**Stats:** Age: 30, Height: 6'0, Weight: 173, BF: 12% (Navy Method), BP: 225, Squat: 285, DL: 315, Occupation: Defense Contractor.

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**Read:** The Rational Male, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck, NMMNG, and a lot of military books on leadership. Would highly recommend some of these books if you feel leadership is something you are lacking in your life as they detail leadership on a personal level and an organizational level in addition to the consequences of toxic leadership as well as the effects of quality leaders. PM if interested in some good reads.

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First post, tear me up if you want.

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TLDR: Beta Bob is a control freak with anger problems. When Beta Bob is put in situations with an AMOG he will explode with anger because his insecurity and need for attention is not being fulfilled.

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I want to start this FR with a little background about myself. Divorced a few years ago, two kids, shared custody, and in LTR for roughly two years now. Swallowed the pill about a year ago and frequented MRP when shit was going downhill fast. Suffice to say things have vastly improved. Now on to Beta Bob. This FR is essentially a series of incidents that occurred between Beta Bob and myself and I really want to highlight the traits of the manipulative and controlling beta and what not to do, or how to handle yourself in the situation the controlling beta feels threatened.

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A bit of background on Beta Bob. Him and his wife are decade long friends with my LTR. With that being said, they are also mutual friends with LTR's ex-husband. Needless to say, this in itself most likely will not lead to any sort of desirable outcome. I am a firm believer that when two people divorce, mutual friends no longer exist.

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With that being said, enter Beta Bob. Around seven to eight months ago, Beta Bob and his wife finally decided to come hang out with LTR and me. Right off the bat I started getting bad vibes from Beta Bob. First of all, Bob is about 5'7 and 220lbs of soft served ice cream. No problem, I typically try to judge people based on the merits of their character. Beta Bob soon proved he had none. The first alarms that started going off in my head were, that night, as we were drinking and playing Cards Against Humanity, Bob started getting legitimately angry that he was "losing." For any of you familiar with Cards Against Humanity, you literally cannot lose this game, its just a social game you play until you get bored. Not to Bob though, Bob had to win, and when Bob had less cards than anyone, Bob complained and left like a butt-hurt loser. This was just my first interaction with Bob. Don't be like Bob.

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My second interaction with Bob was at a mutual friend's housewarming party. Bob and his wife were there, and Bob was getting increasingly upset throughout the night that he was not the center of attention. It was kind of pathetic watching Bob try to one up everyone at the party in order to garner the attention he craved. Bob was trying so hard to AMOG you almost felt bad for him. Unfortunately for Bob, one-upping and beating your chest harder than everyone in the room doesn't work, especially when you could be a stand-in for the Michelin Man. A few hours into the party Bob started to realize his vies for attention were no longer working, as one could imagine, getting one-upped at every turn can be exhausting. Bob proceeded to leave the party in much the same manner my nine year old would storm up to her room when I tell her if she doesn't eat all her dinner she can go to bed hungry. Don't be like Bob.

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These are just two instances I can think of when I started to really get to know what type of person Bob was. While I had my suspicions Bob was a controlling manipulative person, I still gave him the benefit of the doubt, although there was always that lingering feeling that Bob was only out for himself, and would do anything at anyone's expense, underhandedly and in the most cowardly way possible, to get what he wanted. Now I say this matter-of-factly, because Bob finally exploded. I could always tell Bob was never really concerned with being friends with me, but I had a lot of fun meeting my LTR's friends and going to parties with her, so Bob was really of no concern, more of an afterthought really.

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The final event. It was Bob's wife's birthday. We started off at a country fair beer festival. We bought Bob and his wife beer tickets as it was his wife's birthday and played games and had a great time. The first event; Bob and I were playing a version of beer pong with soccer balls and trash cans, it was my turn and i threw the ball too hard and ended up knocking Bob's drink out of his hand. I told Bob I would buy him another drink, but Bob had that look on his face, that look I am all too familiar with. He was short with me, because I spilled beer on his brand new shoes. We then took the party to Bob's house. We bought Bob's wife a present and brought some of our own alcohol. Again, everything is going smooth. I am talking to LTR's friends and bullshitting with Bob. Now, I should mention Bob is in the Navy, so, being a military man myself we rib each other back and forth. I don't mind it and think its funny, its that sort of camaraderie military guys typically share. Well Bob can certainly dish it out but he can't take it. We move the party to the hot tub, LTR puts on her friend's swim suit and Bob offers me one of his (keep in mind, Bob is a waist size 38-40, I am a 32). I respectfully decline, and go into my car and grab a pair of silkies to put on, seeing as I always have a pair in there because I run two to three miles on my lunch breaks. For those unfamiliar with silkies or dive shorts, they are the booty short military shorts you usually see Marines doing PT in. Well this was a point of contention all night for Bob. Bob kept making off hand comments about how "men shouldn't be wearing women's shorts."

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Bob's fragile ego was now coming into play, and he felt intimidated. I brushed it off, and Bob got increasingly aggressive, to which I essentially AA'd and AM'd. Bob did not like this. Anyway, LTR and I both go inside to use the bathroom, and LTR overheard Bob talking to his wife and saying some very questionable things about me. LTR said, "we have to go, I am not staying here with that fake fucker anymore." I was confused, I heard nothing Bob said. So we went outside to tell them we were leaving because Bob was being a butt-hurt faggot. I told Bob if he had something to say, just say it. Bob tried to joke it off and avoid any sort of confrontation like the coward beta that he is. Finally, Bob gets out of the hot tub, jiggles towards me, and starts yelling at me about drinking his alcohol and disrespecting him in his hot tub. I just looked at him and said, "that's fucked up dude, we brought our own alcohol." Bob starting slewing insults my way, while keeping out of any sort of striking distance, and I sat there and smiled the whole time. Bob went inside, slammed the door and sulked like a child the rest of the night. I eventually called an Uber, went home, caveman fucked the shit out of my LTR, and kept receiving angry Facebook messages from Bob until I finally blocked him. Some say Bob is still sulking in his room to this day. Don't be like Bob.

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The takeaway: At least some point in your RP journey you will encounter Beta Bobs. These are controlling and manipulative men, and men that explode when you don't enter their frame. Had I got into a shouting match or fist fight with Beta Bob, not only would I have needlessly expended energy, but I would have entered Bob's frame and the end result could have ended with someone in the hospital or jail.

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The key here is to continue to internalize and implement what you learned, keep your cool, and rise above the situation. The techniques you learn here are not only helpful for your LTR or your pursuit of being a better man, but helpful in every other facet of your life, implement and apply them and you won't end up looking like a butt-hurt man child. Also, be attractive, don't be unattractive...

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