What do you think about the epidemic of male loneliness? Do you think it exists?

Instigated- · 2026-06-28T20:19:33+00:00

Increase in loneliness for both men and women, but women are maybe more likely to seek useful help than men.

Redpill/manosphere doesn’t necessarily create the loneliness (many men are already lonely before they seek out content) however absolutely accelerates it as it sends so many negative nihilistic messages, often the advice makes people more isolated, more insecure, more self hatred, it punches down, discourages men addressing their feelings or mental health etc

Society isn’t working for most of us, the cost of living and job insecurity means people often move around a lot more and can’t put down roots, which basically destroy the social fabric.

People move away from the the neighbourhood they grew up in, away from family and friends, and then might continue changing home every 2-5years, as well as frequently changing jobs - new neighbours, new work colleagues, new schools, new friends, etc. This is multiplied across the whole population so even the ones lucky enough to have a steady job and home may find others transitioning through their lives. Both the casual social networks are frayed, as well as all the community and volunteer run organisations that used to be the lifeblood of communities and had lifelong members.

The social/dating scene has changed a lot. Where I live the pubs/clubs/bars have been taken over by gambling pokie machines and big screen tvs that stream sports all the time. Many used to have live music, trivia, or just a nice spot to have a drink or a meal with friends.

The dating apps are terrible. Earlier years of online dating at least tried to match people by interests and personality, not all on looks, however the capitalism and enshitification model gives the illusion of options without any real intention of forming real connections.

Worse it uncouples dating from the usual social network it would have occurred within in the past, and without that a lot of people behave badly. People don’t treat strangers with the basic respect they would if it was their friend’s sister or a friend of a friend.

The manosphere/redpill has certainly given women a lot more to be afraid of and wary about. When I grew up we didn’t really ever think about the possibility of someone spiking our drinks. It no doubt happened occasionally to some people ( no one I know of ) however i think it became way more common over the last 15yrs. Plus PUA.

And yeah, for many women, if a man starts talking RP, it is a massive turn off and redflag. Some men would rather argue RP than actually have a girlfriend.

blueRoseFairy631 · 2026-06-30T09:43:38+00:00

no lol. What happens is that women can now afford to be more selective and a lot off men are angry about that fact

smileycat007 · 2026-06-29T00:26:29+00:00

If a collective group of men say it exists, then it probably exists. They're bringing a lot of it on themselves, though, making it just as much an epidemic of male consequences.

Hating on women may get women's attention, but it won't endear them to the cause or rally any sympathy. To someone feeling invisible, negative attention feels better than none at all, even if it doesn't cure loneliness long term.

I believe there was a perfect storm of reasons this came about:

Feminism offered a clear road map for women's way forward, but it didn't explicitly set any instructions for men, just vague expectations. So men largely went about their business. Most adjusted just fine. This was hardly the only change in their world, so life went on. A few committed mothers and fathers dutifully raised sons to help around the house. A couple of generations later, a small minority of males (who have life pretty easy compated to their grandparents) went looking for someone to blame for their lack of motivation or success.
Then came social media, highly addictive, rotting brains, and spreading false information across the globe. It mercilessly killed the social skills of many young people, but managed to convince everyone it was a necessity. Boys think porn is a how-to manual (it is most definitely NOT), and get a very dark and twisted view on healthy sexual relations. Those who failed to adjust to feminism (e.g. those who fear competing with women in the classroom and in the workplace) found other men willing to exploit their money and time.

Women had been ogling new fashions, hairstyles, and beauty products since shortly after the invention of the printing press. After a few hundred years, most had learned to treat it as entertainment, not a standard they must match. When social media held up a similar mirror to males, however, it unleashed an avalanche of body dysmorphia.

The increased isolation from social media and too much screen time in general wreaked havoc on mental health, particularly for youth. Treatment availability is spotty. Boys fare worse here because their communication style is full of one-upmanship, competition, trash talk. Women communicate in a more nurturing and supportive manner.
High school pregnancies are way down. Some girls have opted for longer virginity. This is a positive development for all girls whose futures would be derailed and who are too young and financially unprepared to be good parents. Mysteriously, high school boys have developed a heightened sense of entitlement to sex and are furious - primarily because they have landed in the online manosphere which feeds those feelings of entitlement. These are boys that SHOULD be virgins due to their young age and the hefty responsibilities that come with being sexually active.

O-shoe · 2026-06-28T18:41:51+00:00

What redpillers say doesn't really have anything to do with the epidemic in large. Yes, it exists. And it's not only men, it's also women. The reasons for this epidemic go deep. It has a lot to do with social media (unrealistic expectations for a partner), dating apps (easy to leave somebody, because it's easy to find a replacement), porn. And overall this modern culture of instant gratification.

WknessTease · 2026-06-28T18:49:53+00:00

The loneliness epidemic is very real, just as is the unemployment epidemic, mental health issue epidemic, lack of purpose epidemic, lack of hope epidemic, ...

The red pill has identified the problems but offers the wrong solutions.

We will need to tackle the problems and find actual solutions if we don't want to implode as a society.

itzReborn · 2026-06-28T21:34:24+00:00

Yes the loneliness epidemic for men exist and no it isn’t ONLY about relationships. It’s multiple reports and studies show men have less friendships, go to college less, graduate less, joining the workforce less, obviously dating less, and of course self delete themselves more.

All these things are connected and driving the male loneliness problem. Yes women face similar issues but it doesn’t seem to be to the same extent. Social media and algorithms are also aiding the advancement of this problem.

What I don’t think many people understand is that red/black pill stuff is that guys don’t just seek those things out for fun. They seek those things out because they usually want advice(for me it was about how to get girls, but I didn’t like the generic advice and I had to go deeper, which is how I became aware of RP.). In terms of black pill I think people discount people’s real life experiences with certain situations, of course not every situation is the same and final but I could understand the thought process that leads down

On top of that the advice people give in those places aren’t totally wrong (or at least back then it wasn’t, I don’t explore those places anymore) but I feel like most people aren’t good at picking at the good information and leaving the bad information

I don’t know I’m chronically online sadly so I feel like I’ve had a front row seat to how these things are playing out.

LolliaSabina · 2026-06-30T17:19:00+00:00

I agree with the others that it's not just men. However, I do think that men frequently don't have the same support network that women do – although I don't think this is a very new phenomenon. I also think that men can face a lot more judgment when they struggle. (Brene Brown talks about this some here: https://www.ted.com/talks/brene\_brown\_listening\_to\_shame)

Nuclearwaifu · 2026-07-06T08:04:19+00:00

Mass scale alienation is a natural effect of capitalism. It‘s called capitalist alienation. The patriarchy in it‘s generic state demands a nuclear family structure. One includes the working man aka the husband, the other used to be the unpayed breeder slave aka the woman to spell it out crudely. Now women have ofc gained human rights so women aren‘t reliant on male partners for survival. But dual incomes are still endorsed and rewarded by the system. The loneliness issue arises in my theory partially due to gender segregation. Men and women are socially segregated. Often from a young age. Kids tend to play among each other more neutrally until adults start planting millions of little gender seeds into them that shape the minds into a certain personality type based on gender. And ofc as soon as you hit puberty, there is a harsher cutoff. Most friendships are same gender ones. Boys talk about girls like they are a different species and so do girls. All of this serves the system of gender based role assignment because it grooms us all into playing our „part“ but when you try to isolate people into units of 2 adults, one of them being you, and a very close person living with you 24/07, it leads to a sense of immense pressure on the partner that ultimately makes society feel lonely. This is also how married people can feel lonely. As for the loneliness epidemic thing, it‘s a symptom of that gender divide sabotaging men in terms of approaching women like an alien species. Again relating to the gender divide. The greater issue is in my opinion at least that most straight people are doomed to create a wall between them and a potential partner based on gender ideas. „Do this if you want a woman to care.“ „try this to make her like you.“ it sounds like coaching you to lure in an animal. Women are human beings. Brains of men and women have been analyzed and are identical on scans. But people still pretend like women and men are like 2 different alien species that cannot possibly understand each other. And that is all because of the patriarchy. Because when that was harsher and more restrictive for women, women had to be dehumanized from men like slaves tend to be dehumanized. It is a lot harder to treat someone like a second class citizen if you see them as human as yourself. So patriarchal femininity was created to pretend that women being forced into a slave role with no autonomy was in their nature. „Weaker, more sensitive, nurturing, caring, a follower“ or to translate it: „easy to abuse into submission but don‘t overdo it, she might have a mental breakdown being your slave and getting violated every day but don‘t worry it‘s in her nature to be crazy emotional, can be forced to reproduce ofc and you can force her to do all the childcare after all she is your slave and also it‘s totally what her feeble woman brain wants, she‘ll be so emotionally in tune with you. Please ignore that that‘s mostly to survive being your slave, it‘s just part of her womanly charm and lastly, she will of course do everything you say. If she won‘t you can beat her until she will. Don‘t forget, being your slave is her feminine nature. She is most happy in chains. If she doesn‘t act that way, she‘s just confused with all those womanly emotions.“ yes I know this is a bit on the nose perhaps but if you have your society work on that for like millenia and only have women free of that horror for like maybe 60 years or so, things will naturally be less stable. If you were to ask me, I‘d say abolish gender roles all together but we as a society probably won‘t ever go there. But in general, in a capitalist society with a patriarchy on life support, things will only get worse over time. Everyone will get more lonely. Because the goal is to keep the majority from feeling like they have strength in numbers. If everyone is trapped within a 1 person or 2 person unit, and every stranger is a competitor, you have created the perfect society of powerless peasants.

Texan2116 · 2026-06-28T21:16:48+00:00

yes it exists( and also for women as well.).

However there are men who just bring zilch to the table, and as such, no one is interested. No car, no money, obese, bad hygiene..these men exist. And exactly why would any woman want that?

Now the same women, and this will sound sexist..they still have their sex organs..and can at the least have moments of validation.

Having said this I know a couple of ladies in this boat, and they are pretty lonely as well.

Life, just isn't fair sometimes.

Mouse1701 · 2026-06-29T05:07:54+00:00

Icy-Month-1749 · 2026-06-30T06:54:01+00:00

I believe part of it is true. With that settled I also want to comment how often during arguments with my boyfriend that sometimes are not even related, he tells me no one cares about men's feelings or no one wants to listen to them, but I always try to be there for him to tell me ask and it is so hard for him to open up. Also, I have told him that i don't particularly feel that others really care sincerely about my feelings and I am not always saying others don't listen to me. I think they believe women are always heard sincerily and are seen for who they are and connection is hard for everyone now a days. Also, I told him that i open up a lot with a friend and she tells me her stories too and he tells me that he can have a good relationship with friends and his brother but they never talk about their issues or nothing too personal. The thing is that they blame women or society for not listening to men but they don't even share with their closest friends and to have connection you have to be vulnerable and we all have to do that. I am not saying society does not play a part but I see how sometimes he says that and I believe he should learn to open up more with his brother and best friends and it is a skill to develop and if they don't open up with other men and friends, it is not a random woman's fault. No one is knocking on my door to hear my issues and I was very closed as a child and had to learn to be vulnerable with therapy and exposure.

Red_Trapezoid · 2026-06-30T08:50:06+00:00

It’s not male exclusive the world is just more isolating due to a variety of preventable factors such as a lack of third spaces, over reliance on cars and so on and so forth. You are correct though in that a lot of men are isolated specifically because they totally suck as people and time is limited so socially competent people don’t want to deal with that.

GaviFromThePod · 2026-06-28T18:28:00+00:00

I think that more people’s primary hobby is gaming, which is both expensive and time consuming, and makes you disengaged with others.

stella-is-a-flower · 2026-06-28T18:50:24+00:00

you're right that the loneliness epidemic is driven by redpillers, but not in the way you think. when the most prominent male voices speaking for men are trash and the stereotype of a whole generation of male zoomers is that they're creepy pornsick Tate/looksmaxxer analogues, it leaves a ton of young men unspoken for. there are SO many decent young men who are aware of this stereotype and can feel how uncomfortable young women have become with the gender divide. they don't want to hurt anyone or creep anyone out. they're not smashing their jaws or angrily demanding the government give them a sex slave wife, they'd just ... like to meet someone and maybe fall in love? but they're terrified of making the first move in case she gets creeped out and rejects him.

maybe he read the situation all wrong and he IS a creepy incel and just didn't know. maybe he should just stop talking to women altogether. he hates that just being a man and a virgin means that everyone will think there's something wrong with him. he hates that he can't talk about this anywhere without people accusing him of wanting a state sponsored wife or being an incel when he's just trying to go "man, I'm kinda lonely and wish I had someone to share life with." and maybe they're right and there IS something wrong with him because he's a man and all men have this seed of violence and darkness, apparently. and now he's approaching 30 and he's never really dated and yeah he's sexually frustrated but he's not going to take it out on anyone, he would never put that burden on a woman, he's just going to sit here by himself and be really fucking lonely because nobody wants to deal with a creepy loser who's never had sex. the only people who will listen to him when he talks about this are the exact people he hates, the incel communities and the manosphere, who tell him that he can get bitches if he just does a whole bunch of stuff that goes completely against who he is as a person and starts treating women like subhuman objects, or they tell him that women aren't even worth it and he should take the black pill and accept that HE is the subhuman one.

I work with these guys literally as a career. it's really sad. there are so many people who fit this mold but you can't even say "male loneliness" without a bunch of shitposters talking about Clavicular or going Elliot Rodgers.

dew-waynz · 2026-06-28T19:45:16+00:00

You might be overthinking and limiting your perspective of loneliness. Western culture is male loneliness. Men are pigeon holed into superficial “male” topics like work, sports, politics, history, hobbies, tv, etc. none of those are bad topics but rarely do we venture past.

GoalDull4985 · 2026-06-28T20:25:09+00:00

Isn't the male loneliness epidemic mostly just men crying about not getting laid enough?

Irislynx · 2026-06-29T00:52:20+00:00

A lot of people are loneliness but just like with everything in the world male pain is considered worthy of attention and concern, female pain is at best ignored at worst laughed at mocked or results in abuse of many kinds.

cynical-vision666 · 2026-06-29T09:00:46+00:00

The thing is, I don't even understand what the definition of it is even supposed to be.

I thought it was about men, not having friends lately for some reason or no one to talk to. Then I seen it seemed to revolve around them finding it hard to find anyone to date.

Which is it even? Like was it originally about men just being alienated in general, and evolved into something about it only seeming to be about relationships?

Odimorsus · 2026-06-29T15:27:50+00:00

Not a chance. If I’ve managed to avoid it, anyone who hasn’t is barely cut out for life, let alone one without loneliness.

Title	What do you think about the epidemic of male loneliness? Do you think it exists?
Author	Flourescendrama
Upvotes	4
Comments	97
Date	June 28, 2026 6:20 PM UTC (3 weeks ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/1ui4k0s/what_do_you_think_about_the_epidemic_of_male/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/what-do-you-think-about-the-epidemic-of-male.1583819 https://theredarchive.com/post/1583819

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