21 and still a virgin.

ResentCourtship2099 · 2025-10-26T00:07:22+00:00

I didn't have sex until 28 I'm not proud of it but it is what it is and not unusual for people to reach letter twenties or 30 plus virgins

proverbs27-17 · 2025-10-25T23:54:01+00:00

It will only bother you if you let it bother you. I'm 23 and still a virgin and I don't care.

ThatDarnSmell · 2025-10-26T03:26:53+00:00

Doesn't matter. Quit thinking of virginity as some kind of chip on your shoulder. Try to find genuine connection and compatibility. The sex will follow. You ideally want sex to just be one component of a solid relationship, not the bullseye. Ease off on the pressure of getting laid and instead talk to women and find one you like enough through talking and getting to know. Again, the sex will follow.

TheDeadOnion · 2025-10-26T02:49:19+00:00

24, pulled but still a virgin. Tho every time a girl said she wanted to do it, it was on a dating app and never really met up

Broad-Cranberry-9050 · 2025-10-27T03:52:33+00:00

First off, i get how you feel i lost mine around that time in college and i felt behind and like a recluse.

What i wished i lesrned in college that i didnt learn until after was this:

be more social. Im not tlaking about being funny amongst friends, be social with strangers. Chsrisma is the #1 way to get girls to like you. When you learn to go to a party for your own enjoyment over getting laid, girls will want to be around that. Practice talking to new people and be ok getting rejected or looking awkward
be the guy that gets people together. If you meet someone new get their number regardless of gender. Then text a group of people looking to go out to bars on friday or saturday. Something like “hey im looking to get a group together you guys down?”. When you invite people, it will cause people to want to invite you to things. This creates more opportunity to meet more people. Its a numbers game, so its important to meet more people. If you talk to the same 5 people everyday you wont meet that girl thatmight want to fuck you.
looks matter but again social skills are #1. Girls get lfired on by everyone so a 6 pack is not going to put you that ahead. But it will help. Get better haircuts like a fade. Grow a beard. Buy cologne and buy clothing that suit you. It doesnt have to break the bank, buy stuff from amazon and the gap. I bought a jacket from amazon for 20 bucks and everybody loved it when i wore it. Cologne goes a long way for girls.
when you go out to parties. Make sure to do it for your own fun. If you do it to get laid then Girls will notice that.

-be yourself, but undertand that you are also growing and need to grow your social skills. What i mean by be yourself is dont be too nice and friendly with a girl you are interested in. It’s not genuine. But also dont be an AH. For me im witty and funny, girls like that. I used to be too nice because i was scsred of offending them. The thing is women are not glass vases they can take a joke better than modt men. So in a weird way, treat them like a bro.

be risky. Getting girls is all about risk, reading body language, etc. you have to open physical touch. So letms say you are at a party. Just talk to everyone and when your favorite song comes up, grab the first single girl and just dance with her and get your buddies to dance with her friends. If physical touch starts get closer and closer until she lets you kiss her or she pushes you back. If it’s the latter, apologize and keep it moving. You will need to be ok with rejection and looking a bit foolish.

Revolutionary_Olive5 · 2025-10-26T01:41:04+00:00

I was a virgin until 23 or so. But i couldnt care less, i always knew if i wanted to lose it i can. There two ways to do it, if you wanna just fuck, when you go on dates build up to it. Dont try to fuck on the first date if you cant, hug kiss. Then on later dates third base then eventually youll progress. You don’t necessarily have to hide that youre a virgin as well, any understanding girl would be okay w it

Next up, if you really just want to get into a relationship. Just date for the person. Take your time w everything, eventually itll lead to sex.

One thing to remember is that, women are humans too, they are just like us. Be understanding and be interested. Listen to what they have to say. When you know she likes you, you confidence will automatically shoot up.

Western-Month-3877 · 2025-10-26T00:11:15+00:00

It’s called approach anxiety. If you want to learn more you can search the term in this sub or even in other relevant subs like dating etc.

But one thing I know about anxiety that it’s about the pressure you’re dealing with; because you have so much expectations yet on the other hand you know you can’t meet them. For example in your case you brought up about being a virgin. It may not be relevant to anxiety in general, but it kinda gave me a clue why you mentioned it in the first place. You want to have sex with a woman but you’re afraid you’ll mess it up by not approaching her correctly, thus keeping you in the same loop and stay being a virgin.

One of the first steps is to have your mindset shifted. Women in general are pretty much like men; in a sense that they have flaws and you shouldn’t put them in a pedestal that you’re scared of approaching them. I’ve seen women waking up in the morning, many of them are not as pretty as when they are in the clubs with full makeups on. I’ve even seen them pooping in the toilet with their ugly faces just like us men, trying to push that shit out and flush it. Some of them have stinky breath after they got up. Like “eew brush your teeth first before you kiss me!” Or how my sexual experience in the beginning wasn’t really that great. I even thought to myself “this is it? This is what sex is?” Not realizing it takes 2 to tango/have a great sex.

But surely it’s easier said than done. Your mindset toward women that you’re afraid to approach them has been built for years, you probably can’t change it overnight. The other alternative is for you to expand your social circles. Hang out with your guy friends in social settings, then have them introduce you with their women friends. So you don’t start by approaching a stranger, but thru friends. By doing that you also have your expectation lowered. As they don’t have to be the prettiest girl in the room, but interesting enough to talk with since she’s now your acquaintance thru your friends.

CTWaythenthen · 2025-10-30T21:38:29+00:00

Look into "looks maxing". Go to the gym. Have interesting hobbies. Maintain a clean living space. Read books. Wear nice clothes. Wash and lotion your skin. Take vitamins. Eat fresh foods. Don't fuckin' drink alcohol (that shit is poison). Work on a path to improve current skills and learn new skills.

Show life that you're here to kick ass.

Most women want a [not ugly] man that's confident, competent, capable of a little violence (but has the discipline to not use it), and is clean.

My friends tell me I’m good looking and have potential.

Friends will lie to try and make you feel better. You might be "good looking", but what else could you do to improve your looks?

Women are human sexual creatures just like us. They're looking for qualities in a man that indicate he's worth their time. Because I don't know if you know this, but women get the vast, vast, vast amount of sexual attention in the world. So much that many of them get annoyed and put up walls.

i.e., it's going to take a lot more than being "good looking" or "a nice guy" to win over the affection of (I'd argue) most women.

Best of luck.

StepGeneral3597 · 2025-10-26T03:16:27+00:00

You have to play the game. If you’re consistent you’ll start to see results. Being a virgin at 21 is one thing, but being a virgin at 30 is much harder to overcome. It gets harder the longer you wait. You’re young tho, you got this man.

GatsbyCode · 2025-10-26T08:23:57+00:00

You have not pulled in clubs if you're still virgin. Makes no sense.

AirborneHentai82 · 2025-10-26T10:01:47+00:00

My friend is a proud 28 year old virgin, he only wants the right one.

I lost mine at 22.

Wizeowltrader · 2025-10-26T20:05:28+00:00

Good job wait for the right person don't rush 👍 👏 😉 👌 don't let anyone pressure you. Getting married frist is the right way to go.. God's plan is the right plan.

ecologamer · 2025-10-26T20:12:34+00:00

I lost my virginity at 28... and the day started off unassuming. I thought I was going on a hike with a friend.

Bullbythehorns25 · 2025-10-26T21:17:53+00:00

Start approaching women in college, it’s totally normal to do that on college! The setting itself is conducive towards it.

borednhornynsad · 2025-10-27T04:02:38+00:00

Lost mine at 24 bro. I get what you mean, that feeling of being on a cliff almost when its now your chance to make that move it can be hard to do it.

Honestly don’t worry about the sex part at first, just try to progress to the making out stage. Next time you’re at the club and flirting with some girls you like, just feel the energy, try to break the touch by dancing with them or something then literally just tell them that you would like to kiss them. If the energy is there then you will kiss i promise.

After that either try to bring her back to your places or get her details for the future.

Once the kissing is intense enough usually sex is on the table especially if you guys have some privacy (like getting her home)

Im not by any means a pick up artist but i hope this little bit of experience helps

eeeest- · 2025-10-28T15:30:21+00:00

Get a real PickUpCoach

that’s what I did

I know what it feels like to have a part of you missing and then people try to tell you it‘s not that bad

Problem is that if it matters to you personally, even making 10k a month and being a model won’t help your confidence if you still believe you cannot talk to them

You need somebody to show you how it works and push you out of your comfort zone

Try to find someone that’s right for you, I‘d assume you already watch PUA videos.

Or get a well structured online program that‘s taking you through babysteps to break down the walls of this anxiety

I started exactly like that and just tried to do 1 approach everyday

In the beginning asking for random directions and stepping it up over time

spazatron-3000 · 2025-10-26T05:57:52+00:00

Stop listening to these old virgins tell u it’s okay get outside and get action go with one of your friends who gets a lot of play and just ask them for a rundown of what to do because by you not getting play your not gaining the experience that will help u later in life and confidence that comes from it

DrBarackPendergrass · 2025-10-27T14:51:12+00:00

I'm a dating coach and currently have a client who's a 32 year old kissless virgin. You're not alone.

Majestic_Switch2085 · 2025-10-30T00:32:18+00:00

24 from Morocco Boy

Pedro_Moona · 2025-10-26T11:09:35+00:00

I would go to strip clubs and get used to talking to women. Then you need to just start at the bottom of the barrel to get confidence. If you really need to hit some puss, Nevada has brothels.

AsleepSpecial5882 · 2025-10-26T03:26:41+00:00

Get out there and rizz dem hoes up! If that dosent work out go List_crawler and look up sum in your city🤷

Upbeat_Passenger_912 · 2025-10-26T01:07:11+00:00

Damn just book a hooker and say that this is your first time. You might even get a discount.

Title	21 and still a virgin.
Author	Comfortable-Fun5419
Upvotes	11
Comments	31
Date	October 25, 2025 11:26 PM UTC (9 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1og5sau/21_and_still_a_virgin/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/21-and-still-a-virgin.1565010 https://theredarchive.com/post/1565010

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