Accepting the fact that I will never get a girlfriend

Pilot_giuseppe · 2026-06-02T23:08:47+00:00

You can't logic women, you have to appeal to them emotionally

You'll be fine with a change in mindset. I can tell from your post that you value yourself highly which is good, it's just about seeing that women's values operate differently to yours.

I lived it...change from 'i'm brilliant why doesn't anyone want me' to 'im fun to be around and have positive vibes, you'll get so many girls you won't know what to do.

MineDesperate2920 · 2026-06-02T23:20:08+00:00

Do u want to fix it or just stay alone

dexter884 · 2026-06-02T23:24:27+00:00

A girlfriend complements your life, but cannot cure depression. Take a break from dating to focus on your career, fitness, and building a life you love alone.

lameboigenie · 2026-06-02T23:37:51+00:00

You sound delusional tbh. You describe yourself as the best guy ever but also a total loser. This goes way back probably

eablokker · 2026-06-02T23:51:04+00:00

Short answer: you have depression. Get Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. It is the most studied and one of the most effective treatments for depression.

Long answer: Your thoughts are the result of your emotional state. Emotions influence thoughts, and thoughts influence emotions. They form a recursive loop. That means there are two places we can intervene: we can intervene in the thoughts, and we can intervene in the emotions. For maximal effect we can intervene in both.

First we need to identify which emotions are behind those negative thoughts. For example, "I will never get a girlfriend" could be the result of feeling hopeless, sad, lonely, frustrated, rejected, etc. List the emotions you feel about this, and write down the intensity of each on a scale of 0-10. This is not a logical exercise, this is a feeling exercise. We need to neutralize the emotional energy by allowing ourselves to feel it. Don't resist feeling these emotions, resistance makes then stronger. We need to allow them to happen and pass on their own. Resistance leads to the negative thoughts. Allowing them causes them to dissipate and complete so they don't have to keep coming up. 3-5 minutes of feeling is all it takes.

Next we can work on the thoughts. We need to find the "cognitive distortions" or logical fallacies in the thoughts. For example, "I will never get a girlfriend." Are you a time traveler? Do you have some advanced alien technology that can predict the future with 100% accuracy? It should be evident that there is no accuracy to this statement. A more realistic statement might be "I don't have a girlfriend and I don't know how to get one yet." It's the same truth, but without the distortion.

Here is a list of the most common cognitive distortions: https://arfamiliesfirst.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/Cognitive-Distortions.pdf

Write down each of your negative thoughts, and next to each one, write down how the statement is distorted, and then write a more rational version of the statement.

For example:

Negative thought: "If no woman that I like has shown this kind of interest in me ever; then it will never happen."

Cognitive distortions: Overgeneralization. Jumping to conclusions - fortune telling.

Rational response: "So far the women that I've interacted with have not shown the kind of interest that I'm hoping to see, but that doesn't mean that it could never happen."

Do this for each of your negative thoughts. It works better if you've done the emotional piece first.

Practical_Buy_1406 · 2026-06-03T00:23:59+00:00

Go out and talk to 1000 women within a 6 months, I promise you one will like you. Just don’t lead with that self pity garbage, takes one to know one trust me I’ve been there. If you don’t have a girlfriend after 1000 solid approaches w/ serious intent then come find me , I’ll personally secure you one.

Ok_Potential359 · 2026-06-03T00:48:44+00:00

Not with that attitude. Don't even need to read the self pity post.

Extreme_Perception38 · 2026-06-02T23:06:13+00:00

I think you're not handsome then. Handsome guys get chicks easily

tbh_idgafaboutu · 2026-06-02T23:36:19+00:00

I was in your shoes at one point.. I just woke up one day and got sick of feeling sorry for myself so i decided to be more social and make friends. Then i went and brought new clothes n shoes to clean my image up a little bit. After that i brought a small cologne collection to maintain a good scent.

Next thing i know my friend introduced me to his co-worker and we immediately hit it off.

Now i got a gf that loves me and lets me bury my face in her big boobs ..

korok7mgte · 2026-06-02T23:48:28+00:00

Okay...you said a lot of good stuff about yourself.

But if your so intelligent, why can't you figure this out for yourself? If those girls are choosing players that don't deserve them...what? Are you implying that you're going to treat them better?

They obviously don't want to be treated better.

If no woman has touched you your entire life are you really that handsome?

I'm not trying to be mean. You just stated a bunch of contradictory things. If you could see the contradictions. Maybe that would be enough.

Put some work in and start talking to strangers. Otherwise die a virgin.

vertascend · 2026-06-03T03:50:27+00:00

Just keep sitting there and wait for someone to just fall onto your lap

Now if you’re done feeling self pity; how’s about you get out there and make some mistakes and learn how to interact; you’re finding problems right now not solutions,

There’s always a solution, you just have to find it; good thing is that you are just looking for one, not looking for hookups

My advice is cold approach, keep your intentions good, some countries may be more difficult to do this like India, if you find it hard then travel, find a way and check out the world, go backpacking or something,

O_Pacity · 2026-06-03T23:59:31+00:00

A mind set change... never put yourself down, you can outsource that to everyone else (totally for free). Understand your place in life then use that for your advantage.

No one has interest in you, not there problem, granted you may not think this is fair, well no one said life is fair. All that spare time work on your self, not to be better for others, but for you.. whether its a hobby and work, go on training, you have time on your hands.. get better at sometimes, for me that is working, ive done professional training which ive benefited from alot... no one else has interest but then i knew that already. Last done expect any self improvement will make people show interest, thats a DNA thing you cant change.

Back2theCouture · 2026-06-04T12:08:56+00:00

I am a very logical and smart person with deep intellect, and some facts in life you just accept.

Reminds me of Sheldon in Big Bang Theory tv show.

I think the first thing you gotta do is re-evaluate yourself. Because how you see yourself now is not helping you in getting women to even like you.

confused_8357 · 2026-06-05T15:08:02+00:00

Hey i am in my early 20s and a nerd and never had a gf. Never even bothered to , but similar to u..i am quite smart and have done well academically . So i used my intellect to figure out women.

I read everything i could find on female sexuality and in general male female dynamics

I understood what inner game is and i learned to cold approach

I have done around 240 approaches and now landing atleast 1 date per month and sometimes 2 girls .

I have quite cute but 5'7 and have grown masssive balls

Juat saying..if i can change my life , u can too.. use those brains abd understand these societal dynamics

musicbyMOE · 2026-06-03T00:39:28+00:00

Have a Personality

Matter_Still · 2026-06-03T10:59:25+00:00

Thirty-four comments and only one guy had the good sense to address the most important thing: the guy's claim that he was "severely depressed". He may or may not be, but to give him fortune-cookie advice is exhibit A of what makes seddit such a dangerous place at times. I've seen comments advocating erotic strangulation and non-consensual BDSM.

Title	Accepting the fact that I will never get a girlfriend
Author	DistinctClass4042
Upvotes	0
Comments	66
Date	June 2, 2026 11:04 PM UTC (2 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1tv7aj2/accepting_the_fact_that_i_will_never_get_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/accepting-the-fact-that-i-will-never-get-a.1581935 https://theredarchive.com/post/1581935

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