouthing their husbands. When I was in the exam room waiting to have the biopsy I overheard the nurses laughing and joking about the body parts of their male patients. The whole thing was so disrespectful and degrading. I couldn’t believe that a guy with cancer or any guy has to tolerate this.

lifemagiccat · 2025-10-19T13:04:52+00:00

The study that tells women the doctors don't listen is skewed. Men turn up for diagnosis towards the end of a disease when it's easier to diagnose because they know no one will take them seriously whereas women turn up at the start of disease knowing that they are at the front of queue and will be investigated. But because the disease is earlier it's easier to misdiagnose but not because doctors don't listen. To add insult to injury the reason given for men not attending surgery early is usually given as being stubborn rather than the fact of knowing full well from a life of experience that no one will give a damn and they'll be ignored and belittled.

ChemistryFan29 · 2025-10-19T19:18:22+00:00

it is crazy as F I am so tired of this nonsense

Long time ago I had a flu shot, I got fever and the arm that received the shot started to get pain, and then paralysis, literally could not move it at all. IT did not end till the fever did.

Just last month for pharm school I was required to get a flu shot and covid shot at the same time. In class I was told oh men getting the covid shot the chance of you getting heart issues is so low you are being babies about it. Any way got the bloody shots. As soon as I got the shots I went to class, well couple minutes later I was sleepy like hell drowsy. and my arm was bothering, I had to go to the student lounge to sleep. I got dirty looks for that saying I probably did not get enough sleep.

Few days later I wake up to pain in my side where the lung was and hard time breathing. I get to school and it is bad. I go to the hospital. The PA a male by the way dismissed my whole thing said I probably pooled the muscle, or slept wrong. I said check again I have had weird history with vaccines told them about the paralysis, The were like wow that is rare, but I doubt your pain is due to the vaccine. still dismissive of my complaints

Carbo-Raider · 2025-10-19T14:12:39+00:00

Yes, this is another issue where women in a bubble, or just women with a feminist mind-set, just look at half the picture; the half that gives them a victim-mentality. This mentality becomes a habit, and spreads like ... Cancer.

Women are conditioned to expect a lot of sympathy. But Doctors lack sympathy because they listen to symptoms all the time. And just like in relationships, women often tell their BF their problems just to get sympathy.

When I got my Obama-care, and had to choose a Dr., My one criteria was that it be a man. Same as not choosing a female psychologist. Sad, but we've TRIED to stop women from shooting themselves in the foot.

Mod-ulate · 2025-10-19T14:34:58+00:00

I have similarly experienced doctors not believing me. I later talked to a woman about my frustrations with that and they became upset at me, believing that it was nothing as bad as what they experience.

Medical professionals seem to discount everyone, regardless of gender. I think it is just that men complain less in general, and so society has perceived it to be a gendered problem that women experience.

Current_Finding_4066 · 2025-10-19T14:22:01+00:00

I agree. Men face the exactly same issues. And this fuckers want the problem sovled only for women, as always. They are disgusting.

Biffowolf · 2025-10-19T15:19:43+00:00

In the UK. Zero male related heath screening programmes for men and when raised they are downplayed as not worth it as they are inaccurate may cause unnecessary worry. I think I would prefer worry - then relief as opposed to potential non cancer treatment. Women have long had cervical / breast cancer screening and now money is being poured into menopause. There seems to be a definite bias in our gynocentric health care system. Mens testicular / prostate cancer charities have started getting some traction and raising significant funding and all of a suddenly they have now partnered with Breast Cancer Uk as they have similar programmes which could run jointly - funny how this never happened previously. Deep misgivings now about Movember which, as I read reports (from a female author incidentally) money is being redirected away from mens physical health issues and the Movember management is now 70% female due to “inclusive hiring” . Read this - it’s pretty shocking.

https://www.bettinaarndt.com.au/movember-rips-off-mens-health-dollars/

Vivaelpueblo · 2025-10-19T22:30:25+00:00

When I've compared my experiences of healthcare with female friends it made me realise that men are treated less favourably than women. For example when a man has some health issue that affects their appearance, they're expected to just deal with it and dismissed. Misandry in healthcare is so predictable and despicable.

Francis_Dollar_Hide · 2025-10-19T23:38:15+00:00

There was a post recently about shingles and a woman claimed vaccinations were only given at an age that was based on men’s average age of contraction and not women’s that was much lower. I proved them wrong, showed them the facts that the average age of contraction is the same and suggested they retracted the claim. They steadfastly refused, justified it by saying there are loads of other examples of ‘medical misogyny’ deflected, then resorted to personal attacks.

The internet is full of spurious claims that women get harsher treatment in the medical industry, despite far more money being spent on female specific cancer research for example.

Some women simply don’t care about the truth. They have made their entire lack of achievement and averageness the center of their perceived oppression. It’s the perfect excuse.

SidewaysGiraffe · 2025-10-19T15:13:40+00:00

Typical Canadian healthcare.

It's almost like people who believe themselves to be "above" you, whether that's in terms of government, corporate, educational, religious, or other forms of power, think of you as lesser than themselves. It's amazing how many problems, on how many scales, could be prevented if people would just feel a little humility.

mrmensplights · 2025-10-19T15:37:56+00:00

When you internalize a victim narrative like many women have, you begin to interpret every situation through that mindset. Anytime there's anything ambiguous about a situation you fill in the blanks with your own worldview.

When a woman with this mindset gets dismissive treatment by a doctor the first thing that comes to mind is "It's because I'm a woman".

Because the belief is a product of an ideology that's widespread among women, many women believe it and reinforce it with each other.

It's a kind of hysteria.

SidewaysGiraffe · 2025-10-19T15:15:48+00:00

Also- while this might not be an issue, depending on how many years ago it was, if your CPAP is a Philips Respironics model, make sure it's not subject to the recall; cancer is an awful thing.

Randomuser223556 · 2025-10-19T11:43:09+00:00

As with any procedure you really need to do your own homework on both the procedure and the surgeon. The lowest ranked person in med school still graduates. Don’t trust any doctor who says you can get the procedure anywhere performed by anyone. Walk right out the door. It doesn’t matter what it is. Unless it’s an emergency and you’re about to die, do your homework on the surgeons in your area. The difference between a surgeon who’s done the surgery 1,000+ times and a surgeon who’s brand new with fewer than 100 surgeries completed can be the difference between being in pain for the rest of your life or not.

EnvironmentalRow996 · 2025-10-19T16:01:04+00:00

Ask Dr GPT. Be extremely demanding and go over everything. Then doctors will perk up when you use the lingo.

SecTeff · 2025-10-20T17:40:15+00:00

“It's one of those stupid "why the fuck is this gendered" issue” - The balkanisation of political opposition. Something feminists have been unwitting participants in.

I would be fairly convinced that each gender faces some health issues where they are either more or less listened too.

Mental health is an issue where I’m convicted men do not get attention or support. Andropause and hormones therapy is another (here in the U.K.).

I also imagine there are lots of women with issues like Endometriosis who have issues.

I do notice however when women aren’t being seen it’s still somehow men’s fault. According to recent UK figures, about 57.4% of the GP head-count are female, and around 53.0% of GP full-time equivalent (FTE) workforce are female (as of September 2023

Kanadano · 2025-10-19T13:21:10+00:00

After I'd regained consciousness after three days in ER at Montreal Jewish General Hospital following years of intimate-partner violence from my wife at the time, the ER psychiatrist asked whether I was married, then asked for my wife's phone number.

Then I was in a room all alone with the psychiatrist and my wife and the psychiatrist told me in my wife's presence that I had attempted suicide as an alternative to killing my wife.

Luckily for me, however psychologically and sexually violent my wife was, at least she wasn't the kind to make a false accusation. She ignored the doctor's comment, turned to me, then berated me for my attempt.

The psychiatrist, satisfied that I posed no threat to my wife, released me like nothing had happened.

TwerpOco · 2025-10-19T18:56:11+00:00

Way more money is spent on women's healthcare in this country than men's. Women's healthcare research gets significantly more funding.

I can sympathize with women who say that doctors don't take their issues seriously on a case-by-case basis, but there is no way that women's health isn't taken seriously as a whole.

TiddybraXton333 · 2025-10-19T17:47:25+00:00

r/badmensanatomy for some of that lol

CrossboneSkulled · 2025-10-19T23:05:31+00:00

Another thing to say. It's a shame how good men treat women and how mean women are, both genders are nicer towards women.

AbysmalDescent · 2025-10-20T19:20:54+00:00

Most doctors do not really give a crap about men either, it's typically just that men accept that easier than women. There's effectively an internalized sense of male disposability among men, and a fear of showing weakness, that leads to men sort of just accepting medical indifference or even negligence. Most doctors tend to over book and under serve in general, trying to maximize profit by seeing more people and putting in the least amount of effort for each patient. This applies to both men and women. The idea that men are better served by doctors is a complete fabrication or confirmation bias.

NewMoonlightavenger · 2025-10-19T11:48:34+00:00

Dude, this is bullshit. First of all, men get snipped because it's an easier procedure, not because it's reversible. Second, even if you think your patient is being dramatic, you treat them with respect, because even if they were being dramatic, there is a reason for it AND they are suffering.

Where the heck is Canada getting their Healthcare professionals? I'm fucking brazillian and I'm shocked.

CzarOfCT · 2025-10-21T00:55:39+00:00

I was born with several medical problems, including severe allergies. I also developed mental problems as a child. Whenever a doctor finds out about the mental shit, they dismiss my symptoms and start asking if I'm fucking sad! 😑

Dragon-Guy2 · 2025-10-21T03:19:30+00:00

"Men overreact to chest pain"

Ah yes. Because it's somehow abnormal to go to the ER when there is a very real possibility of DEATH.

Doctors are a special breed of narcissistic idiot.

I feel ya, the sheer amount of times iv gone to the doc for arthritis and auto immune conditions to just be told "well you are fat so" or "Weak of you to not work out, be a man and work on yourself" as if it's easier to do such things when you are suck

Nervous_Designer_894 · 2025-10-25T15:18:20+00:00

I have severe severe pain symptons dimissed as just gas, or a pulled muscle.
Turns out it was my appendix, fuck these sexist female nurses and doctors right?

selectedtext · 2025-10-19T13:17:09+00:00

Hey, our Canadian health care is Fkd bud. Atleast American healthcare can get shit done. We have 3 yr waiting lists to see a doctor.

AdIllustrious6191 · 2025-10-20T00:37:10+00:00

Well, TBH, most men don't go to the doctor unless it's a dire situation. Often, it's too late. I think that's an even bigger problem. Anyway, I'm sorry OP had a bad experience.

Heavy_Consequence441 · 2025-10-19T13:18:24+00:00

Just females gaslighting and playing victim, it's what they've done their whole lives

EirraC010 · 2025-10-20T06:48:13+00:00

Many medical personnel seem to lose their compassion over time, if they had much to start with. We're also supposed to research for ourselves all the risks and complications and then ask questions for clarification long in advance as to not come in there acting clueless about life changing alterations to your anatomy. It seems like you may have made a rushed decision or got staged fright and wanted to back out. They probably see alot of that too, while under pressure to stay on schedule. Imagine what a last minute surgery will cost the hospital in profit lost which they'll likely pass on to you for your lack of preparation and determination to do what you signed up for. Surgery affects everyone differently, but health risks to surgical error can happen to anyone is typically common knowledge and patients are largely responsible to educate themselves.

RevolutionaryLaw8854 · 2025-10-20T20:30:36+00:00

Yep. Healthcare just sucks in general - not just for women.

EmbarrassedNerve1299 · 2025-10-20T21:23:29+00:00

it is a gendered issue and one that affects men negatively the medical industry is overran by misogynistic feminist abusers that dismiss men's health issues and roadblocks men from seeking help mainly in the mental health sector blaming male victims and forcing or coercing them to take awful pharmaceutical drugs.

Emergency-Theory395 · 2025-10-24T01:16:49+00:00

Try having a botched circumcision. I don't even have to go into whether or not doctors believe the complications I have (in the US doctors will never admit that circumcision has complications), if I had been born a girl, no doctor would have come anywhere close to my newborn genitals for fear of being charged with a felony. But since I was born a girl, not only was the doctor allowed to do it, but if my parents were poor enough, the state would have paid him to do it. I never want to hear a woman complain about discrimination in healthcare.

doggonedangoldoogy · 2025-10-27T05:43:45+00:00

I was diagnosed with a severe condition as a child and have been re-diagnosed twice since. I’ve been seeking treatment for decades. No one will prescribe the needed medications because I “look like a strong healthy young man.” I’ve recently made some progress after I told several providers that I was going to unalive myself (and meant it) if I couldn’t get treatment. They are now tentatively reviewing my case. Hopefully things continue to move forward.

I genuinely have no idea where this false perception of it being a gendered issue comes from. A combo of pandering and echo chambers I guess.

Salamadierha · 2025-10-19T18:52:17+00:00

If you're having issues with any aspect of healthcare due to poor attitudes of staff, make a complaint against them, to the surgery/hospital and to their overseeing body if appropriate [doctors/nurses].
There are ways to get something done, but reddit comments aren't it.

AssTubeExcursion · 2025-10-19T19:33:15+00:00

Well in the case of my gf, she’s been taken far less serious than I have at visits, even dismissed and downplayed for her health issues.

We go to appointments as a family, and the amount of judgement and straight up disrespect she’s gotten is ridiculous. It’s usually the worst when it’s overnight doctors who are just travel doctors. But regardless, she’s had a bountiful amount of doctors just toss pain pills at her, or cycle her through multiple antibiotics, because they won’t take her serious when she explains serious pains and internal issues going on that need a much deeper look than just “oh you’re not feeling good, here’s some dope” mentality.

She doesn’t want pain meds anymore, she has endometriosis stage 4-5, and the extremely overlooked and under cared, under researched for disease called Endometriosis is pretty bullshit.

If endo was a male problem, it would have way more backing and attention.

PersonalDouble1706 · 2025-10-19T21:55:53+00:00

So sorry for you man yeah the medical failed is so sexist against men except men to be made of stones. They don't even care about women in pain alot of died in the birth room. Because of lack of empathy. When i was getting a procedure (Microsurgical varicocelectomy) I was shaking and very uncomfortable i wasn't scared or anything The anesthesia female didn't do her job right and i felt the little cut with the scalp knife no one care about me they i was shaking on the surgery table guys were looking at me with disgust and hatred one of them looked at my face thought i was ganna get punched in the face ( as he asked me what the fuck is wrong with you) I don't know! You're the doctor you should know.. The worst experience ever For anyone interested to not to go there the hospital is https://alfarahidi-hospital.com/ar/

Alarming-Mongoose-81 · 2025-10-21T00:24:18+00:00

As a woman who's also in Canada, I would just add that you not being believed and not being given more pain medicine was not based solely on your gender. It is definitely a health care issue, however there are instances that only involve the female gender, which is why its widespread that women are not listened to. Its not about a person's symptoms not being believed, but immediately not being taken seriously for gendered reasons. For example, because historically all research involved solely male participants, conditions women experience differently (based on biology and pain scales) are often missed, like heart attacks. Women are also refused anesthetic and pain medication for reproductive system procedures which men do recieve. I would say the biggest area of medical malpractice due to women specifically not being taken seriously is in reproductive health, like for pregnant women. After all, the standard birthing position is more harmful to women than others, and is reinforced to make things easier for doctors, despite increased risk of complications. The entire problem of endometriosis is another example of a women-specific condition that takes years for women to get diagnosed with. Most of these things are not because symptoms arent believed but because there are notions that womens' pain is normal, or that women are all anxious. In med schools doctors are telling students about "whining women". I have POTS and can't even get passed 2 symptoms before a doctor interupts me. I went to the ER with a heart rate of 180 and was told I didnt need a bed because I was a young woman. I can't see a specialist because the "big" one I get referred to lectured me about runway models after saying I had a secret eating disorder causing all my problems (because I had stomach pain and weight loss). I was told not to come back because all he would do is send me to a psychologist for "working through beauty standards". I had no imaging of my stomach. My cousin tired for 10 years to get an endometriosis diagnosis because "all women have pain". I had dangerously low blood pressure and got told "all young women feel dizzy and faint" before checking why. The issue is specific, wrong expectations the medical system has for women when it comes to what pain is 'normal' for them. Women's complaints that could be linked to anxiety, insecurity, or a lack of children WILL be attributed to those things first. Something like back pain will easily get an xray, because it cant.

My point is that there is a huge problem of symptoms not being believed, for both genders, however for women specifically its a problem with being categorized as dramatic/expected, right off the bat, which leads to biased attention. This is historically rooted as womens conditions are frequently understudied. For example, compare the amount of studies on endometriosis and erectile dysfunction. Which one of those conditions is believed by doctors at first symptom complaint. Do doctors debate whether you're faking it, and even deny photo evidence because you might have gotten it from google, or it might have been set-up? This SPECIFICALLY is what women are talking about. Not argueing but explaining. I can relate to you on chest pain not being taken seriously, as well.

The comment thread about women going to the doctor with any "miniscule" issue (making an assumption when you don't know, and generalizing to all women), is a great and laughable example of this. Complaining men don't go to the doctor when they notice health symptoms, and then die.. yes, thats what people try to prevent by doing exactly that. Then complain on reddit that women live longer.. for doing exactly that.. why ridicule women then if they're doing something that works, which you want, and can start going for your 'miniscule' issues then? Some people just want something to say. Additionally the reason women take up more healthcare dollars.. you guys are forgetting MOST women do something that costs thousands of dollars, multiple times, that men cannot. Besides that, women make up the majority of people with autoimmune disorders and are at higher risk of certain cancers that are pretty common. Not here to argue but something that stops real issues, like malpractice impacting BOTH genders being a serious problem, is to make points that are not thought out. We can all be taken more seriously by educating ourselves. Doing the same thing to women, while currently complaining about people doing to you, is just encouraging your own treatment to continue by being part of the problem, and agreeing with these doctors in times it doesn't impact you.

I_Am_A_Goo_Man · 2025-10-19T11:33:59+00:00

Nobody is telling you this aside from the internet. If you stop reading it then it will stop making you tired

Title	Tired of constantly being told women aren't believed by doctors like men ever are.
Author	Euphoric_Ad6923
Upvotes	531
Comments	88
Date	October 19, 2025 11:28 AM UTC (9 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1oana3h/tired_of_constantly_being_told_women_arent/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/tired-of-constantly-being-told-women-arent.1564480 https://theredarchive.com/post/1564480

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