Assuming emotional connection and sexual chemistry, will asking a girl to be exclusive turn her off, or do they typically like it if the guy initiates that discussion?

Thierr · 2025-12-12T14:53:09+00:00

It doesn't matter what she thinks. If being exclusive is what you need then you ask her. If she disagrees then you're simply not a match.

CaptainSprinklePants · 2025-12-12T03:02:38+00:00

Women are not monoliths. One woman’s yuck is another woman’s yum.

ThatDarnSmell · 2025-12-12T17:06:29+00:00

Don't worry about turning her off or "killing attraction." Guys on this sub act deathly afraid of losing a woman's interest by showing commitment. Having a talk of exclusion after multiple dates and some time together is a perfectly natural and normal way to show her you have at least some vision of a relationship with her, more than just good times and going on dates or getting physical.

You're not asking her to marry you or tying her or yourself down. It's simply being more clear on where you both stand and adds a little more legitimacy to both of your investments. It's a display of confidence and that you have the right temperament to be boyfriend material.

Don't worry about the old PUA fodder of armchair social psychology and guys thinking you have to constantly game and add some friction or she'll leave you. Most people do not do that and have successful relationships. Drop the games and the gimmicks.

Virtual_Ad_4817 · 2025-12-12T15:47:58+00:00

Dude some of these replies are NOT good.

It turns women ON when you GO FOR WHAT YOU WANT, and make it known without shame or hesitancy.

So when you do it, don't pussyfoot around it. And don't make it a "big thing."

Best if you bring it up super casually like, "We should be exclusive." and then if she's like "Oh really?" or kind of challenges you to see if you're serious or something, be unapologetic, matter-of-fact. Like "Yeah. What do you think about that."

DON'T be like "Would you perhaps be interested in being exclusive with me or were you not into that?" or the way guys hedge with uncertainty all the time with those questions it's an ick.

Just go for it man if that's what you want.

If she doesn't reciprocate, if she's like: "I'm not really sure I want an exclusive thing right now"

Just be like "Well ok, just throwing it out there. I'm not asking you to be right now, we can both keep seeing other people but think about it."

And then disappear for a bit so she feels your absence. Maybe see her at a social event where you have other girls around you. Give her signals that she's not your only option.

Rhino3750ss · 2025-12-11T21:21:55+00:00

It's not really the initiation or conversation of exclusivity that turns women off, it's the biological dynamics that come with it.

On a subconscious level, women get turned off when you become incongruent with male mating strategy, which is to grow your options so you can spread your seed. The female mating strategy is to narrow her options down to the most preselected man.

The moment the woman knows or even suspects that you are willing to drop your options for her is when she feels like you became incongruent and it sets off her safety alarms for reasons she may not even understand because her safety mechanisms are written on her DNA.

The only way beginning a commitment can work without friction is if she has enough burning desire for you to try to convince you to commit and you have to have the indifferent "ok....I guess" energy.

Even during the commitment, you have to keep behaving like you are preselected with your temperament and demeanor... though I highly advise against physical or emotional cheating for the sake of staying congruent, there are other ways.

FinancialEmotion3526 · 2025-12-12T12:13:47+00:00

It depends on the girl’s personality. There is no consensus, both reactions are possible.

Secret_Invite_4307 · 2025-12-12T23:25:42+00:00

I wouldnt do this.

Dandys3107 · 2025-12-13T10:33:08+00:00

Ask such a question when you are sure about an answer.

OpinionThink481 · 2025-12-12T10:48:46+00:00

It’s better to let women be the one to ask for exclusivity first. Because that way you don’t risk rushing things before she is ready.

It’s very typical that many guys ask for exclusivity too soon and the woman just gets turned off as a result and distances herself more and more ruining everything simply because she felt rushed and like the guy was trying to lock her down too soon before she was ready.

Thats because many guys when they like a girl who is too attractive, they wanna secure her as soon as possible, usually due to fear that she might eventually choose another guy if he doesn’t ask her to be exclusive fast enough.

However this attitude ruins things more often than not because the guy asks too soon, and because it flips the entire dynamic, as she now becomes the prize and the guy loses leverage as he is just waiting for her to decide if she wants exclusivity which is not an effective dynamic to be in for the guy.

The woman had to feel always that she is more into the guy than the guy is into her, not by much but enough to feel like she is the one doing a but more effort than him. When that balance switches and the guy starts chasing more, starts over pursuing more it can be observed that women typically lose more and more interest.

If you ask a woman directly about this they’ll all deny it, that they prefer the man to chase, unfortunately if you do what they say then you will see more often than not that it was a mistake, that what women say they prefer isn’t necessarily what they emotionally respond to.

The say they want a guy to do one thing and then you see their history of guys and all of them did the opposite to attract her, yet she will still claim she prefers the thing that will not work with you if you try to do that.

So, it’s better to just have fun with her, hookup without labels, and let her her the one to bring the conversation, and she will typically start it by saying “what are we?”. That’s usually when you know she is likely to be ready.

So just have sex with her, and don’t try to lock her down. If she is ready she will bring it up first. So don’t do this thing on the basis that a woman says she prefers the guy, because when you do what a woman says you should do, you are way more likely to screw up. Women don’t respect guys who obey them. Simple as that.

Title	Assuming emotional connection and sexual chemistry, will asking a girl to be exclusive turn her off, or do they typically like it if the guy initiates that discussion?
Author	jgonzalez-cs
Upvotes	8
Comments	18
Date	December 11, 2025 7:09 PM UTC (7 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1pk62cx/assuming_emotional_connection_and_sexual/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/assuming-emotional-connection-and-sexual-chemistry.1568588 https://theredarchive.com/post/1568588

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