Shit testing- how to be aware of it? What are some shit tests we might not even realize we're giving?

little_red_ · 2014-03-10T15:41:02+00:00

Behaving in a manner to get a reaction out of him that you are looking to judge, be it asking a question with a pre designated answer, acting childish, or questioning his judgment. Generally being unpleasant to challenge his frame.

TempestTcup · 2014-03-10T15:32:31+00:00

Being snippy, rolling your eyes, making him hold your purse, questioning his judgement: you will know when you are shit-testing him because you will be disgusted with him as you are doing it. When you start looking at him sideways; you are about to start shit-testing him.

BooksofMagic · 2014-03-10T15:35:46+00:00

basically, any time you are asking him a question that you WILL get angry with him for answering "wrong" you are shit testing him.

"do i look fat?"

"do you think shes pretty?"

"what do you want to eat tonight?" "pizza" "PIZZA!!! YOU KNOW IM ON A DIET AND CANT EAT PIZZA!!! BITCH BITCH BITCH SCREECH BARGL BLURP SCREEEE"*

*this is a literal transcript of what your man hears when you start bitching

wearing_yoga_pants · 2014-03-10T16:54:41+00:00

Think of it in terms of submission and rebellion. Submission means that you stand as a confident, realized person who can happily go about her business, while choosing to support your man to fully live out his nature as a man. Rebellion means that you want to grab hold of the reigns and seize power for yourself... for many reasons... maybe you're vulnerable about genuinely trusting your man to lead. Maybe there is a pattern of codependency where intimacy is a kind of bargaining tool on your way to feed off his masculinity. Maybe he's clueless and causes genuine hurt, and you withdraw emotionally and check out a little instead of bringing issues out in the open and working to grow together.

In rebellion, you seek assurance that you can be free to be a bitch and that he can handle it. It's a way to quiet the dissonance in your mind, not by working with it first to understand its nature and choosing how to act, but letting it bubble out and avoid accountability because ANY strong emotion resolves the dissonance.

Done as a way to filter people, it's very effective because it serves to establish a negotiated power so you know you can really trust and be vulnerable because he "just gets it". Done as a constant kind of nagging in a LTR, it is a shirking of your responsibility to be the best person you can be by embracing your femininity instead of fitness testing so that his masculinity can shine.

Practice genuine submission to train yourself out of it. Learn to recognize the triggers that make you fitness test, learn to pause your mind to choose how to act. And if you have a mature and supporting SO, work with him to practice mutual accountability.

edit: some examples... can be very subtle or more direct. Like telling him not to eat or drink something because you "care about his health". Or the classic "eat your dinner, dear" when he doesn't comply with some social etiquette. Your world between the two of you is yours, not subject to some bullshit rules unless you both agree to them as standards. Or the "your hands are too cold, don't touch me" rejection where instead of taking and warming the hands up in a warm... spot, you act like a brat where the only world that matters is your own.

peopleofthepine · 2014-03-10T15:34:25+00:00

Tone of voice not matching what you are saying.

2014-03-10T17:45:39+00:00

If you're trying to get a rise out of him or are trying to see how far he'll let you go before he explodes on you (or breaks down), you're shit testing him. "

Sarcasm can also be read as a shit test. "I'm not mad." That would be trying to force him to apologize, even when he's done nothing wrong, because he probably doesn't want you to be mad at him.

Asking his opinion and then treating him like it's wrong is also a shit test. For many women, there is no "right" answer to any question she asks (especially to the "Do I look fat in this?" question).

Also, trying to pull feminism or treating him like he's a sexist pig can be a shit test. "You won't let me do [thing], but your best friend does it all the time!" "You don't take me seriously because I'm a woman!"

There are others, but those are common ones.

SirNemesis · 2014-03-10T17:50:43+00:00

Don't ask a question if you expect him to give you the "right" answer. I.e., don't ask for input if you don't want actual input.

Don't lie. E.g., don't say "everything is fine" and then explode at him when he takes you at your word.

Both of these will fall under the more general category of expecting the guy to be a mind-reader, which is essentially what any shit-test is. A shit-test is when you expect certain behavior/response from the guy but don't actually tell him what you expect (or tell him you expect something different, e.g. telling him you want him to do more housework when this will cause you to lose attraction for him).

what_no_pudding · 2014-03-12T03:55:43+00:00

The shit-test...

Never heard it put that way before. I like it !

'Check Yo Self Before You Wreck Yo Self' immediately comes to mind as well.

FleetingWish · 2014-03-10T18:14:17+00:00

As far as I can tell there is no way to tell that you're shit testing someone. Shit testing is natural behavior, it's how we test if someone is attractive to us. You stop the moment you don't care if someone is attractive to you (ie if someone is unattractive to you). The only thing you can do is stay away from "confrontational" shit tests and try to steer more towards "teasing" shit tests.

Title	Shit testing- how to be aware of it? What are some shit tests we might not even realize we're giving?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	16
Comments	53
Date	March 10, 2014 3:17 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/201vy0/shit_testing_how_to_be_aware_of_it_what_are_some/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/shit-testing-how-to-be-aware-of-it-what-are-some.165225 https://theredarchive.com/post/165225

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