What the fuck is wrong with me?

Boring-Craft3864 · 2025-12-29T20:01:29+00:00

Focus on building unconditional self worth maybe, you’ll learn to teach your mind that you have inherent value that isn’t determined by external circumstances

CaStoz3 · 2025-12-29T21:44:59+00:00

I’d say really lean into hobbies, especially social hobbies. Do stuff that makes you talk to a lot of people (not necessarily female), actively work on your social skills outside of worrying about romance/sex/dating. Would highly recommend an active social hobby, eg running club.

Beyond that? Keep refining your appearance, start approaching women first & escalating, work on that mental health stuff, and it’ll come… but it won’t come if you’re just being idle, you have to take the initiative.

Foreverseeking47 · 2025-12-29T20:46:38+00:00

I think it's really good that are doing something for your trauma which is a huge part of why you are acting the way you are. There is nothing inhrerently wrong with you; you just learned to think and act in a way that doesn't serve you. Just notice how many guys on here feel exactly like you do, it's very common.

Along with the trauma release stuff, I would try to slowly put myself in situations that I find uncomfortable and slowly start to feel comfortable in these situations. Don't judge yourself or try to avoid feeling a certain way, just feel everything you have to feel to teach your body and mind that there is nothing to be afraid of; we're in 2025, you aren't gonna die for talking to a girl. You are stronger than you currently think and will realize it when you slowly start doing things in a different way while being easy on yourself.

You're 22, you have a lot of time but try not to waste too much of it, it flies by really fast. I wish I found the right information when I was that age a few years ago and feeling the way you do. If I had one advice to give you it would be to lock in on trying to feel as best as I can about myself and to accept and love myself deeply. No amount of external validation from women will ever top what you can give to yourself by getting out of your own way. All the best!

MyUsername0_0 · 2025-12-29T22:24:07+00:00

Brother relax, there's people who don't lose their virginity until way later in life like 30+. You are scared of being physical with women because you have no experience that's normal.
Honestly if girls approach you next time you get approached and are nervous just tell her you're nervous. She might think it's cute. You are scared that she will sense you are inexperienced but girls usually can't tell, everyone has a different perception.

Many people are/were in your position. You just have to go on dates and gain experience. Yeah you might fuck up or be nervous at first but you will improve. The feeling of being insecure will slowly go away and you will look back and laugh.

Remember that if you have access to a girl, YOU ARE ENOUGH for her.

Tall_Following_ · 2025-12-30T02:26:37+00:00

Honestly, you sound just like me. I didn't even kiss anybody until I turned 21, the same year I lost my virginity.

I have always struggled with approaching people, or initiating a conversation and I haven't got a clue if people are flirting with me, completely oblivious is the term I think.

Despite being told that I'm a decent looking guy.

I can't even describe myself properly in a bio, my head goes blank.

It's not an easy thing to get over (I'm still not and I'm 39) but as others have said, starting to believe in yourself more is the first step.

Browseathon · 2025-12-30T04:51:20+00:00

Mate you’re 6’7. Take a couple of weeks to fix your mindset and you’ll be kissing and making out with a girl. Take another couple of weeks to hang out with her or someone new and then have sex with her.

skunkwrxs · 2025-12-30T05:41:03+00:00

Attraction starts in the way you value and respect yourself. You need to reframe your world. “I once struggled due to bullying but as I’ve matured I’ve become much more handsome and women certainly notice it. Now I need to start building a life a women will want to be brought into and improving myself. “ Take advantage of your newfound gift and run with it. Work out, eat healthy, decide who the hell you want to be and then get after it. You write your own ticket my friend and as I’m sure you’re noticing, women assess value upon meeting you by how you carry and value yourself.

Actual-Nose6464 · 2025-12-30T22:50:02+00:00

Go to the gym, meditate, visualize your goals, read Mark Manson (models) and approach everyone

CTWaythenthen · 2025-12-31T21:10:28+00:00

You're 22 with barely any experience. That's what's wrong with you.

You need to get out there and start talking to people. Ask them out. Don't just sit around waiting for some girl to throw herself at you. That's not how this works.

Ditch the video games. Read books. Go to the gym 2-3 times a week. Eat fresh foods. Work on interesting hobbies (gaming and anime are NOT interesting hobbies). Maintain a social life with your peers and loved ones. Invest in people.

Show the world you're here to kick ass... and believe me women will notice and swoon when you go up to talk to them (with exceptions of course).

ApartmentWorried5692 · 2026-01-03T01:20:44+00:00

I missed out on girls in high school because I have PTSD from childhood trauma despite being good looking and 6’4”. I remember being 22 and still insecure. I was a victim of abuse at home and in school, so I kinda isolated myself from everyone because that’s what made me feel safe. Then I made friends and met girls and they all flooded me with compliments, I never knew what that felt like.

Best piece of advice I have is to dig deep into your psyche and find out where it all started because chances are, it snowballed into other things like anxiety and depression which makes you a target for bullying at school. For me, it started with my dad throwing temper tantrums at me at a very young age. So I was SUPER uncomfortable around other kids, not just girls in school. My body was always prepared to get screamed at and everything made me uncomfortable like socializing or going to any event. Nothing felt comfortable unless I was alone and things were quiet. Now as an adult, I’m healing my self and I feel MUCH better knowing that the reason I failed in HS wasn’t because of my looks, it was because my nervous system was fucked before I had the chance to grow. I was the “quiet kid”. I could barely make eye contact with people. I always wondered what the FUCK was wrong with me because everyone else was soo calm about doing things I’d find panic-inducing like talking in groups.

So what’s wrong with you? Likely PTSD. Your body goes into fight-or-flight whenever you interact with people.

ThatDarnSmell · 2025-12-30T07:34:03+00:00

At 22, you have much greater priorities to work on like saving money, starting to invest, working towards a career and so forth. Don't worry about your dating life. You can obviously try for dates, but it's no big deal if you aren't having much luck with it.

ChicoBrillo · 2025-12-29T23:08:05+00:00

At least you've identified the psychological barriers, a lot of people don't even realize that they suffer from low self-esteem and thinking they're unworthy. You're still quite young although it may not feel like it, you have time and you're on the right track.

YetzirahToAhssiah · 2025-12-29T23:47:35+00:00

Honestly, OP, you may not need to fix all your mindset issues. Work on that as much as you can, of course.

But really, if you can just make a move at the right times (like when that girl was staring at your lips), you can make out or sleep with some girls, and that should go a long way towards fixing your self-esteem.

I exposed myself to frequent rejection through a sales job. It's really just an essential life skill.

If talking to a few girls around campus isn't going to crush your spirit, then that's what I would suggest.

Go to all the social events you get invited to. Go to a few frat parties (for the different frats). Go to different events that different clubs put on.

If you go through enough social circles, college girls (who are plenty forward) will often approach you, be obvious, and if you don't make all the right moves, at least get her contact and invite her to hang out.

ultratraditionalist · 2025-12-29T23:50:52+00:00

You have low self-worth. You do not need the validation of a woman. Women, like us, are flawed creatures with their own insecurities. Therapy can be good, but I feel for most people it's a panacea. Some of the most fucked up people I know have been going to therapy for years.

What you need to do is build out an action-plan, meditate daily, etc. For example, try doing this the next year: list 10 reasons why you're awesome. In any boring notebook, just write down 10 reasons every single day; they can be boring, silly, or dumb, but it's important you bring up your self-worth or you will never be happy, regardless of your external circumstances. Try to make them more than skin-deep, so "being 6'7'" would be a bad reason but "I'm kind" or "I'm loyal" or "I give good advice" would be good reasons.

There are other exercises, but I think this would be a good start. You will start making decisions that align with your newfound self-worth in the first 3-6 months. This might mean removing people from your life that are taking advantage of you, calling out girls that are trying to string you along, having better boundaries and better relationships, etc. All women will find this inherently attractive, as this kind of confidence rooted in character is a deeply masculine trait.

KoleSekor · 2025-12-30T00:18:15+00:00

You know what's wrong with you... You think you're not good enough. Get to the root of why you think that. For me, it's about self-love and self-respect.

I think to love yourself unconditionally is a conscious choice you must make.

And I think self-respect comes from competence, consistently leaving comfort zone, and keeping your composure during challenging situations.

Imscubbabish · 2025-12-30T08:08:51+00:00

Build up some self love

peepeeman9001 · 2025-12-30T14:00:48+00:00

Title	What the fuck is wrong with me?
Author	FishNSticks
Upvotes	26
Comments	38
Date	December 29, 2025 7:44 PM UTC (7 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1pyw1ay/what_the_fuck_is_wrong_with_me/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-the-fuck-is-wrong-with-me.1569976 https://theredarchive.com/post/1569976

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