Would it be weird to not get my husband a V Day gift?

InevitableKiwi5776 · 2026-02-05T17:08:11+00:00

You shouldn't continue to give him gifts expecting a different outcome. It seems like you care about this much more than him. It sounds like he told you that they are not meaningful to him, but you continued to give him gifts and cards because you wanted them. Give yourself a gift if you want one. If he says something you can always say "I can't be the only one giving gifts in our marriage."

If you are truly trying to work on your marriage, figure out how to express your love, respect and admiration in other ways that he appreciates.

_blushpink · 2026-02-05T19:03:42+00:00

Thank you for your input! I really love the idea of the binder of cards for myself. Maybe I’ll just start writing love letters to myself 😜

Forsaken-Savings4370 · 2026-02-05T20:10:03+00:00

My boyfriend doesn’t like planning dates. He’s not a date person. As Alison Armstrong from the Queens Code said in a recent podcast, it just means your guy doesn’t like planning dates and that’s okay. It doesn’t mean more than that and even if you tell him, if it’s out of his scope it’s just out of his scope. So now I plan dates and don’t expect him to but if and when he does, I appreciate him for it! It seems the same for your guy, if he’s providing you money to buy something, then you could make it fun and after you get it be like…. Thank you so much love for this new bag hehe ❤️ or something. Men have a hierarchy to how their brains work that’s face value

Noressa · 2026-02-05T17:41:31+00:00

I feel like he's told you how he's felt about it. So take that and be free.

With that said, your marriage is going through some tough times and he's said these things are things that don't matter to him. In that case, I'd mention that you weren't going to be doing the things that he didn't care about. I'd also use this opportunity to see what he would like and what you could do for holidays.

As for not getting you anything, I would mention that it is important to you to celebrate in some fashion. See if he'd be open to getting you a gift from a pre-made curated gift list. Or letting you purchase something as though it was from him.

If you do truly love writing things on cards, I would consider building a binder of cards to celebrate, but for you. Your joys, your dreams, your loves, your highlights. Reference it to bring you joy and a smile when you need it.

123helpppppthrowaway · 2026-02-07T05:04:59+00:00

Oh I’m in a similar boat. I scheduled myself a massage and I’m going to get myself some yummy takeout after. No shame anymore. If they don’t care, at least care for yourself.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2026-02-06T04:30:03+00:00

By all means don’t bother getting him a gift for Valentine’s Day. He probably won’t notice or care. If I never got another gift or another compliment for the rest of my life, I would be perfectly fine. Your husband sounds like he probably feels the same way.

NationalMouse · 2026-02-05T16:41:16+00:00

That really sucks but you knew this about him before you married him so don’t expect him to change now. If that were me and he wouldn’t buy me gifts then I would reach for the sky and ask him for the most beautiful expensive handbag (or whatever you love and want the most) I know he can afford. Honestly the best way not to feel resentment if you have to pick out your own gifts is to pick out a really beautiful expensive one that you would never buy yourself. You might feel that’s out of the question budget-wise but you’d be surprised at what your man will do to keep you happy. A new pair of diamond earrings can go a loooooong way and erase all that resentment that you felt just because you had to pick them out and purchase them yourself (with his credit card). 🤷

flower_power_g1rl · 2026-02-06T11:19:02+00:00

It's not weird, but it's sad.

AutoModerator · 2026-02-05T15:08:04+00:00

Title: Would it be weird to not get my husband a V Day gift?

Author _blushpink

Full text: My (34F) husband (36M) and I have been together for 9 years and married for 3. We have been working on our marriage after a lot of issues over the years.

Usually for holidays/anniversaries I write my husband a really nice, heartfelt card with a small gift. My husband is not big on gift giving or card writing so he usually doesn’t get me anything but once in awhile gets me a card or flowers. He has no problem with me buying something for myself for holidays/birthdays but has never actually gifted me anything himself.

He’s never given me a gift or flowers or a card for our anniversary even before any of our marital issues and I expressed to him that it bothered me a few months ago when our anniversary came around. I told him even just a card would be appreciated. He essentially told me that cards don’t mean anything and that they’re just words. This was very hurtful to hear as I put a lot of love into writing my cards for him.

With Valentine’s Day coming up, I really don’t want to give him anything or a card because I just feel resentful about it at this point. I don’t want to put effort into holidays without it being reciprocated. My question is - would it be wrong to stop after almost 10 years of doing it? I don’t THINK he’ll care or even notice but I don’t want to risk coming off as petty especially while trying to work on our rocky marriage.

And my second question is - how do I get over the resentment of not receiving gifts for holidays? I don’t want to force him, I just wish he WANTED to do it for me but it’s just not him.

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pearlsandstilettos · 2026-02-15T03:01:18+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	Would it be weird to not get my husband a V Day gift?
Author	_blushpink
Upvotes	11
Comments	22
Date	February 5, 2026 3:08 PM UTC (5 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1qwnq8q/would_it_be_weird_to_not_get_my_husband_a_v_day/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/would-it-be-weird-to-not-get-my-husband-a-v-day.1572776 https://theredarchive.com/post/1572776

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