I’m about six months into the separation now, and the feelings of sadness have subsided.

We were together for a total of 13 years, married for 9, no kids and two dogs.

My stbxw told me on my birthday that she no longer wanted to live with me, and while it wasn’t a blindside, it felt like a massive blow to my being in every way.

Fast forward to today and we’re living apart and she moved to a city several hundred kilometers away, she’s not working and has been “focusing” on her mental health and rebuilding herself.

At first, I was really hurt and felt like a massive failure.

I tried a few dating apps to meet people and had a number of new dates and hooked up with two when, but it became overwhelming and a full time job keeping up with the DMs and ended up deleting my profiles because it was too much work keeping up with the messages.

The majority of my matches were looking for marriage and I was not interested in leading them on for the sake of getting laid, and it was a confidence boost knowing I still had something that women found attractive.

I decided to focus my energy on fitness, family and friends and it’s been very helpful around my circle who have been an amazing support for me.

The only thing holding me back from moving forward is the fact that I haven’t had a chance to hand over the dogs, and it’s starting to affect me.

At first I figured I’d tough it out, but after a while I’m now feeling very frustrated and angry with the ex for abandoning me with the dogs, I never even wanted to get dogs in the first place! I run a business and I’m unable to put any sustained effort into my work to make money. Some days the dogs are left at home alone for up to 12/13 hours, and they deserve so much better than that. Meanwhile the stbxw is basically on vacation, enjoying herself and living it up.

I gave her the ultimatum that if she doesn’t take the dogs by the end of this month I’m going to have to rehome them. she naturally freaked out and accused me of being selfish, because she really wants the dogs but can’t take them, and it’s my fault we’re in this situation. Meanwhile she gets a piece of my business income which I’m unable to generate because I’m dog sitting.

Feelings of pain and sorrow have subsided and I’m feeling completely numb of any emotions.

I’m feeling so angry for putting myself in this position, I feel like she is taking advantage of me and I don’t know what to do about it.

I can easily rehome the dogs but I know it’s going to start a war with her, she’s one of those that’s always the victim, always sensitive to what’s being said, I can’t say anything to her without it being considered as an attack.

It’s just made me bitter and angry and I’m really not interested in being around anybody, I wake up, walk the dogs, do what I need to, then rush home to walk the dogs again, sleep and do it all over again and again.

When does the bitterness and anger subside?

Feeling trapped