All I wanted was to be a wife but now idk what to do

chamomilecloud · 2026-06-11T22:47:37+00:00

I say this with all the love and respect in the world. You are 22 years old, you got married at 18, and you are trying to save a marriage that is, quite frankly, not salvageable. He cheated on you, gaslit you about it, and does not respect you.

You bringing this up upsets him because he wants you to be docile and accept his infidelity. This is one of those situations that is outside of the scope of RPW — think about your future. Think about whether you want to eventually have kids with this kind of man. You probably don’t.

Pale_Lab_1517 · 2026-06-12T00:18:55+00:00

“I love my husband and I want to work this out but idk how to bring this up to him without upsetting him.”

But he was already dogging you for over a year behind your back. Wasn’t he already upsetting you in the most heinous way AND smiling in your face?!?

Ma’am why are you worried about hurting him?!?

Wife_and_Mama · 2026-06-11T23:59:02+00:00

I got divorced at 23. I'm 38 now, married to a much better man for 9 years with five kids. You're plenty young to start over and have the life you want with a man who respects you.

rosesonthefloor · 2026-06-12T02:25:23+00:00

You said you’d like to salvage your marriage, but what is left to salvage? Your husband has disrespected your marriage vows and lied to you about it.

If you’re okay with knowing that he will very likely keep cheating, then sure, you can look at trying to talk with him about setting boundaries like making sure you don’t know the details, etc. But based on your comment about this being devastating to you, I don’t think this is something you’d be okay with.

Also think about the fact that whatever children you raise in this marriage will learn from you and your husband what love is supposed to look like. Would you be okay with your son thinking that cheating is perfectly okay in a marriage, and with your daughter being in the same situation as you are now?

You don’t have to answer these questions here, but think long and hard about how okay you are if nothing at all were to change going forward. Because if you stay, that’s what’s likely to happen.

MamaOThree · 2026-06-12T00:40:27+00:00

First and foremost, I’m sorry. This is a horrible situation to be in and I’m sorry you’re experiencing it. I left my marriage at around the same age as you and it was the absolute best thing I ever did. I have been happily married to a man for better than I deserve for the last 11 years in my life is truly better than I could ever imagine. There is better out there than this for you, do not settle for being unwanted.

TradesforChurros · 2026-06-12T00:48:20+00:00

You have your whole life ahead of you. He doesn’t deserve you.

Fit_Surround_2468 · 2026-06-13T16:31:11+00:00

WITHOUT UPSETTING HIM??????? Excuse me???

henrycatalina · 2026-06-12T13:44:45+00:00

Neither husband or wife should be excepted from auditing behavior and complaints. There can be many reasons that people cheat. No matter the reason, infidelity is weakness in not having sufficient fortitude to either end a marriage or repair it. Giving into lust is a character flaw. Lust is normal but you never act.

You deserve a man with integrity that owns his behavior and decsions. Don't resent all men.

Party_Potential4102 · 2026-06-12T12:27:25+00:00

I was in this exact situation at your age but also had a baby and was a stay at home mom. I was so miserable doing everything while he never lifted a finger, and thought it would be the worst thing in the world to leave and I wouldnt be worth anything. When I did finally get the courage to leave after about the 4 year mark, I felt FREE! Yes, it was hard finding a job and starting over with a baby. But I would go back and do it 100 times over. Your so young and have all your life ahead of you. I say this with love and experience. Get to know yourself, have fun, try new thing, and travel. Do what you want to do and true love will fall in your lap❤️

Bimb0bratz · 2026-06-13T02:59:27+00:00

Stop this. You’re 22. Leave him. You’re still young. You have a WHOLE life ahead of you. Go and figure out what you love and what who you really are. Do it before you end up 35 with no achievements to look back on.

ArkNemesis00 · 2026-06-12T03:01:55+00:00

I would guess the coworker is telling you because she wants your husband to leave you and is tired of waiting. I would expect them to start a public relationship in the event of your divorce. I wouldn't expect that relationship to last long without him cheating on her.

Personally I would hold off on telling him. You run the risk of him ending the marriage right there, or asking for you to accept the affair.

I would take deep stock of your financial situation at the moment and decide how you may move forward without him and where you would go. A husband who would cheat on you isn't likely to be one that will take care of you long term.

Sachin820 · 2026-06-12T10:12:24+00:00

Sorry to say girl but you deserve much better than this. Even after you doing a lot for him, he still choosed to cheat you which is unacceptable at any given point of time. I get it you wanna try to save this marriage but lemme ask you something, can you live like this forever? Knowing what your husband has done behind the scenes... I guess the answer is no, so better confront to him about this and leave him and move on. I know this sounds harsh and direct but that's what I would do. At the end of the day, it's your life, so you decide yourself what you want in your life

VasiliyZaitzev · 2026-06-12T04:41:44+00:00

I just want to say that I am sorry that this happened to you. As you describe events, it is patently unfair.

Own_Figure_441 · 2026-06-18T00:25:10+00:00

How does a high school student marry a 22 year old man
asking for a friends.

This gotta be some codependcy shh

AutoModerator · 2026-06-11T22:38:20+00:00

Title: All I wanted was to be a wife but now idk what to do

Author UrM0m93

Full text: I 22(F) married my husband husband (26M) 4 years ago, the day we got married I was over the moon but I feel since our wedding day everything went downhill. I wanted so bad to be the perfect wife I never nagged, never asked him to do chores, never asked where he was going or who he was going to said place with but it always felt with my minimal questions, he brushed me off still. About a year ago he started acting really weird and i asked him if he was cheating on me because I felt like he was being really secretive and strange, he told me I was being crazy but about 2 months ago his co-worker texted me a bunch of videos of them sleeping together that span of a year and a half of them being together and I feel so devastated, I love my husband and I want to work this out but idk how to bring this up to him without upsetting him. I don’t want this woman to have my man but I just feel so lost and idk what to do.

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ShadowWalkercz · 2026-06-15T07:54:04+00:00

I'm a male thats year younger then you and i want you to know one thing, man like that don't change... i know this from personal experience with my friends, i understand you were together for a long time, but if you don't divorce him, he won't change, he will just keep doing it behind your back with the same coworker or someone else... the only way people like that change and even then Its a small chance is when reality hits them... i'm sorry but this isn't salvagable, let him go, He might change and become a decent human being with someone else, but never with you... go live a little, travel if you can, explore what you love... go to college, i know people that are a lot older then you and are still studying... you're young and i'm sure you can find someone who will love you with all their heart, but that man isnt your current husband i'm sorry...

and i wish you a lot of luck

satonmywindow · 2026-06-15T22:34:02+00:00

You need to focus on yourself. Get a job, do some self-care, find a hobby, anything that is not just devoting yourself to any man, let alone this loser guy you've been married to. Let her have him, you are better than this!

Empty-Band-7529 · 2026-06-16T12:11:48+00:00

A man who loves you will NEVER ask you to be quiet or leaving you with all the chores. A man who loves you will pay all the bills and will help you doing the chores or do all of them by himself (if you say the right words).
A man who loves you will never leave the house without telling you where he goes or without bringing you too.
Y’all marry men who barely stand you and act like a doormat. They only marry you because y’all are literal doormats and they know they can’t get the women they want anyway so they end up with whoever acts as his slave. My doormat usually gets more respect than this. WAKE UPPP!

Title	All I wanted was to be a wife but now idk what to do
Author	UrM0m93
Upvotes	22
Comments	43
Date	June 11, 2026 10:38 PM UTC (1 month ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1u3ds5q/all_i_wanted_was_to_be_a_wife_but_now_idk_what_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/all-i-wanted-was-to-be-a-wife-but-now-idk-what-to.1582604 https://theredarchive.com/post/1582604

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