Tell me who has more appeal to the average woman out there: the nice, soft-spoken man who attends theraphy or the cocky dude with a don't-give-a-fuck attitude

BrightPapaya1349 · 2025-12-15T16:14:58+00:00

The soft-spoken man has to be ugly for this to work. If they're both equally appealing then option A sounds better especially for a long-term companionship and option B sounds exhausting. Dealing with what sounds like a teenager isn't cool. IDGAF attitude is hip when you're a teen, not so much when you're an adult with responsibilities.

autistic_cool_kid · 2025-12-15T16:14:25+00:00

False dichotomy.

You're reducing two men to a single factor when every person is more complex than this. You're also reducing "women" to a monolith.

I've done decades of therapy, I'm soft and kind, a definitive improver, and I have zero issues with women.

Confidence goes a long way, but that has nothing to do with therapy, or caring about things. This is like labeling every single men as "nerd" or "jock", people aren't archetypes.

AutoModerator · 2025-12-15T16:08:15+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "Debate" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

AutoModerator · 2025-12-15T16:08:16+00:00

Hi OP,

You've chosen to identify your thread as a Debate. As such you are expected to actively engage in your own thread with a mind open to being changed. PPD has guidelines for what that involves.

OPs author must genuinely hold the position and you must be open to having your view challenged.

An unwillingness to debate in good faith may be inferred from one or several of the following:

Ignoring the main point of a comment, especially to point out some minor inconsistency;

Refusing to make concessions that an alternate view has merit;

Focusing only on the weaker arguments;

Only having discussions with users who agree with your position.

Failure to keep to this higher standard (we only apply to Debate OPs) may result in deletion of the whole thread.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

eyewave · 2025-12-15T16:18:02+00:00

The one who goes speak to her first.

Feeling_Ad_1034 · 2025-12-15T16:19:06+00:00

Trolley problem.

NiaMiaBia · 2025-12-15T16:19:52+00:00

Do you believe these are the only 2 types of men that exist?

Expensive-Care1746 · 2025-12-15T16:20:41+00:00

In reality Option B will win if he is perceived to have more money and looks better doesn’t matter how much that looks/money gap is between option A or B they will choose the one that maxes out attraction.

Typically the younger the woman is the more you have to max out her attraction sliders for her to consider you. The older they get the more lax they are n some of those in which option A will receive preference depending on what he offers.

uglysaladisugly · 2025-12-15T16:21:10+00:00

Which average woman? The absolute average woman is almost 40 for example. Are you asking about her?

Asleep-Pin-5664 · 2025-12-15T16:22:59+00:00

I just got in trouble for not challenging debate posts and I’m not 100 percent sure what you stand for here, but I’ll share my opinion.

As someone who has hit the gym after not doing it a while I’ve noticed that women will be more sexually attracted to you if you have a muscular form. The amount of women I met that just want to sleep with me has gone up a lot when I am consistent in the gym.

However women don’t give nearly as much weight to the gym in relationships. They like guys who are confident. They generally don’t like assholes unless they are really bitchy. Nonchalance is also very attractive.

With that being said when it comes to dating women there isn’t a cookie cutter approach. You can’t make a woman like you if she’s totally not into your type. If you are a good dude then attraction can build over time.

Maybe this is beta advice but I’d say start looking at women who express interest in you first and then if you are also interested go for them. Women make it obvious imho

Vaudeville_Clown · 2025-12-15T16:24:15+00:00

Opening up about growth journeys and "working on self", big mistake. It's unappealing and screams "I'm insecure and bound to be a burden".

It's, a fine thing to be doing, but don't talk about it.

So definitely the idgaf attitude, but that one gets even better if there's real substance and effort behind, which they wouldn't pin on you to begin with. And if they catch glimpse of that, you go "Oh that? Please, it's nothing."

PrecisionHat · 2025-12-15T16:30:53+00:00

I think, generally speaking, women are plagued by cognitive dissonance to a greater degree than men when it comes to dating.

They know they should be more attracted to the sensitive guys who have their emotional shit together, but they often are more attracted to the cocky douche. They say personality matters more or that the qualities of empathy and being in touch with one's feminism side are more important, but they don't actually live by these convictions.

I think some men do this too, but I think, more often than not, they acknowledge they chase after or stay with a toxic woman because she's physically attractive or, in many cases, because she's the best they think they can do at that time.

There is a lot of cognitive dissonance in our society in general, but it applies more to progressive people because they don't experience as much pressure as other groups, like conservatives or privileged groups, to conform to a certain standard of belief; their own toxic behaviours aren't called out as often and sometimes they aren't even able to acknowledge they have them.

This is why the saying, watch what they do not what they say has validity. Plenty of people follow a social script even when they don't actually behave according to the script.

Title	Tell me who has more appeal to the average woman out there: the nice, soft-spoken man who attends theraphy or the cocky dude with a don't-give-a-fuck attitude
Author	Crazy_Kray
Upvotes	3
Comments	14
Date	December 15, 2025 4:08 PM UTC (7 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1pnb7jf/tell_me_who_has_more_appeal_to_the_average_woman/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/tell-me-who-has-more-appeal-to-the-average-woman.1568921 https://theredarchive.com/post/1568921

Comments