Guys that never got girls in a club setting, what changes did you make to get lucky?

chief-kefir · 2026-01-23T23:28:36+00:00

Going out is all about energy. You have to match or exceed the energy of the room.

Doesn't matter the venue (bar, club, bowling alley, etc.) If you're at a bar, you drink, laugh and have fun. If you're at bowling alley, you bowl, eat, laugh and have fun. If you're at a club, guess what? You're going to have to dance and let loose. Also, don't forget to laugh and have fun.

Once you match/exceed the energy of the room, you'll get attention. Master that first.

TrixoftheTrade · 2026-01-23T18:45:45+00:00

Met my fiance at a club.

The best thing I did was stop making attracting women the goal. I go out to have a good time, hang out, catch up with friends, and dance. And if I vibe with someone, we vibe.

shlomobo · 2026-01-24T05:43:09+00:00

If you want to connect with women in clubs you need to feel comfortable in clubs first. A few people here already mentioned to have fun and a positive energy.

If you only go out to pick up a woman you‘ll likely be too desperate.

Approaching in clubs and approaching in settings like on the street or during grocery shopping is completely different because in clubs it‘s all about attention and social games.

In clubs you need to be „fun“ and exciting to gain and hold the attention of a woman. And appearance is more important than in other settings.

If you feel comfortable in clubs you can easily be fun and excitingly. If not, better focus on other settings or first learn to feel comfortable in clubs.

jackthehat6 · 2026-01-23T18:41:56+00:00

how do your friends do it? Do they do anything different to you or are they just much better looking?

But to answer you question, for me it was volume. I actually started getting laid quite a lot at one point because I MASSIVELY increased my volume. I went from years of never getting laid on nights out (and maybe making 4 approaches on them nights) to getting laid most weekends, but making at least 40-50 approaches per night

Budget-Kick822 · 2026-01-23T19:58:10+00:00

What are you getting angry at?

Chew_512 · 2026-01-23T20:30:25+00:00

Go to Medellin, learn to dance and hide any foreign accent and you’ll make it happen

Accomplished-Pen7695 · 2026-01-23T22:26:47+00:00

Just be bold my friend.

Routine-Sky-5529 · 2026-01-23T23:29:48+00:00

Approach

High Energy

JazzleRazzle · 2026-01-24T09:11:18+00:00

Stopped giving a fuck. I’m there to dance and drink. Me and some friends randomly walked into a club in San Diego while I was wearing a hoodie, board shorts and flip flops. Pulled a pretty Korean girl that night. That night taught me that I was wayyy overthinking things and needed to relax.

DefeatTheUp · 2026-01-24T01:36:12+00:00

Go for fun, not validation. Confidence follows.

Friendly-Media4214 · 2026-01-23T23:55:02+00:00

Clubs really aren’t my scene but I’ve updated several waitresses from breakfast joints. Lol.

Andruschko · 2026-01-24T00:09:53+00:00

Get good

jimmybanana · 2026-01-24T00:49:12+00:00

Become a DJ.

Shadow__Account · 2026-01-24T10:47:07+00:00

I did get more success in clubs but it never became my thing. Just know that maybe it isnt for you and if thats the case dont spend 20 years trying to figure out how to make it work.

Club game is way less verbal, more confidence attraction, leading, being physical.

So for a classically introverted guy or even one that worked on himself a lot and became much more smooth with words, it might not be the place.

If thats not the case, what got me more succesful is like before mentioned. Being more leading, physical, non verbal, strong eye contact, confident as in assuming someone likes you.

The first success I had in a club was actually without a word. Got pushed in a group of girls, danced akwardly for a couple of seconds, one girl started rubbing up against me and i grabbed her and kissed her.

Ok-Philosophy5181 · 2026-01-24T16:41:51+00:00

HAVE FUN. Energy attracts

star_wars_the_501st · 2026-01-24T18:20:44+00:00

Peacock

Irakozium · 2026-01-24T21:31:56+00:00

Go out with a female, or if you're planning a night out with male friends, do all you can to make it a mixed group!! It doesn't matter if it's a friend, a colleague, a sister or a cousin. When you're out at venues like bars, clubs, festivals, you want to show 'social proof'.

It says to other women that you know how to make a woman be safe and comfortable, that she enjoys being in your presence, and this makes other women let their guard down towards you if ever you should approach them. Even if they reject you, you won't, funnily enough, be bothered by it. You'll stay non-needy deep in your bones. Having female company at those kinds of venues is kind of an emotional safety net that lets you stay grounded in your masculine frame of non-neediness.

spacecowboy993 · 2026-01-24T21:54:35+00:00

When I’ve gone to the clubs to meet women, I’d have a terrible time meeting them.

But when I went out to have fun with the boys or by myself , the energy, the laughs, the drinks flowing, everyone dancing, etc. the girls were more receptive.

One time i was briefly unemployed, about to lose everything and they invited me out, went and was having a good time when half way through the night a fine ass Latina came up, pulled me in by the neck and whispered in my ear “you fine asf, you’re coming with me”.

FearInoculumTool · 2026-01-23T20:51:36+00:00

If you go to a club without the intention to pickup girls, how do you end up being angry if you don’t? That’s mean you are attached to an outcome, you just don’t admit it to yourself.

Here is the secret about women: you can only have them when you are willing to lose them/let them go.

It seems that you are too attached to picking up a girl and going home with her. Practice focusing on the process and not the outcome. Be okay with whatever the outcome is and wherever the chips may fall.

One way to do this is to stick to a single action point and not doing or thinking beyond it. For example, the next time you go out, practice just smiling and saying hi to women. Even if they smile back don’t engage. Just let it be. Don’t expect anything in return. Don’t try to get them to like you.

After some practice you will feel better about letting go. The next step might be to strike up conversations with a few women. Let’s say when you are the bar, ask a girl “what are you drinking? This cocktail looks so interesting!” Or “hey how’s Friday night going! Ready to get that party started!”. Then chat and banter a little bit and then move on. Don’t try to continue the conversation, don’t linger. Just excuse yourself.

With enough practice you will start attaching less and less meaning to a specific outcome and you will be able to interact with women in a natural manner. Soon enough you will be confident enough where you will get a signal from a woman, you will calmly walk over to her and strike a conversation without any games. And she will just like you. Without you having to do much.

Technical-Appeal7768 · 2026-01-23T18:39:40+00:00

I just meet them during the day, at bars, or on the apps man. Clubs aren’t my scene anyway

Title	Guys that never got girls in a club setting, what changes did you make to get lucky?
Author	Adventurous_Click667
Upvotes	23
Comments	23
Date	January 23, 2026 6:20 PM UTC (5 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1qkyie0/guys_that_never_got_girls_in_a_club_setting_what/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/guys-that-never-got-girls-in-a-club-setting-what.1571794 https://theredarchive.com/post/1571794

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